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John Roberts Quotes

Total quotes: 18
“You're a hurtful slut, Bob!”
— Linda Belcher, Bob's Burgers, Season 2: Dr. Yap
Tagged: Hurtful Slut, Slut, Slut-shaming
“You were right, Bob. I needed to let my baby birds fly. My bratty little baby birds fly with their crappy little wings. Sometimes you gotta push 'em out the window.”
— Linda Belcher, Bob's Burgers, Season 2: Synchronized Swimming
Tagged: Alliteration, Baby Birds, Failure to Launch
“Linda: Mort, Teddy, what are you doing right now?


Mort: Adjusting myself without anyone noticing.



Teddy: Watching Mort adjust himself.”
— Linda Belcher, Bob's Burgers, Season 4: Fort Night
Tagged: Adjusting Oneself, watching someone adjust themselves
“Bob, Gene, look at yourselves; you're father and son! You're supposed to love each other, not kill each other; this isn't the Bible!”
— Linda Belcher, Bob's Burgers, Season 2: Beefsquatch
Tagged: Bible, Fratricide, Parricide
“Upskirt Kurt: Why'd you head-butt me?!


Linda: I was going to punch you, but I'm holding wine.”
— Linda Belcher (voice), Bob's Burgers, Season 4: Seaplane!
Tagged: Head Butts, Punch, Etiquette, Protocol, Decorum
“I had the video game company take your game away because I love you. It's like the time you took away the credit card from me when I was ordering all those porcelain babies.”
— Linda Belcher, Bob's Burgers, Season 2: Burgerboss
Tagged: Video Games, Addiction, Tough Love, Credit Card
“Rich people run funny. Must be all the money in their pockets. Or their big, rich, golden wieners. Eh, it's probably their wieners.”
— Linda Belcher, Bob's Burgers, Season 4: Ambergris
Tagged: Rich People, Golden Wieners, Money
“I should write a parenting book. Call it, ‘Hey You, I Saw That! Put It Back!’”
— Linda Belcher, Bob's Burgers, Season 4: The Kids Run Away
Tagged: Parenting Books, Parenting
“It was a time in Japan when the evil monsters would attack the nice little villages for no good reason. And the only force in all of Japan who could stop them are...Hawk & Chick!”
— Linda Belcher, Bob's Burgers, Season 5: Hawk & Chick
Tagged: Japanese Monsters, Japan, Evil
“Louise, you do not want that flu bug. I had it and it gave me weird fever dreams. I dreamt I was in a book club with my cousin Vanessa, but she was a werewolf.”
— Linda Belcher, Bob's Burgers, Season 7: Flu-ouise
Tagged: Flu, Fever Dreams, nightmares, Werewolves
“Two people, together forever. Security in life! And someone to love ya! Instead of being all alone, such a lonely existence. I'd kill myself!”
— Linda Belcher, Bob's Burgers, Season 3: My Fuzzy Valentine
Tagged: Security, Loneliness, Commitment, Suicide, Being Alone, Single Life Sucks
“When I die I want you to cremate me and throw my ashes in Tom Selleck's face.”
— Linda Belcher, Bob's Burgers, Season 1: Burger Wars
Tagged: Death Wishes
“Louise: Where do babies come from?

Linda: You all came from my vagina.”
— Linda Belcher, Bob's Burgers, Season 4: Christmas in the Car
Tagged: babies, Childbirth, Reproduction, Birds and Bees, Vagina
“Linda: [worried] They're not here! I got Tina's diary, let's see if it says anything. [reads diary] Dear Diary, tonight we're sneaking into the dangerous taffy factory. Also, if boys had uteruses they'd be called duderuses.'


Bob: Ha, 'duderuses.'”
— Linda Belcher, Bob's Burgers, Season 2: The Belchies
Tagged: Duderuses, Diary, dangerous, Portmanteus
“Wine helps me drink.”
— Linda Belcher, Bob's Burgers, Season 4: A River Runs Through Bob
Tagged: Wine, Drinking
“I wanna take her stupid neck and wring it!”
— Linda Belcher, Bob's Burgers, Season 5: Late Afternoon in the Garden of Bob and Louise
Tagged: Threats, Strangulation, Wanting To Kill People, Desire to Murder
“Teddy: You know that boat that I've been fixing up?


Linda: Yoooou've mentioned it.



Teddy: Well, I finally got her shipshape, and I thought it'd be fun to take you all out.



Louise: Kill us?



Teddy: No, take you out for a boat ride.”
— Linda Belcher, Bob's Burgers, Season 7: Sea Me Now
Tagged: Threats, invitations, boats
“Now the commencement speakers will typically also wish you good luck and extend good wishes to you. I will not do that, and I’ll tell you why. From time to time in the years to come, I hope you will be treated unfairly, so that you will come to know the value of justice. I hope that you will suffer betrayal because that will teach you the importance of loyalty. Sorry to say, but I hope you will be lonely from time to time so that you don’t take friends for granted. I wish you bad luck, again, from time to time so that you will be conscious of the role of chance in life and understand that your success is not completely deserved and that the failure of others is not completely deserved either. And when you lose, as you will from time to time, I hope every now and then, your opponent will gloat over your failure. It is a way for you to understand the importance of sportsmanship. I hope you’ll be ignored so you know the importance of listening to others, and I hope you will have just enough pain to learn compassion. Whether I wish these things or not, they’re going to happen. And whether you benefit from them or not will depend upon your ability to see the message in your misfortunes.”
— John Roberts, Read Supreme Court Justice John Roberts' Unconventional Speech to His Son's Graduating Class
Tagged: Advice, Commencement, Fail, Failure Quotes
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