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Frasier Crane Quotes

Total quotes: 20
“What we need is a good opening sentence. Something that will smack the reader right between the eyes, and then take him on a virtual roller-coaster ride of self-awareness and discovery.”
— Frasier Crane, Frasier, Season 1: Author, Author
Tagged: Good, opening sentence, Personification Examples, Reader, Self-awareness, Discovery
“Niles: Can you tell me, with any certainty, that in such a vast universe there isn't intelligent life on other planets?

Frasier: At the moment, I'm not sure there's intelligent life in this kitchen.”
— Frasier Crane, Frasier, Season 2: The Candidate
Tagged: Certainty, Vast, Universe, intelligent life, planets, Sassy, kitchen
“There's nothing wrong with Maris that wouldn't be cured by a little sun, some exercise and a personality.”
— Frasier Crane, Frasier, Season 2: Burying a Grudge
Tagged: nothing wrong, cured, Sun, Exercise, Personality, Diss
“Martin: One minute it's just a blob in some lady's stomach, the next minute it's a person. Blob... Person.

Frasier: The miracle of birth, summed up in one poetic phrase.”
— Frasier Crane, Frasier, Season 2: Flour Child
Tagged: blob, pregnant, Person, miracle of birth, Sarcasm Quotes, Poetic
“I'm a humane man, but right now I could kick a kitten through an electric fan.”
— Frasier Crane, Frasier, Season 2: Fool Me Once, Shame On You...
Tagged: Humane, kick, kitten, electric fan, angry
“Hey, I'm with you. I hate the way those whiny sick people are always nagging you for things. 'I want a magazine!' 'I want a kidney!'”
— Frasier Crane, Frasier, Season 2: The Botched Language of the Cranes
Tagged: Hate, Sick, Whiny, nagging, Magazine, kidney
“Not one more deceitful word... your tongue could open a wine bottle!”
— Frasier Crane, Frasier, Season 4: Roz's Turn
Tagged: Deceitful, Word, Metaphor Examples, tongue, wine bottle
“You see, I was clinging to a life that wasn't working, and I knew I had to do something, anything.”
— Frasier Crane, Frasier, Season 1: The Good Son
Tagged: Clinging, Life, Working, anything
“My God, it's a recipe for disaster! You've got a vulnerable woman and an unstable man in a Gothic mansion on a rainy night! The only thing missing is someone shouting 'Heathcliff!' across the moors!”
— Frasier Crane, Frasier, Season 1: A Midwinter Night's Dream
Tagged: recipe for disaster, Vulnerable, Unstable, Gothic Mansion, moors, heathcliff
“You're not a child any more. Now come with me: I'm taking you to the bathroom!”
— Frasier Crane, Frasier, Season 2: Seat of Power
Tagged: Child, contradictory, bathroom, leading
“Dr. Frasier Crane: Niles, I'm 41. That's hardly middle-aged. Middle age is more like 50, 55.

Dr. Niles Crane: Only if you live to be 110.”
— Frasier Crane, Frasier, Season 1: Fortysomething
Tagged: Getting Old, Middle Age, Age
“My God, woman, I'd drive a stake through your heart but I don't think anything could kill you!”
— Frasier Crane, Frasier, Season 2: Adventures in Paradise
Tagged: stake, heart, Kill, Death, Evil
“I'm basically your stuffy, buttoned down sort of guy, you're a free-spirited, adventurous mouse-painting, moon-howling sort of girl!”
— Frasier Crane, Frasier, Season 5: Frasier Gotta Have It
Tagged: stuffy, buttoned down, Guy, Breaking Up
“My God, I've never had a night like this in my entire life! I'm a babe magnet, I'm catnip!”
— Frasier Crane, Frasier, Season 4: Three Dates and a Breakup
Tagged: Night, entire life, babe magnet, catnip, Excited
“Frasier: I just don't think it's very smart to make rude gestures at other drivers.

Martin: He cut you off!

Frasier: That doesn't matter. You do not antagonize a man whose bumper sticker says: 'If you're close enough to read this, I'll kill you!'”
— Frasier Crane, Frasier, Season 1: Dinner at Eight
Tagged: Smart, Rude, drivers, antagonize, bumper sticker, Death
“Niles, will you please stop giggling? It's very distracting.”
— Frasier Crane, Frasier, Season 2: You Scratch My Book...
Tagged: giggling, distracting, Rude, Laughing
“Sam: She's a terrific person. She's smart, she's funny, she's horny. I mean, she's just the kinda chick you wanna stick up on a pedestal.

Frasier: You know, Sam, it's always amazed me how you can elevate and demean in the same sentence.”
— Frasier Crane, Frasier, Season 2: The Show Where Sam Shows Up
Tagged: terrific, Smart, Funny, Horny, Pedestal, elevate, demean
“Life is a banquet!”
— Frasier Crane, Frasier, Season 2: Retirement Is Murder
Tagged: Life, plentiful, Banquet, Metaphor Examples
“Roz: Well, I think hugging is very healthy. I read somewhere that if you have physical contact on a regular basis, it can actually extend your life.

Frasier: Well, in that case you should outlive Styrofoam!”
— Frasier Crane, Frasier, Season 4: Daphne Hates Sherry
Tagged: Hugging, healthy, physical contact, Life, Sassy, styrofoam
“Frasier: I asked Dad to get me a bran muffin. You know what he said to me? 'What's the magic word?'

Niles: You're kidding.

Frasier: He didn't think it was very amusing when I said, 'Rest home!'”
— Frasier Crane, Frasier, Season 1: My Coffee with Niles
Tagged: Bran muffin, magic word, Kidding, amusing, rest home, Sassy
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