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J. J. Philbin Quotes

Total quotes: 8
“My first crush was on a Batman cake, but my first sexual feelings were about teenage Simba because he was really hot, and i still actually find him hot...”
— Jessica "Jess" Day, New Girl, Season 4: The Last Wedding
Tagged: Middle School, Awkward First Crushes
“We're all in...all five of us out there together, in the wild, getting some strange, like a sex fist! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 of us together, make a fist: Schmidt, Nick, Coach, Winston, Jess, sex fist when you put them all together! Tearing our way through the reception! It's a metaphor for togetherness.”
— Jessica "Jess" Day, New Girl, Season 4: The Last Wedding
Tagged: That's What She Said, Awkward Humor, Sex Jokes
“I like getting older, I feel like I’m aging into my personality.”
— Nick Miller, New Girl, New Girl Season 2: Neighbors
Tagged: Aging, Personality, Growing Up
“Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably.”
— Nick Miller, New Girl, New Girl Season 2: Halloween
Tagged: Regrets, Mistakes, Memories
“Kids today, they're treated like morons. But not you two. I would share a foxhole with both of you, and that is the highest compliment I can give you.”
— Douglas Fogerty, Single Parents, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Moron, kids, Foxhole, Compliment
“Winston, you’ve been staring at this girl for 5 minutes. Please tell me you’re checking her out, otherwise you’re a serial killer. Which would explain a lot.”
— Schmidt, New Girl, New Girl Season 2: Fluffer
Tagged: staring, checking her out, serial killer
“What if he gets into an accident? What if he’s horribly disfigured, and I have to identify him, and all that remains are his private parts? I’m standing there, I’m saying, ‘Sorry, officer, I can’t help you, because no, I haven’t seen his penis.’ An then boom, he’s buried in an unmarked grave.”
— Schmidt, New Girl, New Girl Season 1: Naked
Tagged: accident, horribly, private parts, penis, unmarked grave
“Seth: My friend Ryan, he's really cool, okay? He's very anti-establishment. He enjoys sunset walks on the beach, punching people, and not smiling.

Alex: And that's how you see me?

Seth: Yeah. Only with less smiling.”
— Seth Cohen, The O.C., Season 2: The New Era
Tagged: Anti-Establishment, Sunset, beach, Punching, Violence, frowning, Grumpy, smiling, Witty
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