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Danny DeVito Quotes

Total quotes: 52
“Dennis, if I was looking for safe I wouldn't be sticking my dick through a wall.”
— Frank Reynolds, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 4: Mac and Charlie Die
Tagged: Risk, Not Safe, Walls
“When we get out of this, I'm gonna shove my fist right into your ass, hard and fast...Not in the sexual way! In the 'I am pissed off' sort of way.”
— Frank Reynolds, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 3: The Gang Gets Held Hostage
Tagged: angry, Frustrated, Pissed
“I think of all the characters that I've ever played, they're always about five feet tall.”
— Danny DeVito, Danny DeVito, the scene-stealer
Tagged: Height
“Dennis: Okay you want me to read the script?

Charlie: Yes. And action.

Dennis: I'll read the words you wrote. 'Hello fellow American. This you should vote me. I leave power. Good. Thank you. Thank you. If you vote me, I'm hot.' What? 'Taxes, they'll be lower. Son. The Democratic vote for me is right thing to do Philadelphia. So do.' This doesn't make any sense!”
— Dennis Reynolds, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 2: The Gang Runs for Office
Tagged: Office, elections, Speeches, Script
“Ari Frankel: Just go get the dog.

Frank: I don't have the dog.

Ari Frankel: So you've been in here tearing apart pillows and... pooping... on the floor?

Frank: Yes.”
— Frank Reynolds, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 2: The Gang Goes Jihad
Tagged: dog, Hiding, Lies, Poop
“I think Taxi is one of the seminal, great shows that was ever made on television. I mean the story and those characters, that's what makes a great show—it's the characters. And I always fell in love with the characters.”
— Danny DeVito, Danny DeVito
Tagged: Taxi
“Dennis: Frank, we don't need the chainsaw. Is that what's in that bag?

Frank: Oh, we do...because drawing a confession out of someone is like doing a beautiful dance...a beautiful dance with a chainsaw.”
— Frank Reynolds, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 3: Mac Is a Serial Killer
Tagged: Chainsaw, Confessions, dance, Threat
“Dennis: Name a Philadelphia celebrity you would like to have a drink with.

Dee: Bill Cosby.

Frank: The cards are a little outdated.”
— Frank Reynolds, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 11: Chardee MacDennis 2
Tagged: celebrity, Bill Cosby, Outdated
“See, here's the thing about losing the deal. What it's really about is having an ejaculation while you're with somebody. That's what you're looking for. Cumming in your pants, right? So the first time that happened? Ten, 11.”
— Danny DeVito, Danny DeVito, National Teasure, on Sex, Drugs and Family
Tagged: Virginity, ejaculation
“People would say to me, 'Why don't you do Broadway?' and my big joke was, nah, the dressing rooms are too small.”
— Danny DeVito, Danny DeVito: 'It all worked out for me. Life is good'
Tagged: broadway, Height
“Frank: Hey! I killed a deer, I should get to eat it. That's the natural order.

Mac: Wait, you shot a deer?

Frank: That's right! A ten point buck!”
— Frank Reynolds, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 4: Mac and Dennis
Tagged: Deer, shot, Natural Order, food
“ I stole a bunch of guns! I'm testing them out, Charles! This revolution is gonna make us a fortune!”
— Frank Reynolds, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 4: The Gang Cracks the Liberty Bell
Tagged: Guns, Stealing, Revolution, rich
“Frank: There is nothing more threatening to a man than a woman who is smart and attractive. We have to pretend you're both!

Dee: Wow, That's my dad everyone!”
— Frank Reynolds, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 2: The Gang Runs for Office
Tagged: Smart, Attractive, Women, Men, Rude
“Oh whoops, ooh! I dropped my monster condom that I use for my magnum dong!”
— Frank Reynolds, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 5: The D.E.N.N.I.S. System
Tagged: condom, Dongs, Oops, accident, Showing Off
“I don't think I've been bored ever. I've always been working on two or three things at a time; whether it was in the early days, or whatever, I was always working on something.”
— Danny DeVito, Danny DeVito: 'It all worked out for me. Life is good'
Tagged: Boredom
“Frank: See, I would have gone in and bought a box of magnum condoms, thus demonstrating I have a monster dong.

Dennis: Right, that comes off a little bit desperate, Frank.”
— Frank Reynolds, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 5: The D.E.N.N.I.S. System
Tagged: condoms, Dong, Desperate
“I’m remarkably proud of the ideas and everything we’ve had to say. The jokes are always on the characters themselves, but I do get upset about little things like camera angles when I watch the old episodes.”
— Danny DeVito, Danny DeVito Has Never Said No To Anything On It’s Always Sunny
Tagged: Jokes, It's Always Sunny
“So the Wendy's manager was like 'You gotta clean dat up!' and I was like they're your hamburgers you clean them up. Artemis was all bummed out about something I did to myself with the onions and now she won't talk to me.”
— Frank Reynolds, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 5: The Waitress Is Getting Married
Tagged: Clean Up, Gross, Onions, upset
“I like a good banana peel, I like all of that. I was raised on the Marx Brothers and the Three Stooges, which is a little cruel. It's kind of like, in a way, dark.”
— Danny DeVito, Danny DeVito, the scene-stealer
Tagged: Marx Brothers, Three Stooges, Slapstick, Dark Humor
“Wherever I am, it's a really good feeling to have that connection to people. I love to go out to talk to people and be with folks. I don't shy away from it.”
— Danny DeVito, Danny DeVito: 'It all worked out for me. Life is good'
Tagged: Connection, Gregarious, shyness
“The thing about being in Jersey, and growing up with Louie Scalpatti and Sal Buradesco and Nicky Eddio and guys like that, anybody's gonna bully you they're in trouble. Nobody's gonna bully you, because you got your posse….I had my posse big time. And emotionally, my posse was my family: My mother, my father, my sisters.”
— Danny DeVito, Danny DeVito, the scene-stealer
Tagged: New Jersey, bullying, Family, Posse
“Masturbating Bums are bad for Business.”
— Frank Reynolds, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 3: Bums
Tagged: Bums, masturbation, Business
“We pretty much do everything; find babies in dumpsters, crawl out of couches naked, I’ve been slimed, fallen out of windows, I lose my memory, lose my mind—I don’t know, do drugs, have crazy sex with Artemis, anything. I live vicariously through Frank.”
— Danny DeVito, Danny DeVito | The Talks
Tagged: It's Always Sunny, Dumpster Babies, Drugs
“I don't think it's only Hollywood, I think it's just generally speaking. Most men somewhere in their psyche are still dragging women around by their hair. It's terrible. I have two daughters, but even before my kids were born I always thought that it was terrible.”
— Danny DeVito, Danny DeVito: 'It all worked out for me. Life is good'
Tagged: Hollywood, Sexism, Cavemen
“We set the building on fire, you just happened to catch on fire!”
— Frank Reynolds, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 3: Frank Sets Sweet Dee On Fire
Tagged: Fire, Building, Burnt
“You just throw the dice and you get lucky. And I surround myself with smart folks—usually young smart folks. It's good to be thought of in a good light, to have a little bit of clout, but you can't carry the ball all by yourself. You need a team.”
— Danny DeVito, Danny DeVito: 'It all worked out for me. Life is good'
Tagged: Teamwork, Luck
“Fill me up with cream. Turn me into cannoli.”
— Frank Reynolds, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 7: Frank Reynolds' Little Beauties
Tagged: Cannoli, cream, Gross
“My mom's got lots of notes. She's a symphony.”
— Ronald "Mac" McDonald, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 12: Old Lady House
Tagged: notes, metaphor example, Symphony
“Having those other people laugh tells me when I should laugh.”
— Frank Reynolds, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 12: The Gang Turns Black
Tagged: Laughing, Cue, Timing
“The acid's makin' me feel like I gotta take a dump.”
— Frank Reynolds, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 3: The Gang Gets Invincible
Tagged: Drugs, Poop, Acid
“If it’s true journalism, you shouldn’t be paying for it.”
— Danny DeVito, We chat with Danny DeVito on the set of 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia'
Tagged: Journalism
“One of my good friends wound up dying in prison. And this wasn't an uncommon thing. It's like a neighbourhood you could have in London or anywhere in the world—anywhere where there's a concentrated amount of easy stuff to get into.”
— Danny DeVito, Danny DeVito: 'It all worked out for me. Life is good'
Tagged: Ghetto, Prison, London
“I just don't think equality is there at all. And it's not only women. It's inequality for young people, old people, women, minorities—there's no balance. We're seeing that in the world. People feeling that there's an incredible lack of genuine fairness.”
— Danny DeVito, Danny DeVito: 'It all worked out for me. Life is good'
Tagged: Fairness, Equality, Balance, Minorities
“I only have hair around the sides of my head, but I do let it down.”
— Danny DeVito, Danny DeVito Talks About Loving The Small Screen
Tagged: Baldness, Letting Your Hair Down
“I will make it work because I'm a genius.”
— Dennis Reynolds, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 12: Old Lady House
Tagged: Make it Work , Genius, Creative
“I have such a good life. I may be worried about, you know, are my feet dry? Should I put some more cream on my legs? This is, like, my big problem. So, yeah, I am self-centered. It's like, 'Here I am!' Me, me, me, me, me, basically—bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. I was coming down the street the other day and saw a possum. Who the fuck cares about it? I want to tell you what happened to me!”
— Danny DeVito, Danny DeVito, National Teasure, on Sex, Drugs and Family
Tagged: self-centered, Solipsism
“My father had a drinking problem and was sick in that way. It's why I constantly look around to make sure everything is all right. When I was a kid, family-wise, you always want everything to be smooth and easy. Calm. And my father was a sweet man during the day. But as soon as he had a drink, he went off the deep end. I felt vulnerable. And so, yeah, get out of the house.”
— Danny DeVito, Danny DeVito, National Teasure, on Sex, Drugs and Family
Tagged: Alcoholism, Family
“Why not? A line of coke? What's the matter? Look at what I'm doing to myself with a cup of coffee and a Diet Coke. I'm ashamed of myself. But if you knew it was good, you'd do a little bit. I wouldn't make a habit of it. But it's so beautiful. It's so wonderful that you don't want to pass it up. I mean, if somebody had some good acid, too. But, yeah, the bump. I would do it. Why not?”
— Danny DeVito, Danny DeVito, National Teasure, on Sex, Drugs and Family
Tagged: Diet Coke, Cocaine, LSD
“My parents worked their tails off, but we weren't the poorest people in town. Some people I went to school with, you could tell they were dirt poor. What we were doing in those days were stolen pharmaceuticals. Though you could be tempted with heroin, I wasn't. And it was mainly heroin then, there wasn't crack or anything when I was a kid. You went straight to skin-popping and mainlining.”
— Danny DeVito, Danny DeVito: 'It all worked out for me. Life is good'
Tagged: Working Class, Poverty, Heroin, Crack Cocaine
“If something good happens to me, I embrace it and let it go. If something bad happens to me, I embrace it and let it go. You have to. It's like something the Dalai Lama once said—that whole philosophy of going into the mouth of the dragon—facing who you are. Most of us are insecure and the other portion of the world are assholes. So, you can be insecure—so long as you're not an asshole!”
— Danny DeVito, Danny DeVito: 'It all worked out for me. Life is good'
Tagged: Dalai Lama, Insecure, asshole, Letting Go
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