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David Herman Quotes

Total quotes: 6
“Kevin: I failed you, dad. I should hand in my badge, ... and my crossing guard uniform.

Randall: Kevin! Why the hell would I want those!?”
— Kevin Crawford, Paradise PD, Season 1: Ass on the Line
Tagged: Failure, badge, crossing guard, Uniform, Hell
“PC LOAD LETTER? What the fuck does that mean?”
— Michael Bolton, Office Space
Tagged: Fuck, techspeak
“Cockgobblers!”
— Michael Bolton, Office Space
Tagged: cockgobblers
“That thing's lucky I'm not armed.”
— Michael Bolton, Office Space
Tagged: man against machine, Frustration
“Peter Gibbons: Our high school guidance counselor used to ask us what you would do if you had a million dollars and didn't have to work. And invariably, whatever you'd say, that was supposed to be your career. So if you wanted to fix old cars, then you're supposed to be an auto mechanic.

Samir Nagheenanajar: So what did you say?

Peter Gibbons: I never had an answer. I guess that's why I'm working at Initech.

Michael Bolton: No, you're working at Initech 'cause that question is bullshit to begin with. If that quiz worked, there would be no janitors, because no one would clean shit up if they had a million dollars.

Samir Nagheenanajar: You know what I would do if I had a million dollars? I would invest half of it in mutual funds and then take the other half over to my friend Sadulach who works in Securities.

Michael Bolton: Samir. Samir, you're missing the point. The point of the exercise is that you're supposed to figure out what you would want to do.”
— Michael Bolton, Office Space
Tagged: Careers, Frustration, mutual funds
“Female Temp: Michael...Bolton?

Michael Bolton: Yeah, that's me.

Female Temp: Wow! Is that your real name?

Michael Bolton: Yeah.

Female Temp: So are you related to that singer guy?

Michael Bolton: No. It's just a coincidence.

Female Temp: [visibly disappointed] Oh.

Samir Nagheenanajar: No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It..it's not that hard. Na-ghee-na-na-jar...Nagheenanajar.

Michael Bolton: Well, at least your name isn't Michael Bolton.

Samir Nagheenanajar: You know, there is nothing wrong with that name.

Michael Bolton: No, there was nothing wrong with it, until I was about 12 years old and that no talent ass-clown became famous and started winning Grammys.

Samir Nagheenanajar: Why don't you just go by Mike instead of Michael?

Michael Bolton: No way, why should I change? He's the one who sucks.”
— Michael Bolton, Office Space
Tagged: michael bolton, sharing a name with a famous person
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