People
Douglas Stone

Douglas Stone Quotes

Total quotes: 3

Douglas Stone

Birthname

Total quotes: 3

“Certainty locks us out of their story; curiosity lets us in.”

— Douglas Stone, Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most

Tagged: Against Certainity, Empathy

“Instead of asking yourself, 'How can they think that?!' ask yourself, 'I wonder what information they have that I don’t?' Instead of asking, 'How can they be so irrational?' ask, 'How might they see the world such that their view makes sense?'”

— Douglas Stone, Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most

Tagged: Curiosity, Empathy, In Praise of Moderation, Dealing With Difficult People, Be Moderate

“A particularly problematic form of avoiding is complaining to a third party instead of to the person with whom you’re upset. It makes you feel better, but puts the third party in the middle with no good way to help. They can’t speak for you, and if they try, the other person may get the idea that the problem is so terrible that you can’t discuss it directly. On the other hand, if they keep quiet, the third party is burdened with only your partisan and incomplete version of the story.”

— Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen, Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most

Tagged: Complaining, Venting

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