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Fred Armisen Quotes

Total quotes: 33
“Does anyone have any Q-tips? Because I can't believe what I'm hearing.”
— Don Lentile, Documentary Now!, Season 1: The Eye Doesn't Lie
Tagged: Q-Tips, joke, Can't Believe It
“But let's take a look at these bananas. These are just natural, not yellow, you know, chemicals, not brought to you by Tide. It's just like a regular banana, and that's the simple life that we kind of forget about, you know?”
— Kyle Riley, Documentary Now!, Season 1: Dronez
Tagged: yellow, Natural, Chemicals, Simple Life
“Loving someone means muting their flaws for two to five years.”
— Andres, Los Espookys, Season 1: The Exorcism
Tagged: Loving, Mute, Flaws
“Every relationship needs a peacekeeper.”
— Oscar, Forever, Season 1: Another Place
Tagged: Love, Relationship, Peace, Peace Keeper
“There is no courage in offending unless you are also willing to offend those you love.”
— Dimo, Documentary Now!, Season 3: Waiting for the Artist
Tagged: Courage, Offending , Love, Offensive
“When guests come over, and, you know, they see a globe, they're gonna know immediately they're in the presence of somebody who's worldly.”
— Tom O'Halloran, Documentary Now!, Season 2: Globesman
Tagged: guests, Worldly, Presence
“I've seen spooky things and I've seen scary things, but nothing like this.”
— Tico, Los Espookys, Season 1: The Exorcism
Tagged: spooky, scary, crazy
“How are children out in this weather? Their parents should be put in jail.”
— Oscar, Forever, Season 1: Together Forever
Tagged: Children, Weather, Jail, cold
“We had some good times on that couch. Sorry, it sounded sexual. But I was most likely talking about when we played Uno.”
— Oscar, Forever, Season 1: The Lake House
Tagged: couch, sexual, Sex, Uno, Games
“Mayor: Hey, I just got back from Baltimore.

Various Characters: Great, that’s a great city.

Mayor: It’s a great city.”
— Mayor , Portlandia, Season 1: Baseball
Tagged: baltimore, obsequious
“You will not believe the number of people who hear a price like that and immediately try to Jew you down.”
— Tom O'Halloran, Documentary Now!, Season 2: Globesman
Tagged: Negotiation, Price
“Little Vivvy: I fell through the floor again.

Big Vivvy: It's because you stomp!”
— Big Vivvy, Documentary Now!, Season 1: Sandy Passage
Tagged: Stomp, House, Floors, fell
“The only thing is The Devil, unfortunately hasn't possessed any of the orphans.”
— Father Francesco, Los Espookys, Season 1: The Exorcism
Tagged: Orphans, Possession, devil
“My core goal as an artist is to deconstruct the idea of working, of effort because we are raised to believe that great works of art require suffering.”
— Dimo, Documentary Now!, Season 3: Waiting for the Artist
Tagged: goal, Art, Artist, Effort, Suffering, Work
“Portland's a city where young people go to retire.”
— Jason, Portlandia, Season 1: Farm
Tagged: Portland, Slackers
“What a journal should be is a document of misery.”
— Toni, Portlandia, Season 1: Baseball
Tagged: Journaling, Misery
“The coffee, every bean, is it your friend or enemy?”
— Arturo, Documentary Now!, Season 2: Juan Likes Rice and Chicken
Tagged: Coffee, ingredient, picky, Friend, Enemy
“You don't ruin a sale by pointing out mistakes!”
— Tom O'Halloran, Documentary Now!, Season 2: Globesman
Tagged: sale, upset, Mistakes
“You know I can't tolerate ugly things.”
— Juan Carlos, Los Espookys, Season 1: The Exorcism
Tagged: Tolerate, ugly, Rude
“Plus, you can light me on fire, if you want.”
— Tati, Los Espookys, Season 1: The Exorcism
Tagged: Fire, Light, Reckless
“No one can know what's inside it so I put question marks on it.”
— Tico, Los Espookys, Season 1: The Exorcism
Tagged: Question, Mystery, Inside
“I think you should do your own thing.”
— Tico, Los Espookys, Season 1: El sueno falso
Tagged: Own Thing , Independent, Free
“Oscar: Remember the time we were here and we saw all those butterflies?

June: Yeah that was really cool. Where do you think they were all going?

Oscar: Probably the Grand Canyon. That's where I would go if I could fly.”
— Oscar, Forever, Season 1: Together Forever
Tagged: Butterflies, travel
“Well, that's life. One minute you're a fan, the next you're not.”
— Tati, Los Espookys, Season 1: The Exorcism
Tagged: Life, fan, Lessons, Changes
“The Devil is out of me. I feel a lot better now.”
— Tati, Los Espookys, Season 1: The Exorcism
Tagged: devil, Left, better, casual, priest
“Put a bird on it!”
— Lance, Portlandia, Season 1: A Song for Portland
Tagged: put a bird on it, Cliches
“Since when did being called a beautiful genital become an insult?”
— Elliot Birch (voice), Big Mouth, My Furry Valentine: Girls Are Angry Too
Tagged: Questions, beauty, Genital
“Sex should be a mutually pleasurable activity. ”
— Elliot Birch, Big Mouth, Season 5: Sugarbush
Tagged: Sex, Pleasure, Advice
“Let's get burgers. I bet they're really terrible.”
— Oscar, Forever, Season 1: Together Forever
Tagged: Burgers, terrible, Gross
“I was always monogamous when I was with her.”
— Dimo, Documentary Now!, Season 3: Waiting for the Artist
Tagged: Monogomy, Love, Relationships, Infidelity, Cheating
“What I wouldn't do for a nice old lady.”
— Tom O'Halloran, Documentary Now!, Season 2: Globesman
Tagged: Sales, Nice, Old Lady, Money, sweet
“Exorcisms are on the decline.”
— Father Francesco, Los Espookys, Season 1: The Exorcism
Tagged: Exorcism, decline, devil
“I have an H and a G and all that's missing is U.”
— Elliot Birch (voice), Big Mouth, Season 3: The ASSes
Tagged: Hug, Love, Cute
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