Best Dan Hernandez Quotes

Smithers: People like dogs, Mr. Burns.

Mr. Burns: Nonsense! Dogs are idiots. Think about it, Smithers. If I came into your house and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over your face, what would you say?

Smithers: If you did it, Sir?

— Waylon Smithers (Harry Shearer), The Simpsons, Season 3: Dog of Death

Dogs idiots House Crotch slobbering Attraction

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"Your body is the house you grew up in.
How dare you try to burn it to the ground."

— Sierra Demulder, Ana by Sierra DeMulder

Body House Growth self Person sacred burn Destroy Destruction

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"Everybody’s got a dream house
The house of your dreams. "

— Dane Cook, Dane Cook – Dream house

Dreams House Goals Home Future humor comedy

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When a door closes, a window opens. This contractor did a terrible job.

— Night Vale podcast, via twitter.com

Cliches House Windows

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Mom says that a house is like a body. And every house has eyes and bones and skin. A face. This room is like the heart of the house. No, not a heart, a stomach.

— Nell Crain (Victoria Pedretti), The Haunting of Hill House, Season 1: Silence Lay Steadily

House Body simile metaphors Eyes Bones skin face Stomach

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You make major purchases with them. If you are okay adding them to your credit card, or going in on a major purchase like a car or house, that means that you want to build a life together.

— Julie Keating, How To Know When You’re In Love: 50 Signs You Can’t Ignore

Falling In Love House Car financial

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Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all!

— askflow1111, Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?

Kangaroo House

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Aw, it smells like Kenny's house in here!

— Eric Cartman (Trey Parker), South Park, Season 2: Prehistoric Ice Man

Cows Anus House odor

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In this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

— Homer Simpson (Dan Castellaneta), The Simpsons, Season 6: The PTA Disbands

House Obey Laws thermodynamics

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I can't talk, there's too much fruit in the house.

— Marie Barone (Doris Roberts), Everybody Loves Raymond, Season 1: Pilot

can't talk Fruit House upset

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Why are you so intent on moving out of a house that you like, in order for you to continue to do a job you don't like?

— ALF (voice) (Paul Fusco), ALF, Season 2: Movin' Out

Bad decisions House Job

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This is like boyfriend material house!

— Jonathan Van Ness, Queer Eye, Season 2: The Handyman Can

Boyfriend House Boyfriend Material Comfy Relationship

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Why are hurricanes named after women? When they come they are wet and wild and when they leave they take you house and car.

— dv1r, Why are hurricanes named after women?

hurricane Woman House Car

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Me: The house is a disaster. We all need to clean.

8-year-old: Who's coming over?

Me: No one. We're cleaning for us.

8: But we already know we live like this.

— James Breakwell, via twitter.com

kids Children Family house cleaning

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Dan Hernandez Quotes

Dan Hernandez

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No matter where you hide it, kids find it. And accidents happen. And things that aren't accidents. We have teenagers in this house. We have a gay teenager in this house. We have a veteran with PTS. This is the last house that should have a gun.

— Penelope Alvarez (Justina Machado), ,

Related quotes to Dan Hernandez tagged House, Kids

Smithers: People like dogs, Mr. Burns.

Mr. Burns: Nonsense! Dogs are idiots. Think about it, Smithers. If I came into your house and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over your face, what would you say?

Smithers: If you did it, Sir?

— Waylon Smithers (Harry Shearer), The Simpsons, Season 3: Dog of Death

"Your body is the house you grew up in.
How dare you try to burn it to the ground."

— Sierra Demulder, Ana by Sierra DeMulder

"Everybody’s got a dream house
The house of your dreams. "

— Dane Cook, Dane Cook – Dream house

When a door closes, a window opens. This contractor did a terrible job.

— Night Vale podcast, via twitter.com

Mom says that a house is like a body. And every house has eyes and bones and skin. A face. This room is like the heart of the house. No, not a heart, a stomach.

— Nell Crain (Victoria Pedretti), The Haunting of Hill House, Season 1: Silence Lay Steadily

You make major purchases with them. If you are okay adding them to your credit card, or going in on a major purchase like a car or house, that means that you want to build a life together.

— Julie Keating, How To Know When You’re In Love: 50 Signs You Can’t Ignore

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all!

— askflow1111, Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?

Aw, it smells like Kenny's house in here!

— Eric Cartman (Trey Parker), South Park, Season 2: Prehistoric Ice Man

In this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

— Homer Simpson (Dan Castellaneta), The Simpsons, Season 6: The PTA Disbands

I can't talk, there's too much fruit in the house.

— Marie Barone (Doris Roberts), Everybody Loves Raymond, Season 1: Pilot

Why are you so intent on moving out of a house that you like, in order for you to continue to do a job you don't like?

— ALF (voice) (Paul Fusco), ALF, Season 2: Movin' Out

This is like boyfriend material house!

— Jonathan Van Ness, Queer Eye, Season 2: The Handyman Can

Why are hurricanes named after women? When they come they are wet and wild and when they leave they take you house and car.

— dv1r, Why are hurricanes named after women?

Me: The house is a disaster. We all need to clean.

8-year-old: Who's coming over?

Me: No one. We're cleaning for us.

8: But we already know we live like this.

— James Breakwell, via twitter.com

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