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John 'J.D.' Dorian

26 quotes

All Love (5)Change (3)Sassy (3)Friends (3)Sex (2)Choice (2)strength (2)Growth (2)Expectations (2)Growing Up (1)breasts (1)Fashion (1)Students (1)Fellings (1)Spending Time (1)

From “My Super Ego”

Elliot: You know I kinda had a date last night? J.D.: Really? Elliot: Yeah, a guy on the bus fell asleep on me and drooled on my shoulder. J.D.: ...You slut.

Dating sarcastic bus drool Date

From “My Own Personal Jesus”

J.D.: Oh, God, his ex-wife. The tension actually hurts. You have to break it; say something, anything! [aloud] Banana hammock! Dr. Cox: I'm betting your ability to thrive under pressure is what drove you to medicine.

Banana Hammock tension Under Pressure Sassy awkward

From “My Drug Buddy”

Remember when the new Star Wars movie came out? It was all built up, and when people finally saw it, it wasn't that great in bed?

Sex Expectations good in bed Star Wars Insecure

From “My Old Man”

Maybe the mistake we make is thinking our parents will change. And maybe they did a better job than we give them credit for. And maybe there, amid all the crap they dumped on us, are some things worth keeping. Like a passion for something you never knew you had. Or the ability to constantly surround…

Parents Change Friends Love Growing Up

From “My Hero”

I think one of the most universal human experiences is feeling alone. You'd never know it, but there's most likely tons of people feeling the exact same way. Maybe because you're feeling abandoned. Maybe because you realize that you aren't as self-sufficient as you thought. Maybe because you know…

Alone Abandoned Low Point Mindset Choice

From “My New Old Friend”

There are a few things I've always believed in. Flowers are good for any occasion. And nothing is more important than making time for an old friend, especially if the old girl has seen better days. Because even if it breaks your heart to be "just friends," if you really care about someone, you'll…

Friends Flowers caring Just Friends

From “My Screw Up”

Dr. Cox: Shower Shorts? J.D: For the man who has nothing to hide, but still wants to.

Shower Shorts shower Shy Embarrassment hide

From “My Choosiest Choice of All”

Danni: Do you even enjoy spending time with me? J.D.: 'Enjoy' is such a strong word. I... I'm used to it! Y'know, like cafeteria food, or the constant threat of terrorism.

hanging out Spending Time Used To It enjoy Cafeteria Food

There comes a time when every man needs to make a choice, whether it's a professional choice or whether it's a personal choice. In the end, it's about integrity, and it's about chasing after what you really want, even if that means showing you both care a little. And sometimes... well, sometimes you…

proud Integrity Happiness Friend Choice

From “My Old Friend's New Friend”

Dr. Cox: Newbie, do you want me to give my "things I don't care about" speech again? Because I've updated it to include all white guys who add -izzle to anything. J.D.: I agrizzle, my nizzle.

don't care Speech White Guys -izzle Comeback

From “My Office”

Dr. Cox: Newbie, how you doing? J.D.: OK, keep it together. It's "be a man" time. [out loud] No, it's fine. You went with your gut. Elliot's a great doctor. I do have three questions, though. Why do you hate me when I show you nothing but love?! Who's going to tell my mom?! And what the hell am I…

promotion Disappoinment Business Cards Jobs Questions

From “My First Kill”

J.D.: ...That's why it's always nice when someone takes the time to reach out and befriend you. New Doctor: Hey! I'm Ron, I'm a new doctor here. J.D.: Hey Ron, the "I don't care" ward's down there.

Befriend hypocrite I Don't Care New Sassy

From “My Malpractical Decision”

Turk: J.D., big news! Guess what my new cell phone number spells! J.D.: Why'd you get a new cell phone number? Your old number spelled 'kufunninapuh.' Turk: Yeah, well this one's 916-CALL-TURK. Yeah, so now all you gotta do is call Turk! J.D.: How'm I supposed to remember that? I'm begging you,…

Friends Spelling Change Big News cell phone

From “My Female Trouble”

No matter how much we like to pretend otherwise, strong confident women will always have the power over us. Whether they're fighting for respect, fighting for their man, or even just fighting for the hell of it. Strong women make all guys feel the same way.

Strong Women Confidence Power Respect strength

From “My Intern's Eyes”

Jason, when you're filling out a female patient's exam report, her breasts can be "healthy" or "unhealthy," but never "bangin' double-Ds."

breasts healthy unhealthy Big Breasts Double-Ds

From “My Urologist”

Carla: Remember when I first started dating Turk and I wanted to bail on him because he cried at the end of sex? Turk: Baby! J.D.: Relax, Brown Bear, there's no shame in cry-maxing.

Sex Crying Cry-Maxing orgasm No Shame

From “My Friend With Money”

Hey, nice singlet! Does it come in hetero?

Fashion Singlet Hetero

From “My Cold Shower”

As I looked at all the relationships around me... Some that had gone on forever... some that were reigniting... and some that had just begun... I realized something: It should have been me.

Love Regret Relationships Forever Reigniting

From “My Happy Place”

The point is, Elliot. You're a lot stronger than you used to be. I've changed, too... I have a beard now.

strength Change beard Growth

From “My ABC's”

I grew up on the street... No, not the hood. The Sesame Street.

Sesame Street Grew Up Hood Neighborhood Growth

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