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Joe Wengert

12 quotes

All awkward (3)Sex (2)humor (2)Questions (1)hair (1)Singer (1)virgin (1)train (1)Reality (1)explicit (1)fuzzy (1)Safe (1)Breaking Up (1)Misheard (1)humanity (1)

From “Am I Gay?”

She was your friend, then she was your lover, now she's your enemy.

Breaking Up Exes When It Goes Bad With Your Ex

From “I Survived Jessi's Bat Mitzvah”

Woody Allen was accused of molestation. He says he didn’t do it, but he did marry his stepdaughter. It is both very complicated and very simple.

Woody Allen Molestation Marry stepdaughter Complicated

From “Steve the Virgin”

I gotta be honest with you. I know I seem like a real gigolo, but actually I’m a little nervous because I’m a total virgin.

Gigolo Honesty virgin awkward Uncomfortable

Coach Steve: I feel kind of nervous, you know? I’m just a little fuzzy on the details. Hormone Monster: Come on, you got it baby. Coach Steve: I think I put my pener in her sweetie? Hormone Monster: That’s it, man! Your penner is a choo-choo train and her sweetie is a townie.

Nervous Details fuzzy Sex explicit

Jenna Bilzerian: Steve, do you ever get lonely? Coach Steve: Of course not. I remain lonely.

Lonely remain Sad pathetic humor

From “Smooch or Share”

Shame Wizard: You truly are an enigma. Coach Steve: You're not supposed to say that word anymore.

Enigma humor Misunderstanding awkward Misheard

From “Girls Are Angry Too”

Men are threatened by women who don't shy away from conflict.

Men Threat Women Conflict

From “Super Mouth”

Reality is only a construct.

Reality construct Life

From “The Funeral”

You're getting your hair pubed?

Questions Perm hair

You sing like a goddamn angel, and you got the heart of a champion.

angel Singer champion

My whole body is tense, like Joe Biden is whispering a dirty joke in my ear.

tense Joe Biden Dirty Joke

I gotta withhold my seed for the safety of mankind.

Seed Safe Mankind humanity

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