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John Hughes Quotes

Total quotes: 70
“Personally, I'd rather see a 46-inch bust singing ‘Burnin' Love.’”
— Roman Craig, The Great Outdoors
Tagged: Elvis Presley, Burnin' Love
“Bethany: Is your house on fire, Clark?

Clark: No, Aunt Bethany, those are the Christmas lights.”
— Clark Griswold, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Tagged: christmas lights, house fire
“The most enjoying traditions of the season are best enjoyed in the warm embrace of kith and kin. Thith tree is a thymbol of the thpirit of the Griswold family Chrithmath.”
— Clark Griswold, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Tagged: lisp, Christmas Spirit
“Ellen: Clark, Audrey's frozen from the waist down.

Clark: That's all part of the experience, honey.”
— Clark Griswold, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Tagged: Frigid
“Clark: Russ, go get the hammer.

Ellen: Clark, what do you need a hammer for?

Clark: I'm gonna catch it in the coat…and smack it with the hammer.”
— Clark Griswold, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Tagged: bird, Hammer
“Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you'd have a diamond.”
— Ferris Bueller, Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Tagged: High-Maintenance, Anal Personality
“Oh, he's very popular Ed. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, dickheads - they all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude.”
— Grace, Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Tagged: Popular Kids, Popularity
“I asked for a car, I got a computer. How's that for being born under a bad sign?”
— Ferris Bueller, Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Tagged: computers, Cars
“Donger's here for five hours, and he's got somebody. I live here my whole life, and I'm like a disease.”
— Samantha, Sixteen Candles
Tagged: disease, stalker, Annoying
“You might be the toughest little whacker at the junior high but in my world, you're about as worrisome as a cloudy day.”
— Dutch Dooley, Dutch
Tagged: Understatement, Thanksgiving Movies
“How about the gourmet here, you know what he wanted? Hot dogs! You know what they make those things out of, Chet? You know? Lips and assholes!”
— Roman Craig, The Great Outdoors
Tagged: gourmet, Hot Dogs, Lips, Assholes
“You wouldn't know a good time if it fell out of the sky and landed on your face and started to wiggle!”
— Roman Craig, The Great Outdoors
Tagged: Good Time
“Eddie: You surprised to see us, Clark?

Clark: Oh, Eddie... If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am now.”
— Clark Griswold, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Tagged: Surprised
“Rusty Griswold: Dad, this tree won't fit in our backyard.

Clark: It's not going in the yard, Russ. It's going in the living room.”
— Clark Griswold, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Tagged: Christmas Tree
“Clark: Burn some dust here. Eat my rubber.

Rusty Griswold: Dad, I think you mean burn rubber and eat my dust.

Clark: Whatever, Russ. Whatever.”
— Clark Griswold, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Tagged: eat my dust, burn some rubber
“Clark: Our holidays were always such a mess.

Clark Sr.: Oh, yeah.

Clark: How'd you get through it?

Clark Sr.: I had a lot of help from Jack Daniels.”
— Clark Griswold, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Tagged: Holidays, Jack Daniels
“Well I'm gonna park the cars and get check the luggage, and well, I'll be outside for the season.”
— Clark Griswold, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Tagged: Luggage
“Rusty Griswold: Who was it that said when in Rome do as the Romans do?

Clark Griswold: That was Rome, not Paris. This is Paris and you're drunk.”
— Clark Griswold, National Lampoon's European Vacation
Tagged: when in rome, Rome, paris, Drunk, vacation movies
“Ellen Griswold: We're not really violent people. This is our first gun.

Clark Griswold: No, it isn't.”
— Clark Griswold, National Lampoon's Vacation
Tagged: Guns, gun collectors
“Rusty Griswold: Is that a real gun, Mom?

Ellen Griswold: I don't know, Rusty, but when this is all over, your father...may be going away for a little while.”
— Ellen Griswold, National Lampoon's Vacation
Tagged: Guns, trouble
“Cousin Vicki: I'm going steady, and I French kiss.

Audrey Griswold: So? Everybody does that.

Cousin Vicki: Yeah, but Daddy says I'm the best at it.”
— Cousin Vicki, National Lampoon's Vacation
Tagged: Going Steady, French Kissing, Incest
“I really love Rudy. He is totally enamored of me. I mean, I've had men who've loved me before, but not for six months in a row.”
— John Hughes, Sixteen Candles
Tagged: enamored, Crush
“Ferris: Look, it's real simple. Whatever mileage we put on, we'll take off.

Cameron: How?

Ferris: We'll drive home backwards.”
— Ferris Bueller, Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Tagged: Cars, Mileage
“A: You can never go too far. B: If I'm gonna get busted, it is not gonna be by a guy like that.”
— Ferris Bueller, Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Tagged: Troublemakers, Getting Caught
“Cameron: Ferris, my father loves this car more than life itself.

Ferris: A man with priorities so far out of whack doesn't deserve such a fine automobile.”
— Ferris Bueller, Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Tagged: Expensive Cars, Priorities
“Why aren't we flying? Because getting there is half the fun. You know that.”
— Clark Griswold, National Lampoon's Vacation
Tagged: Flying, Driving
“Audrey Griswold: Mom, where can I go to the bathroom?

Ellen Griswold: Find a bush Audrey!
: Mom, where can I go to the bathroom?

Ellen Griswold: Find a bush, Audrey!”
— Ellen Griswold, National Lampoon's Vacation
Tagged: Public Urination, bathrooms
“Samantha: When you don't have anything, you don't have anything to lose. Right?

Randy: That's a cheerful thought.”
— Samantha, Sixteen Candles
Tagged: nothing to lose, cheerful, Sarcasm
“I want a serious girlfriend. Somebody I can love, that's gonna love me back. Is that psycho?”
— Jake Ryan, Sixteen Candles
Tagged: Girlfriend, Love, psycho
“Brenda Baker: Don't be a smartass.

Mike Baker: OK, I'll be a dumbass.”
— Mike Baker, Sixteen Candles
Tagged: smartass, Dumbass
“What was he wearing? Well, uh, let's see, he was wearing a red argyle sweater, and tan trousers, and red shoes... Hmm? No, he's not retarded.”
— Howard Baker, Sixteen Candles
Tagged: argyle, Retarded
“Clark: Hey, Kids, I heard on the news that an airline pilot spotted Santa's sleigh on its way in from New York City.

Eddie: [after a pause] You serious, Clark?”
— Clark Griswold, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Tagged: Santa Claus, New York City
“Uncle Lewis: Hey Grizz, Bethany and I figured out the perfect gift for you.

Clark: Aw, you didn't have to get me anything.

Uncle Lewis: Dammit, Bethany, he guessed it.”
— Clark Griswold, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Tagged: CHristmas Gifts, no gift for you
“Clark: [Revealing his Christmas 'bonus'] It's a one year membership to the Jelly of the Month Club.

Eddie: Clark, that's the gift that keeps on giving the whole year.”
— Clark Griswold, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Tagged: bad gifts, jelly of the month
“Clark: Catherine, if this turkey tastes half as good as it looks, we're all in for a real treat!

Eddie: Save the neck for me, Clark.

Clark: Okay Eddie...”
— Clark Griswold, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Tagged: christmas turkey
“Clark: [a squirrel is loose in the house] Where is Eddie? He usually eats these goddam things.

Cousin Catherine Johnson: Not recently, Clark. He read that squirrels were high in cholesterol.”
— Clark Griswold, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Tagged: Squirrels, Cholesterol
“This is my ninth sick day this semester. It's pretty tough coming up with new illnesses. If I go for ten, I'm probably going to have to barf up a lung, so I better make this one count.”
— Ferris Bueller, Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Tagged: Skipping School, Sick Day
“Roman: [Chet, Roman, and the kids are out fishing and are putting bait on their hooks] These are the biggest worms I have ever encountered.

Chet: They're not worms, they're leeches.”
— Roman Craig, The Great Outdoors
Tagged: Worms, Leeches, Gross
“I gotta go to the John, I'll be right back. Gonna introduce Mr. Thick Dick to Mr. Urinal Cake!”
— Roman Craig, The Great Outdoors
Tagged: Thick Dick, Urinal Cake
“I don't believe in -isms, I just believe in me.”
— Ferris Bueller, Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Tagged: Isims, Believe In Yourself, Belief In Yourself
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