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Ellie Kemper Quotes

Total quotes: 11
“Xanthippe Voorhees: Hey, Kimmy, 1996 called. It wants its clothes back.

Kimmy Schmidt: Hey, Xan, 2090 called. You're dead and you wasted your time on earth.”
— Kimmy Schmidt, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Season 1: Kimmy Goes to a Party!
Tagged: 1996, 2090, Clothes, trends, Outdated
“Randy: Hey! What did I tell you about using sarcasm, little lady?

Kimmi: [boredly looking at her phone] That you don't know how to use it.

Randy: Exactly!”
— Kimmy Schmidt, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Season 1: Kimmy Has a Birthday!
Tagged: Sarcasm, insults
“Don't worry about me. I'm like a biscotti. People act like I'm this sweet cookie, but I'm really this super hard thing that nobody knows what I am or why I am.”
— Kimmy Schmidt, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Season 2: Kimmy Gives Up!
Tagged: biscotti, Cookies, Mystery
“Robert California: That is very cold.

Erin Hannon: Yea, that is old. I asked if you wanted a cold beverage, and you said coffee.”
— Erin Hannon, The Office, Season 8: The Incentive
Tagged: Coffee, Cold Beverage, Misunderstanding, Gross, humor
“Titus Andromedon: That boy is gay.

Kimmy Schmidt: He's not gay. Gay hasn't even gotten to Indiana yet. There are rumors about Ohio.”
— Kimmy Schmidt, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Season 1: Kimmy Kisses a Boy!
Tagged: gay, indiana, Midwest
“Kimmy Schmidt: You look bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

Jacqueline Voorhees: No, I got that lasered off.”
— Kimmy Schmidt, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Season 1: Kimmy Rides a Bike!
Tagged: bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, laser hair removal
“I haven't had so much fun since seeing Zooey Deschannel at the Coacharilla music festival.”
— Erin Hannon, The Office, Season 8: Test the Store
Tagged: Fun, Zooey Deschanel, Music, festival, Coachella
“Erin Hannon: Why don't you like him?

Michael Scott: What is there to like? He's just... he's a weird little skeevy guy with no waist. Why do you care whether we like him or not?

Erin Hannon: I care if you like him.”
— Erin Hannon, The Office, Season 7: Viewing Party
Tagged: sweet moments, Skeevy, Father Figure, Dating, Cute
“All burps smell bad. They're the farts of the face.”
— Kimmy Schmidt, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Season 2: Kimmy Meets a Drunk Lady!
Tagged: burps, Farts
“Someone just put the 'neato' in incognito!”
— Kimmy Schmidt, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Season 2: Kimmy Sees a Sunset!
Tagged: Neato, Incognito
“Xanthippe Voorhees: You don't have a cell phone?

Kimmy Schmidt: Well I had a cell phone, Xan. Obvs. But I lost it. At the zoo. A monkey took it and she wouldn't give it back. Yeah, Xan. The monkey was a woman. Women can be anything these days.”
— Kimmy Schmidt, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Season 1: Kimmy Goes on a Date!
Tagged: cell phone, Monkey, Women, empowerment
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