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Jemaine Clement Quotes

Total quotes: 15
“They would call me Nandor the relentless because I would never relent.”
— Nandor, What We Do in the Shadows, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Relentless, Unrelenting
“Deacon: I think we drink virgin blood because it sounds cool.

Vladislav: I think of it like this. If you are going to eat a sandwich, you would just enjoy it more if you knew no one had fucked it.”
— Deacon, What We Do in the Shadows
Tagged: Virgin Blood, Sandwich, Fuck
“Do you remember that first time we made love? It was so passionate, I accidentally cut off your head.”
— Nadja, What We Do in the Shadows, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Passionate, Lovemaking, Decapitation
“Are you just trying to get me to talk about myself? Because if you are... I will gladly do so.”
— Tamatoa (voice), Moana
Tagged: Self-Absorbed, Talking About Yourself
“It doesn't matter what country someone's from, or what they look like, or the color of their skin. It doesn't matter what they smell like, or that they spell words slightly differently... some would say, more correctly.”
— Jemaine Clement, Flight of the Conchords, Season 1: Drive By
Tagged: Race, skin color
“Can we be real? If my name was Sebastian and I had a cool Jamaican accent, you’d totally help me. You would, you know you would.”
— Tamatoa (voice), Moana
Tagged: The Little Mermaid, Disney Movies
“I’ll watch for you as best I can, but things get muddy out there in the vast subconscious. Remember, it’s not real unless you make it real.”
— Oliver Bird, Legion, Season 1: Chapter 4
Tagged: Subconscious, It's Real, You Have The Power
“Deacon: I think we drink virgin blood because it sounds cool.

Vladislav: I think of it like this. If you are going to eat a sandwich, you would just enjoy it more if you knew no one had fucked it.”
— Deacon, What We Do in the Shadows
Tagged: Virgin Blood, Sandwich, Fuck
“Guillermo is my familiar, but sometimes he's a little too familiar, you know what I mean? I mean, he's always just there.”
— Nandor, What We Do in the Shadows, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Vampie Familars
“The problem with living with other vampires are the vampires I have chosen to stay with.”
— Nadja, What We Do in the Shadows, Season 1: Episode 1
Tagged: Vampires
“Nandor is like a big turkey just walking around trying to control everything on the farm. And Laszlo is my big, crazy, wild bear and we love to chase each other around the house. We have a great time together.”
— Nadja, What We Do in the Shadows, Season 1: Pilot
“It's a glitter portrait. It's a portrait made from glitter.”
— Nandor, What We Do in the Shadows, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Glitter Portrait
“What are years? Just trips around the sun.”
— Oliver Bird, Legion, Season 2: Chapter 17
Tagged: years, Life, Life Philosophy
“This boy's grown some claws.”
— Laszlo Cravensworth, What We Do in the Shadows, Season 4: Reunited
Tagged: claws, Sassy
“Cashier: Did you just throw a coin at me?

Nandor: Yes.

Cashier: Sir, you can't be throwing ancient coins at me.

Nandor: Guillermo, stab this man.

Guillermo: He's joking.

Nandor: Stab him.

Guillermo: I tried, and...here you go, man.

Cashier: Thank you so much.

Nandor: [to Guillermo] You kind of disobeyed me just now. And I'm noting it.”
— Nandor, What We Do in the Shadows, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Stabbing, Coins, joking, Disobedience
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