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Hank Moody Quotes

Total quotes: 33
“I guess I see myself as an enthusiast. A drug and alcohol enthusiast.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 6: Everybody's a Fucking Critic
Tagged: Californication
“Not to contradict your dear old mom, who’s both wicked smart and wonderful, but, no, we don’t have to be realistic. Not when it comes to love.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 1: Girls, Interrupted
Tagged: Californication
“You know what they say? Whatever doesn't kill us makes us even more annoying.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 5: The Way of the Fist
Tagged: Californication
“You have extremely moist lips. They're like kissable cupcakes. It's as if Sprinkles and Crumbs got together and made sweet love and had these delicious smoochable cupcake babies.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 5: The Way of the Fist
Tagged: Californication
“The person that I want to have everything to do with, wants nothing to do with me.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 6: The Dope Show
Tagged: Californication
“I probably won’t go down in history, but I will go down on your sister.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 1: Hell-A Woman
Tagged: Californication
“I see us becoming incredibly close. Great friends, eventually. After the part where you hate my guts for a long, cold winter.”
— Hank Moody, Californication: JFK to LAX
Tagged: Breaking Up, Guy Things, Hank Moody, Californication
“It’s a big, bad world full of twists and turns, and people have a way of blinking and missing the moment… the moment that could’ve changed everything.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 2: In Utero
Tagged: Californication
“It's just so hard to tell the difference between those that have a good heart and the ones that are just out there to win.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 5: The Way of the Fist
Tagged: Good People, Good Hearts
“It is possible that longing for something is better than actually having it. I’ve heard it said that satisfaction is the death of desire.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 3: The Land of Rape and Honey
Tagged: Californication
“You can’t snort a line of coke off a woman’s ass and not wonder about her dreams. It’s not gentlemanly.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 1: California Son
Tagged: Californication
“Everything is so fucking crazy right now. I don't feel like I can make the right move to save my life.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 7: 30 Minutes or Less
Tagged: Confusion, Crazy Life
“She was the best thing that ever happened to me, and I fucked it up again and again and again.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 7: Faith, Hope, Love
Tagged: Mistakes, Relationships & Dating, Sorry
“Nobody likes you. You’re ugly and your mother dresses you funny. Now smile, you fucking douche.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 1: Hell-A Woman
Tagged: Californication
“At the end of the day, it’s all about her. It’s always been about her.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 2: La Petite Mort
Tagged: Californication
“I can’t keep apologizing for something I can’t change. All I can do is keep moving forward and try to become someone that you can love again.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 4: Home Sweet Home
Tagged: Sorry, How To Say Your Sorry, How Many Times Can I Say I'm Sorry
“I’m just like my father. You know, there isn’t a woman that I’ve met that I haven’t fallen in love with for 10 minutes or 10 years.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 2: In Utero
Tagged: Californication
“She said one thing. I said another. Next thing I knew, I wanted to spend the rest of my life in the middle of that conversation.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 2: In Utero
Tagged: Californication
“Is this wrong? I can't tell anymore. I can't fucking tell anymore.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 7: Getting the Poison Out
Tagged: Ethics, Moral Compass, Right And Wrong
“You can’t blame everything on the economy, douche bag.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 3: Verities & Balderdash
Tagged: Californication
“The groom should not see you in the dress just before the wedding, that’s bad luck. You know what’s worst luck? Is getting married, itself. I’ve read studies. It’s like 2 out of 3 of those end in divorce, sometimes more. 3 out of 2, some.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 1: Turn the Page
Tagged: Californication
“A morning of awkwardness is better than a night of loneliness.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 1: Hell-A Woman
Tagged: One Night Stand, Casual Sex
“Friends don’t let friends bang each other’s soul mates.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 2: In Utero
Tagged: Californication
“Turns out it's really expensive to live in a hotel.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 4: Another Perfect Day
Tagged: Living In A Hotel, hotels
“I'm not challenging your sobriety but mocking it is kind of fun.”
— Hank Moody, The Party
Tagged: Mocking Sobriety, Californication, Hank Moody
“Rehab is for quitters.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 1: California Son
Tagged: Californication
“You know, most people, they go their whole life, and they never really find someone they love. They say they do because everybody’s the star of their own little romantic comedy, but they’re full of shit. You and me, we had women that loved us for who we were, really loved us for who we were, and we fucked it up. For what? Some stupid piece of ass we forgot about 10 minutes later?”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 1: The Devil's Threesome
Tagged: Californication
“I have squandered a lot of opportunities, it's true. I could give you a bunch of excuses. I could blame it on my masturbating agent or I could chalk it up to fear and self-loathing in Los Angeles, but the truth is that... I'm trying to grow the fuck up for once. You know, I'm on a quest to reclaim the best parts of myself before it's too fuckin' late.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 7: Levon
Tagged: Californication
“I miss your smell. When you left, I couldn’t wash the sheets because I didn’t want to lose that completely… You. And… it fucked me up for a long time because I would wake up and I’d smell you and I’d think you were there. And that would… My heart would break all over again. I think that’s why I go in for the kiss all the time. I know, yeah. I think I’m going for… another hit.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 1: Absinthe Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
Tagged: Californication
“Never really all that interested, but I find myself telling her how beautiful she is anyway. ’cause it’s true – all women are, in one way or another. You know, there’s always something about every damn one of you. There’s a smile, a curve, a secret. You ladies really are the most amazing creatures. My life’s work. But then there’s the morning after. The hangover, and the realization that I’m not quite as available as I thought I was the night before. And then she’s gone. And I’m haunted by yet another road not taken.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 3: Verities & Balderdash
Tagged: Californication
“It reminds me of when we first started dating and I would knock on your door and in the time between you answering, I would try to imagine what you were gonna look like. And when you did, you'd be, like, ten times more beautiful than I could ever imagine. And I'd get this funny feeling in my stomach because you'd look at me with all this hope in your eyes instead of disappointment, which is what I see now.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 4: Another Perfect Day
Tagged: Now vs. Then, We Used To Be In Love
“Just the fact that people seem to be getting dumber and dumber. I mean, we have all this amazing technology, and yet… computers have turned into basically four-figure wank machines. The internet was supposed to set us free, democratize us, but… But all it’s really given us is Howard Dean’s aborted candidacy and… 24-hour day access to kiddy porn. People… They don’t write anymore. They blog. Instead of talking, they text… No punctuation, no grammar, L.O.L. this and L.M.F.A.O. that. It just seems to me that it’s just a bunch of stupid people pseudo-communicating with a bunch of other stupid people in a protolanguage that resembles more what cavemen used to speak than the King’s English.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 1: LOL
Tagged: Californication
“As a writer, I'm a sucker for happy endings. The guy gets the girl, she saves him from himself, fade to fucking black. As a guy who loves a girl, I realize there's no such thing. There's no sunset. There's just now, and there's just the two of us, which can be scary fucking ugly sometimes. But if you close your eyes and listen for the whisper of your heart—if you simply keep trying and never ever give up, no matter how many times you get it wrong, until the beginning and the end blur into something called until we meet again -- and that's it.”
— Hank Moody, Homeland, Season 1: Grace
Tagged: Californication
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