Combined Shape
Quote Pictures
Pages
Latest
People
Movie Quotes
TV Quotes
Log In
Sign Up
John Duda Quotes
Total quotes (5)
John Duda
Birthname
Share
Tweet
Embed quotes on your blog or website
Embed quotes
Total quotes (5)
I wish that I could be productive, functioning member of society when it gets nice outside but that’s not how this works.
—
John Duda
,
Terrible Habits I'm Going To Pick Back Up Now That Summer's Here
humor
Bad Habits
Share
Getting married at 23 is all fun and games until you realize that you should have waited until your spouse could afford a ring from somewhere other than Claires.
—
John Duda
,
I Can't Change My Own Oil And According To Twitter This Makes Me A Beta Male With A Weak Handshake
LOL
humor
Roasted
Share
I apologize for the vagueness, but I want it to smell like nothing, and right now it smells like something.
—
John Duda
,
I Don't Know How To Put This, But I Want My Apartment To Smell Like Nothing
LOL
Homes
Home
Smells
Aesthetic
Share
I don’t need a Commando 450 like Kramer got on the black market in that episode of Seinfeld, but I think I do need to go with a double shower head. I could even make this a fun little Saturday chore.
—
John Duda
,
The Water Pressure In My Apartment Is Big Trash
LOL
humor
Showers
showering
Bathing
Share
I won’t eat (except when I get hungry). I won’t sleep (unless of course I get tired). And I certainly won’t drink (unless I get bored while staking out the stoop in front of my door and my tummy starts begging me for some nog).
—
John Duda
,
Bad News For Whoever Is Stealing Packages At My Apartment: I’m Officially On The Case
LOL
Stolen Mail
Stolen Packages
Amazon Prime
Fa La La La La
Share
Related quotes to
John Duda
tagged
Humor
,
Lol
Sardonic humor is just my way of relating to the world.
—
Jughead Jones
(Cole Sprouse)
,
Riverdale
,
Season 1
:
Chapter Two: A Touch of Evil
humor
Sardonic Humor
Cynicism
Worldview
Dark Humor
Share
Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy all day.
—
Mitch Hedberg
,
The Very Best Of Comedian - Mitch Hedberg
humor
comedy
Stand-UP
Share
Crying: Acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon.
—
Ron Swanson
(Nick Offerman)
humor
Share
I can name a lot of things that taste better than skinny feels. Potatoes. Bread.
—
Jennifer Lawrence
,
In Depth: Jennifer Lawrence's Road to Oscar
eating
food
humor
Funny
Bread
Love Food
Yum
Share
Marriage isn't just between a man and a woman. It's between any two people who love each other and want to ruin their lives.
—
Emily Horne
and
Joey Comeau
,
A Softer World
humor
Share
It doesn't matter if the glass is half full or half empty. I am gonna drink it through this crazy straw!
—
Emily Horne
and
Joey Comeau
,
A Softer World
humor
Share
I like people with depth, I like people with emotion, I like people with a strong mind, an interesting mind, a twisted mind, and also someone that can make me smile.
—
Abbey Lee Kershaw
,
A quote by Abbey Lee Kershaw
emotions
Feelings
People
Depth
interesting
humor
Share
What a slut time is. She screws everybody.
—
John Green
,
The Fault in Our Stars
slut time
period
badass
Strong
humor
Share
One loses everything when one loses one’s sense of humor.
—
Ayn Rand
,
The Fountainhead
humor
Life
fun in life
Lightness
Share
Call me crazy, but I hope someday women have more rights than guns do.
—
Josh Gondelman
,
via twitter.com
Women's Rights
American Politics
Social Justice
humor
Sad But True
Share
Life’s disappointments are harder to take when you don’t know any swear words.
—
Bill Watterson
,
The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
Life
Mindset
Optimism
humor
Share
There are two kinds of people in this world: those who believe there are two kinds of people in this world and those who are smart enough to know better.
—
Tom Robbins
,
Still Life with Woodpecker
humor
People
Intelligence
Share
In a way life is really hard. You have to get back to silly at some point or life is even harder.
—
Judd Apatow
,
via twitter.com
humor
mental state
Mindset
Share
If you take away our cartoons, we'll grow up without a sense of humor and be robots.
—
Lisa Simpson
(Yeardley Smith)
,
The Simpsons
,
Season 2
:
Itchy & Scratchy & Marge
cartoons
Grow Up
Sense
humor
Robots
Share
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
—
Mitch Hedberg
,
Mitch Hedberg - Mitch All Together Complete
humor
Stand-UP
comedy
Share
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.
—
Mitch Hedberg
,
Mitch Hedberg - Mitch All Together Complete
humor
comedy
Stand-UP
Share
The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
—
Douglas Adams
,
The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
Life
The Universe
humor
Creation
Building the Earth
Share
I have never worn pantyhose but it sounds very dangerous.
—
Joe
(Hector Elizondo)
,
The Princess Diaries
humor
Pantyhose
dangerous
Share
I was on a airplane one time with Bruce Willis and Demi Moore and Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise. And all I could think was, "If this plane goes down, I'm not even gonna make the headlines."
—
Kevin Bacon
,
The six degrees: Kevin Bacon at TEDxMidwest
Six Degrees
Relationships
humor
Share
I’ve never been lonely. I like myself. I’m the best form of entertainment I have.
—
Charles Bukowski
,
Sunlight Here I Am: Interviews and Encounters, 1963-1993
Happiness
Self-Reliance
Self-Love
humor
Entertainment
Peace
Share
Trending Shows
Seinfeld
Supernatural
Criminal Minds
The Office
The Simpsons
South Park
Family Guy
American Dad!