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J. Elvis Weinstein Quotes

Total quotes: 9
“Sam: What's non-alcoholic beer?

Bill: It's beer but without that ingredient that makes you drunk.

Neal: Alcohol?

Bill: Yeah.”
— Sam Weir, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Beers and Weirs
Tagged: Non-Alcoholic Beer, Alcohol
“I'm Jewish. That's no cakewalk either. Last year, I was elected school treasurer. I didn't even run!”
— Neal Schweiber, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Beers and Weirs
Tagged: Jewish, stereotypes, Cakewalk
“Why don't you go pick on someone your own size? There's a bus in the parking lot.”
— Frank Kowchevski, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Noshing and Moshing
Tagged: size, Parking Lot, Bus-Sized
“You know what punkers don't do? Call themselves punkers.”
— Jenna Zank, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Noshing and Moshing
Tagged: Punkers, Punk Rockers, Misnomer, Unhip
“Daniel Desario: What, so it's my fault that you left your stuff in my car?

Kim Kelly: No, it's your fault that you're the most unreliable person ever.

Daniel Desario: Well, you're certainly reliable, you're always a BITCH!”
— J. Elvis Weinstein, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Noshing and Moshing
Tagged: Bitch, Reliable, Unreliable
“Wow. That designated driver's pretty hot. I'd like to get her drunk.”
— Bill Haverchuck, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Beers and Weirs
Tagged: Designated Driver, Drunk, Hot
“Lindsay Weir: Dad, give me one good reason why there can't be a woman president.

Harold Weir: It's called three irrational days per month. Now, I would have no issue with the other twenty seven, but we're talking about the atomic bomb here.”
— Lindsay Weir, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Noshing and Moshing
Tagged: Woman President, Menstrual Cycle, period
“Harold: I guess you'd prefer we listen to that punk rock music I've been reading about. You know those Sex Pistols? They spit on their audience! Yep, that's what I wanna do. Spend my hard earned money to be spit on. Now that's entertainment...Elvis didn't expectorate on his fans.

Sam: No. But he died on the toilet.

Harold: Well, that's paradise compared to where the Sex Pistols are gonna end up.”
— Harold Weir, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Beers and Weirs
Tagged: Punk, punk rock, Sex PIstols, Elvis Presley, Paradise
“Sam Weir: What am I gonna say to Cindy?

Bill Haverchuck: Don't say anything. Be dominant. It's all, all about dominance. I saw this monkey show on PBS, if you talk to her first, it's a sign of weakness and she will not pick you to be her mate.

Sam Weir: Are you drunk?

Bill Haverchuck: I think so, yes I am.

Sam Weir: Aw, man, go into my room, lock the door, and don't drink any more.

Bill Haverchuck: [after Sam leaves] That's very dominant.”
— Bill Haverchuck, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Beers and Weirs
Tagged: dominant, Drunk, monkeys, PBS, Weakness
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