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David Sedaris

24 quotesEssayist · Born Dec 26, 1956 · United States Of America · Male

David Raymond Sedaris (born December 26, 1956) is an American humorist, comedian, author, and radio contributor. He was publicly recognized in 1992 when National Public Radio broadcast his essay "SantaLand Diaries". He published his first collection of essays and short stories, Barrel Fever, in 1994. His next five essay collections, Naked (1997), Holidays on Ice (1997), Me Talk Pretty One Day (2000), Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim (2004), and When You Are Engulfed in Flames (2008), became New York Times Best Sellers. In 2010, he released a collection of stories, Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A Modest Bestiary. In 2013, Sedaris released his latest collection of essays, Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls. Much of Sedaris' humor is ostensibly autobiographical and self-deprecating, and often concerns his family life, his middle-class upbringing in the suburbs of Raleigh, North Carolina, his Greek heritage, homosexuality, jobs, education, drug use, and obsessive behaviors, and his life in France, London, and the English South Downs. 2Early life Sedaris was born in Johnson City, New York, the son of Sharon Elizabeth (née Leonard) and Louis Harry "Lou" Sedaris, an IBM engineer. He grew up in Raleigh, North Carolina. His father is of Greek descent, while his mother is Anglo-America

All Love (4)Alcohol (2)Words (2)Truth (2)Change (2)Writing (2)Drugs (2)Honesty (1)sympathy (1)Growing Up (1)dangerous (1)smoking (1)humanity (1)idea (1)Architecture Of Happiness (1)

From “Barrel Fever ”

If you're looking for sympathy you'll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.

Real Talk Harsh Honesty humor

From “Me Talk Pretty One Day”

I was just struggling with my inner vachette and pondering the depths of my own inhumanity.

Conscience Guilt humanity

I find it ridiculous to assign a gender to an inanimate object incapable of disrobing and making an occasional fool of itself.

Object gender Language Words

At the end of a miserable day, instead of grieving my virtual nothing, I can always look at my loaded wastepaper basket and tell myself that if I failed, at least I took a few trees down with me.

Writing Failing Miserable

After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of these things are dangerous, but in combination they have the potential to destroy entire civilizations.

Drugs Meth Art Conceptual Art dangerous

When shit brings you down, just say 'fuck it', and eat yourself some motherfucking candy.

Encouraging Words When Things Get Tough

Life might be difficult for a while, but I would tough it out because living in a foreign country is one of those things that everyone should try at least once. My understanding was that it completed a person, sanding down the rough provincial edges and transforming you into a citizen of the world.

travel Homesickness Love Life Is A Journey Architecture Of Happiness

From “Writer’s Digest, October 2013, Volume 93, No. 7”

Write relentlessly, until you find your voice. Then, use it.

Writing Writing Advice Writing Tips

From “Barrel Fever”

I just looked at the pattern of my life, decided I didn't like it, and changed.

Life Pattern Change

If you're looking for sympathy you'll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.

sympathy Dictatorship

From “When You Are Engulfed in Flames”

Given enough time, I guess anything can look good. All it has to do is survive.

Time Patience Survival

This was the consequence of seeing too much and understanding the horrible truth: No one is safe. The world is not manageable.

Consequence Truth World No one is safe

High school taught me a valuable lesson about glasses: Don't wear them. Contacts have always seemed like too much work, so instead I just squint, figuring that if something is more than ten feet away, I'll just deal with it when I get there.

glasses Contact Lens high school

Most people would have found it grotesque, but when you're in love nothing is so abstract or horrible that it can't be thought of as cute.

Love Falling In Love

This left me alone to solve the coffee problem - a sort of catch-22, as in order to think straight I need caffeine, and in order to make that happen I need to think straight.

Coffee coffee problem Thinking Ahead

Sometimes the sins you haven't committed are all you have left to hold onto.

sins Holding On

From “Naked”

College is the best thing that can ever happen to you," my father used to say, and he was right, for it was there that I discovered drugs, drinking, and smoking..

College Discoveries Drugs Alcohol smoking

Every gathering has its moment. As an adult, I distract myself by trying to identify it, dreading the inevitable downswing that is sure to follow. The guests will repeat themselves one too many times, or you'll run out of dope or liquor and realize that it was all you ever had in common.

Gathering Alcohol Friends socializing

I haven't the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out.

idea Change Changing People

From “Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls”

Their house had real hard-cover books in it, and you often saw them lying open on the sofa, the words still warm from being read.

Books Reading library Words

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