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Hilary Jacobs Hendel Quotes

Total quotes: 8
“Sometimes the best approach for a parent is to give children choices.”
— Hilary Jacobs Hendel, When Being a “Bad Guy” Leads To Good
Tagged: Parenting
“When relationships are strained, humor can diffuse a struggle and transform a moment from bad to better.”
— Hilary Jacobs Hendel, 5 Qualities To Look For In A Life Partner
Tagged: Dating, How To Stop A Fight, Riffs In Relationships
“The answer is touch. Hugs and other forms of nonsexual physical soothing, like hand-holding and head stroking, intervene at the physical level to help the brain and the body calm down from overwhelming states of anxiety, panic and shame.”
— Hilary Jacobs Hendel, The Healing Power of Hugs
Tagged: How To Feel Better!, Hugging Is The Answer, Importance of Touch
“Amazing scientific fact: The brain cannot tell the difference between fantasy and reality. For example, when I imagine I am running, evidence shows my brain reacting in large part as if I am actually running. This helps explain why using imagination and fantasy is a powerful tool for feeling better.”
— Hilary Jacobs Hendel, Start Fantasizing!
Tagged: Imagination, Fake It Until You Make It, Creating New Realities
“... There are basically two categories of emotions. There are core emotions, like anger, joy and sadness, which when experienced viscerally lead to a sense of relief and clarity (even if they are initially unpleasant). And there are inhibitory emotions, like shame, guilt and anxiety, which serve to block you from experiencing core emotions.”
— Hilary Jacobs Hendel, It's Not Always Depression, Sometimes It's Shame
Tagged: emotions, Understanding Your Feelings
“In the long run, we heal the parts of us that feel inadequate by first becoming aware of them. Once aware, we listen to them and try to fully understand the story of how they came to believe they were not enough. Over time, by naming, validating and processing the associated emotions both from the past and present, the frequency and intensity of our not enough parts diminishes.”
— Hilary Jacobs Hendel, The Feeling of Not Enough
Tagged: Healing, Overcoming Trauma
“Why do we lose touch with our core Selves? As children, we all have the job of adapting to our families, our peers, our communities and our culture. We sacrifice self-expression to stay in the good graces of those we need. This is essential for survival. But when we deny, thwart, or exclude too much of our authentic Selves to maintain our connection to others, we can fail to thrive.”
— Hilary Jacobs Hendel, Hilary Jacobs Hendel Author, Psychotherapist, The Change Triangle
Tagged: Who You Are, Find Your True Self
“We are not born feeling inadequate. Life experiences and emotions create that sense within us in a variety of creative ways. For example, when we were little and we felt afraid or anxious, our mind told us something was wrong with us, not with our environment. That's why children who were abused or neglected grow up to be adults who carry so much shame.”
— Hilary Jacobs Hendel, The Feeling of Not Enough
Tagged: Childhood, Psychology, Child Abuse, Adulthood
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