1. People
    2.  › 
  2. Dan O'Keeffe

Dan O'Keeffe Quotes

Total quotes: 15
“We don’t know how long this will last. They are a very festive people.”
— Elaine Benes, Seinfeld, Season 9: The Puerto Rican Day
Tagged: Puerto Ricans, Festive
“Mr. Peterman: Elaine, can you keep a secret?

Elaine: No sir, I can’t.”
— J. Peterman, Seinfeld, Season 9: The Frogger
Tagged: Candor, Secrets
“There is no bigger loser than me!”
— George Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 9: The Strike
Tagged: Biggest Loser, Self-deprecation
“Frank Costanza: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon, I realized there had to be another way.

Kramer: What happened to the doll?

Frank Costanza: It was destroyed. But out of that, a new holiday was born. A FESTIVUS FOR THE REST-OF-US.”
— Frank Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 9: The Strike
Tagged: Christmas, Christmas Shopping, Festivus
“Do you know what day this is? Because I know what day this is, they know what day this is, so I was wondering if you know what day this is!”
— Bob, Seinfeld, Season 9: The Puerto Rican Day
Tagged: Puerto Rican Day, Thugs, Threats
“Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reach for the last one they had—but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way!”
— Frank Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 9: The Strike
Tagged: Christmas, Festivus, Materialism, Violence
“Jerry, I know myself. If I'm out on the street and it starts to go down, I don't back off until it's finished.”
— Cosmo Kramer, Seinfeld, Season 9: The Blood
Tagged: Blood, Street Fights, Combativeness
“I refuse to give up on this relationship. It's like launching missiles from a submarine. Both of us have to turn our keys.”
— Maura, Seinfeld, Season 9: The Strong Box
Tagged: Breakups, Stubbornness, Two to Tango
“I have spent a lot of time, and I have eaten a lot of crap to get to where I am today. And I am NOT throwing it all away now.”
— Elaine Benes, Seinfeld, Season 9: The Strike
Tagged: eating, Incentives, Sub Sandwiches
“Jerry, you have tendencies. They're always annoying, but they were just tendencies. But now, if you can't kiss this girl, I'm afraid we're talking disorder.”
— Elaine Benes, Seinfeld, Season 8: The Pothole
Tagged: Germophobia, ocd, Tendencies, Psychological Disorders
“I think I could be a philanthropist. a kick-ass philanthropist! I would have all this money and people would love me. Then they would come to me and beg! And if I felt like it, I would help them out. And then they would owe me big time!”
— George Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 9: The Strike
Tagged: Philanthropy, charity, Beggars, Wealth, Power
“What is nice? Trying to fill the void in your life with flour and sugar and egg and vanilla? I mean, we are all unhappy. Do we have to be fat, too? Not you, Becky; I know you have a slow metabolism. I don't want one more piece of cake in my office!”
— Elaine Benes, Seinfeld, Season 9: The Frogger
Tagged: Gluttony, Sweets, Cake, Sugar, Weight Gain
“Oh yeah, you've got three pints of Kramer in you, buddy.”
— Cosmo Kramer, Seinfeld, Season 9: The Blood
Tagged: Blood Transfusions
“I had to take a sick day. I'm so sick of these people.”
— Elaine Benes, Seinfeld, Season 9: The Frogger
Tagged: Sick Days, Coworkers
“Uh, yes, most likely, yes. I'm, uh, H. E. Pennypacker. I'm a wealthy industrialist and philanthropist and, uh, a bicyclist. And, um, yes, I'm looking for a place where I can settle down with my, uh, peculiar habits, and, uh, the women that I frequent with.”
— Cosmo Kramer, Seinfeld, Season 9: The Puerto Rican Day
Tagged: Wealth, Industrialist, Philanthropy
loading next page...