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Bill Hader Quotes

Total quotes: 44
“Does anyone have any Q-tips? Because I can't believe what I'm hearing.”
— Don Lentile, Documentary Now!, Season 1: The Eye Doesn't Lie
Tagged: Q-Tips, joke, Can't Believe It
“Most importantly, we discovered that deep down, this powerful kingpin is really just a fun dude who's into cool stuff, like smoothies.”
— Denver McIver, Documentary Now!, Season 1: Dronez
Tagged: Discovery, taste, cool, Smoothies , Powerful
“So how do we find El Chingon? The same way they found Bin Laden. We looked for the biggest house and knocked on the front door.”
— Denver McIver, Documentary Now!, Season 1: Dronez
Tagged: Search, House, Front door
“This is a police sketch of Mom. Her top fell off while she was walking down the street and this mother and children, they gave descriptions of Mom to the police, and the guy did a wonderful job.”
— Little Vivvy, Documentary Now!, Season 1: Sandy Passage
Tagged: Police sketch, Nudity, Police, Top, picture
“The images of poverty that you're about to see may be disturbing to your first world senses. ”
— John Sachs , Documentary Now!, Season 1: Dronez
Tagged: Poverty, First World, Disturbing
“All right! We did not die today, I call that an unqualified success.”
— Fear (voice), Inside Out
Tagged: all right, Die, unqualified, Success, Anxious
“Could say that was long overdue. Get it, 'cause we're in a...library.”
— Richie Tozier, It: Chapter Two
Tagged: library, overdue
“Teaching us all the powerful way of getting shit done and ruling the world while being totally chill.”
— NoHo Hank, Barry, Season 2: The Show Must Go On, Probably?
Tagged: Work, Change, Chill
“If there is one thing I learned in my life, you can't control what other people are going to do.”
— Gene Cousineau, Barry, Season 2: berkman > block
Tagged: Life, Control, Lessons
“Um, this here is a skirt that I safety pin on. And if I want, I can make it a cape.”
— Little Vivvy, Documentary Now!, Season 1: Sandy Passage
Tagged: Fashion, Ridiculous, Saftey Pin, Cape, Skirt
“Wipe that spaghetti sauce off your mouth, because I've got another project for you.”
— Jerry Wallach, Documentary Now!, Season 2: Mr. Runner Up
Tagged: spaghetti, Mouth, project
“It was at that low moment that my indigenous friends introduced me to the cocaine leaf. Ten times more potent than the stepped-on powder sold in L.A. For the rest of the 70s, I lived like a jacked-up koala.”
— Jerry Wallach, Documentary Now!, Season 2: Mr. Runner Up
Tagged: Friends, Cocaine, Koala, Drugs, high
“I went to the Ukraine. They buried me up to my neck and dudes took turns hitting me in the head with a golf club. And I was fine there.”
— Trevor Kenney, Documentary Now!, Season 1: Dronez
Tagged: neck, Dude, Head, Pain, Golf Club
“A bondage-themed, improvised movie with borderline-unattractive no-name actors. The anticipation for our masterpiece kept growing and growing.”
— Jerry Wallach, Documentary Now!, Season 2: Mr. Runner Up
Tagged: Improvised , actor, unattractive, Masterpiece, Art
“Oh, sure, it's, you know, it's a gorgeous town, but mother and I, we know the ugly part, the underbelly, and it's you know, it's sad.”
— Little Vivvy, Documentary Now!, Season 1: Sandy Passage
Tagged: Gorgeous, Town, Underbelly, ugly
“If I ever get a chance to screw this man over, I will do it in a hot Texas minute. You do not mess with my music.”
— Robbie Wheadlan, Documentary Now!, Season 1: The Eye Doesn't Lie
Tagged: Chance, Screw someone over , Music
“It was an open secret in Hollywood. Like how Kevin Costner is three different people.”
— Jerry Wallach, Documentary Now!, Season 2: Mr. Runner Up
Tagged: Hollywood, Open Secret , Kevin Costner
“You know what I love about my job? I get to see the world everyday.”
— Pete Reynolds, Documentary Now!, Season 2: Globesman
Tagged: corny, Job, World, Sales
“World's always gonna need salesmen.”
— Pete Reynolds, Documentary Now!, Season 2: Globesman
Tagged: World, Sales, salesmen
“If you don't do this for me, my family will kill you.”
— NoHo Hank, Barry, Season 2: The Show Must Go On, Probably?
Tagged: Kill, Family, Ultimatums
“Am I like, like an evil person?”
— Barry Berkman, Barry, Season 2: The Power of No
Tagged: Question, Evil, Unsure
“Kill! It's the only word I want in your fucking head.”
— Barry Berkman, Barry, Season 2: What?!
Tagged: Kill, Anger, Head
“I didn't feel like I deserved a good life.”
— Barry Berkman, Barry, Season 2: What?!
Tagged: Sad, Deserve, Life
“Now is not the time to grow a heart, dipshit.”
— Fuches, Barry, Season 2: ronny/lily
Tagged: heart, Kind, upset
“Leave it to Julie Andrews' little minion to [bleep] me over.”
— Jerry Wallach, Documentary Now!, Season 2: Mr. Runner Up
Tagged: Minon , Anne Hathaway , Julie Andrews , upset
“I love what he's done with the place.”
— Richie Tozier, It: Chapter Two
Tagged: Sarcasm, remodeling
“Wow, you two look amazing. What the fuck happened to me?”
— Richie Tozier, It: Chapter Two
Tagged: Amazing, Fuck, letting yourself go
“You wanna know what I'm good at? I'm good at killing people”
— Barry Berkman, Barry, Season 1: Chapter One
Tagged: Good, Kill, People, assassins
“I am your fuckin' business, idiot!”
— Barry Berkman, Barry, Season 2: The Truth Has a Ring to It
Tagged: Business, Idiot, upset
“You can't read people the way I can!”
— Little Vivvy, Documentary Now!, Season 1: Sandy Passage
Tagged: Read, People, upset, Mad
“This meeting of the Losers Club has officially begun.”
— Richie Tozier, It: Chapter Two
Tagged: losers
“Let's kill the fucking clown!”
— Richie Tozier, It: Chapter Two
Tagged: Murder, Clown, Fucking
“I'm gonna take a quiz to see how good my true crime knowledge is.”
— Bill Hader, Bill Hader Murders A Quiz About True Crime
Tagged: true crime, Horror
“Remember that liquor distributor in Canton you stabbed in the nuts? I think Goran's the kind of man who would find something like that intriguing. So work it into the conversation, to make him aware that, you know, you'll go there.”
— Monroe Fuches, Barry, Season 1: Chapter One
Tagged: liquor, Stabbed, Nuts, Man, intriguing
“When I get angry, I don't like who I become.”
— Barry Berkman, Barry, Season 2: What?!
Tagged: angry, Truth, upset
“What?!”
— Barry Berkman, Barry, Season 2: What?!
Tagged: Surprised, Shocked, what
“She was like a feral mongoose.”
— Barry Berkman, Barry, Season 2: ronny/lily
Tagged: Wild, Mongoose , Feral, Simile Examples
“She tore her MCL. Trying to chase a squirrel.”
— Little Vivvy, Documentary Now!, Season 1: Sandy Passage
Tagged: medical, Squirrel, Chase
“We were determined to make the coke-iest movie ever.”
— Jerry Wallach, Documentary Now!, Season 2: Mr. Runner Up
Tagged: Movie, Coke, Goals, Projects
“You've got to be fuckin’ kidding me.”
— Richie Tozier, It: Chapter Two
Tagged: Fucking, Kidding
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