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Fred Willard Quotes

Total quotes: 7
“You know it's funny—beer never seems to improve with age. Wine does, but beer doesn't. Did you never notice that? The older beer gets, the worse it gets.”
— Fred Willard, Fernwood 2 Night S01e07 Hearing Ear Dogs For The Deaf
Tagged: Beer, Wine, Aging, dumb
“Kids in the audience probably recognize me as Cowboy Willie on the Uncle Funnypants Show.”
— Fred Willard, Fernwood 2 Night S01e01 Talk To A Jew
Tagged: local TV
“He really doesn't understand the meaning of the word 'handicapped,' does he? Makes me embarrassed to be complaining about my rose fever.”
— Fred Willard, Fernwood 2 Night S01e01 Talk To A Jew
Tagged: Handicapped, rose fever
“We try to deal with problems that if left unattended might fester and swell and burst into some infected, pussy blister and ooze into the bloodstream of our community and make us sick.”
— Fred Willard, Fernwood 2 Night S01e02 Leisure Suits Cause Cancer
Tagged: Problems, fester, burst, Gross
“I'll bet you dimes to donuts that if Charles Manson were to drop dead today, Patty Krenwinkle wouldn't inherit a darned red cent.”
— Fred Willard, Fernwood 2 Night S01e05 Corporal Punishment 2
Tagged: dimes to donuts, charles manson, Patricia Krenwinkle, Manson Family
“Why, those lousy, no-good, rotten, stinking, commie pinko pigs.”
— Fred Willard, Fernwood 2 Night S01e04 Corporal Punishment 1
Tagged: anti-communist, commie, pinko
“Can I get you anything? A glass of water, a bowl of rice?”
— Fred Willard, Fernwood 2 Night S01e04 Corporal Punishment 1
Tagged: Microaggressions, stereotypes
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