Jeff Garlin Quotes

Total quotes (3)

Jeff Garlin

Jeff Garlin

Birthname

Birthday June 5, 1962

Nationality United States Of America

Occupations Television Actor, Film Actor, Podcaster, Singer, Stand-up Comedian

Characters Portrayed

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Total quotes (3)

Jeff: What's with the hat?

Larry: What? I'm married. I can wear whatever I want.

Jeff: It does look ridiculous. You look like you should be pulling a rickshaw of some sort.

— Jeff Greene (Jeff Garlin), Curb Your Enthusiasm, Season 5: The Korean Bookie

Hat married Ridiculous Simile Examples rickshaw

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If you're gonna be a maniac, pyro's not a good maniac.

— Jeff Greene (Jeff Garlin), Curb Your Enthusiasm, Season 1: The Wire

Maniac pyro not good

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We'll see who's powerless now!

— Captain (voice) (Jeff Garlin), WALL·E

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Related quotes to Jeff Garlin tagged Hat, Married

Sgt Howell: If you plan on getting wet this weekend, make sure you put on a hat. I don't want anyone coming back pissing cream.

Smitty Ryker: What, you don't want none for your coffee, Sarge?

— Smitty Ryker (Luke Bracey), Hacksaw Ridge

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I don't think there's a hat that could fit LuAnn's head.

— Herself, The Real Housewives of New York City, Season 9: It Girl, Interrupted

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[after finding a feathered hat in the cabin, Rosie looks fearful, but Bond tries to console her] Don't worry darling, it's just a hat, belonging to a small-headed man of limited means, who lost a fight with a chicken.

— Tom Mankiewicz, Live And Let Die

Hat Consolation

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What did the tie say to the hat? I’ll hang around, you go on ahead.

— Dominator281, What did the tie say to the hat?

Tie Hat hang Head

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What did the tie say to the hat?
You go on ahead, I'll just hang around.

— sleepis4thaweak, What did the tie say to the hat?

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It’s this stupid hat. I am telling you, it’s totally blowing my best feature.

— Steve Harrington (Joe Keery), Stranger Things, 3: Chapter One: Suzie, Do You Copy?

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Baby: Your tattoo says 'hat'?

JD: Yeah, it used to say 'hate'. But to increase my chances of employment I had the E removed.

Baby: How's that working out for you?

JD: Who doesn't like hats?

— J.D. (Lanny Joon), Baby Driver

Hat Employment Hate

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What did the bra say to the hat?
You go on ahead. I'll give these two a lift.

— Dankaay, What did the bra say to the hat?

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Burke: Roger you're making a big mistake.

Roger Cobb: Well if I am, then I'm prepared to live with it. You on the other hand, have to live with that hat.

— Roger Cobb (William Katt), House IV

mistake Hat Comebacks

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You don’t have to marry someone to be happy. You don’t have to get engaged. You don’t even have to find your forever person if you don’t want to.

— Lauren Jarvis-Gibson, To My Fellow Women, Life Isn’t Just About Finding Your Forever Person

married Engaged H4D-44

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I want to get married, have a family. But the world is no place for that anymore.

— Jordan Evans (James Wolk), Tell Me a Story, Season 1: Chapter 1: Hope

married Family World

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Richie: Arlene, we've only been going together for two weeks. It's not like we're married.

Arlene: Richie, one week is a crush. Two weeks is a commitment.

— Richie Cunningham (Ron Howard), Happy Days, Season 1: Breaking Up Is Hard to Do

Going Steady Commitment Crush married

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Harry Houdini: How about you? Do you ever think of getting married?

Adelaide Stratton: I make it a rule to never discuss my personal life with anyone hiding from their mother.

— Adelaide Stratton (Rebecca Liddiard), Houdini & Doyle, Season 1: Spring-Heel'd Jack

mother Immature married Future personal life Sassy Snarky

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I'm sorry for what I put you through. I'm sorry I've stopped being the man you married.

— David Budd (Richard Madden), Bodyguard, Season 1: Episode 6

Apologetic Sorry Man married

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Johnny: When I settle down, it's gonna be forever.

Shauna: Mmm. Weren't you married once already?

— Johnny "Drama" Chase (Kevin Dillon), Entourage, Season 1: Talk Show

married Settle Down Relationships Sassy Lines

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Well, because I just realized that everything I've been doing up to now, the bathing, the tooth brushing, changing of the socks, being nice to people, trying to succeed…it's all for nothing. All those things are designed to attract. Why should I be attractive? I'm married...with children.

— Al Bundy (Ed O'Neill), Married... with Children, Season 5: Do Ya Think I'm Sexy

Attraction Hopelessness married

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Married to the money, I ain't never let go

— Fetty Wap, Fetty Wap – Again

married Marriage Attachment Money Cash Wealth rich

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Is your partner single, in a monogamous relationship, an open relationship, married, or something in between? Find out. It’s totally up to you how you want to proceed, but you should at least have all of the info up front.

— Lara Rutherford-Morrison, 10 Things You Absolutely Must Know Before You Have Sex With Someone

Virgins relationship status Single married

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Single guys often dream about having a smart, beautiful, caring wife. So do most married men.

— Unknown, 30 Dirty Jokes About Love And Marriage That Are Kind Of Offensive (But Also Hilarious)

Single married Misery Marriage

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