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Josh Schwartz Quotes

Total quotes: 28
“Dude, you're a Cohen now. Welcome to a life of insecurity and paralyzing self-doubt.”
— Seth Cohen, The O.C., Season 1: The Debut
Tagged: Insecurity, Welcome, Self-Doubt, Paralyzing, joke, Snarky, Sassy
“Holidays make what is better even worse.”
— Ryan Atwood, The O.C., Season 1: The Best Chrismukkah Ever
Tagged: Holidays, Christmas
“Marissa: Who are you?

Ryan: Whoever you want me to be.”
— Ryan Atwood, The O.C., Season 1: Premiere
Tagged: flirty, mysterious, Want, Vague, Enigmatic, Iconic
“Summer: The other night, when we... had sex... you weren't the only virgin in the room.

Seth: There was someone else in the room? Like, filming us?

Summer: Me, jackass.”
— Summer Roberts, The O.C., Season 1: The Heartbreak
Tagged: Sex, virgin, Filming, Porn, Jackass, Snarky, Witty, humor
“Chase: I gotta go.

Alex: Cause of these guys? We used to make fun of guys like these.

Chase: Yeah, and now we make fun of guys like you.”
— Chase Stein, Marvel's Runaways, Season 1: Reunion
Tagged: Jocks, Nerds, Friends, enemies, Make Fun, bully
“Kids that know you when you're young? No one will ever know you like that again. Don't give up on that.”
— Geoffrey Wilder, Marvel's Runaways, Season 1: Reunion
Tagged: kids, young, Youth, Don't Give Up, Contextual Quotes
“Caleb: Seth! Ah... You're still not a football player.

Seth: Ha, no, but thank you.”
— Seth Cohen, The O.C., Season 1: The Girlfriend
Tagged: Football, Insult, Thank You, Sassy, Snarky, Rude
“Seth: Is it twisted if I find my potential grandma really hot?

Ryan: Not when she looks like that.”
— Seth Cohen, The O.C., Season 1: The Girlfriend
Tagged: Grandma, Twisted, Hot, Attractive, joke, Sassy, awkward
“Do you know what I dream about when I dream about Thanksgiving, which is a lot? I dream that I eat so much deliciousness that all the blood rushes to my stomach and I pass out right at the table. Please do not deny me that.”
— Seth Cohen, The O.C., Season 1: The Homecoming
Tagged: Thanksgiving, food, Eat, Holidays, Delicious, Pass Out, Deny, humor, joke
“Marissa: I think we should spend this whole summer just being normal.

Ryan: We're not gonna hold Seth to that, are we?

Marissa: No. That would be impossible.”
— Marissa Cooper, The O.C., Season 1: The Ties That Bind
Tagged: Summer, normal, impossible, Snarky, Insult, Rude, humor
“Serena: I can't believe Blair won. 

Dan: Yeah, who voted for her?

Chuck: Me. About 150 times.”
— Chuck Bass, Gossip Girl, Season 2: Valley Girls
Tagged: voting, Ballot Stuffing
“Gabrielle: Fifth grade? Okay, she needs to change that. She's known that guy since he's been eating paste.

Seth: I think he still does.”
— Seth Cohen, The O.C., Season 1: The Girlfriend
Tagged: Fifth Grade, Elementary School, Paste, Dating, Boyfriend, Snarky, Sassy, Insult
“Seth: What happens in Mexico stays in Mexico.

Ryan: What happens in Mexico?

Seth: I don't know, because it stays there. That's why we must go!”
— Seth Cohen, The O.C., Season 1: The Escape
Tagged: Mexico, Secret, travel, joke, Sassy, humor
“Summer: You were in the comic book club?

Seth: Yeah. I was the president and only member.”
— Seth Cohen, The O.C., Season 1: The Proposal
Tagged: Comic Books, Comics, President, pathetic, Sad
“There's nothing Gossip Girl likes more than a good catfight and this could be a classic.”
— Gossip Girl, Gossip Girl, Gossip Girl Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Catfight
“Blair: Chuck Bass is a romantic. Who knew? 

Chuck: Now you do. That's all that matters.”
— Chuck Bass, Gossip Girl, Gossip Girl Season 1: Gossip Girl
Tagged: Cute Dialogue
“Tina: Does this mean what I think?

Leslie: We're gonna need another sacrifice.”
— Leslie Dean, Marvel's Runaways, Season 1: Reunion
Tagged: dark, Sacrifice, mysterious, foreboding, Contextual Quotes
“Do you want to play Grand Theft Auto? It's pretty cool. You can like, steal cars and... not that that's cool. Or uncool. I don't know... um...”
— Seth Cohen, The O.C., Season 1: Premiere
Tagged: joke, Grand Theft Auto, Video Games, Pop Culture, awkward, steal, cool, Uncool
“Chuck: If I knew his name, I would hunt him down and kill him.

Nate: Because you kill people now? You gonna strangle him with your scarf?

Chuck: Don't mock the scarf, Nathaniel. It's my signature.

Nate: I'm just saying, death by scarf? Not that intimidating”
— Chuck Bass, Gossip Girl, Gossip Girl Season 1: The Wild Brunch
Tagged: Murder, Killing People With A Scarf
“Geoffrey: Those friends of yours are probably feeling the exact same way you are today.

Alex: Actually, they're doing just fine.

Geoffrey: Or maybe they're better at hiding what's really going on.”
— Geoffrey Wilder, Marvel's Runaways, Season 1: Reunion
Tagged: Friends, Feeling, Fine, Hiding, facade, Wisdom, Parents, Family
“Don't mock the scarf, Nathaniel. It's my signature.”
— Chuck Bass, Gossip Girl, Gossip Girl Season 1: The Wild Brunch
Tagged: Fashion, Vanity, Mocking
“Ryan: I'm not too popular around here. And your boyfriend? A little angry.

Marissa: Oh, and you're telling me you didn't try to hit him back?

Ryan: Actually, I hit him first.

Marissa: Well, hard to believe you're not more popular.”
— Marissa Cooper, The O.C., Season 1: The Model Home
Tagged: Popular, Boyfriend, angry, Fight, hit, Sassy, flirty
“Anna: Wait. Are you the kid from Chino who steals cars and sets people's houses on fire? So you're saying I'm making my debut into society with Newport's most wanted?

Ryan: Is that gonna be a problem?

Anna: I can't wait.”
— Anna Stern, The O.C., Season 1: The Debut
Tagged: steal, criminal, Arson, Fire, Society, Debut, Debutantes, Mischief, Problem
“I have my secret recipe: takeout.”
— Kirsten Cohen, The O.C., Season 1: The Ties That Bind
Tagged: Recipe, food, Takeout, joke, Secret, humor, Cooking
“Anna: Could you be any more pathetic? A lone figure sitting on the floor, wondering if he's gonna be lonely for the rest of his life.

Seth: Hey, your sensitivity — it's really, uh, nonexistent.

Anna: You know what your problem is? You're not a man.

Seth: Again, not appreciating the brutal honesty.”
— Seth Cohen, The O.C., Season 1: The Debut
Tagged: pathetic, Lonely, Sensitivity, Insensitive, Man, Brutal Honesty, Honesty, joke, humor
“Seth: Ryan, that's extremely minty of you. I didn't even know they had musicals in Chino. I didn't even know they had dancing, or... laughter.

Ryan: That's because no one who lived there is as funny as you.

Seth: So, we finally agree I'm the funny one. Well, look at that! Looks like we all learned some valuable lessons this Thanksgiving.”
— Seth Cohen, The O.C., Season 1: The Homecoming
Tagged: Thanksgiving, Holidays, Witty, humor, Minty, Musicals, Dancing, Laughter, Funny, Sassy
“Kirsten: Maybe you guys can make peace this weekend.

Sandy: Okay. Oh, no, no wait. I can't.

Kirsten: Why?

Sandy: I'm still Jewish. Just gettin' it out of my system. I promise.

Kirsten: I wonder what his new girlfriend's like.

Sandy: I am sure she is very well paid. And on fire.”
— Sandy Cohen, The O.C., Season 1: The Girlfriend
Tagged: Peace, Family, awkward, Jewish, Girlfriend, Prostitute, Escort, joke, Fire
“Luke: Maybe I can just blow the whole thing off, go hit the beach, give everybody time to get it out of their systems.

Ryan: It doesn't work like that. It's been months and I'm still the kid from Chino that burned a house down.

Marissa: And I'm still the girl who tried to kill herself in Mexico.

Seth: And I'm still the... I'm still Seth Cohen.”
— Seth Cohen, The O.C., Season 1: The Secret
Tagged: beach, Arson, Suicide Attempts, joke, Sassy, Snarky, humor
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