Ben Bertoli Quotes

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Ben Bertoli

Ben Bertoli

Birthname

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Often times consumers, such as myself, don’t have the gall to commit to a family-sized box of what could potentially be an inedible disaster. But I decided to take one for the team.

— Ben Bertoli, I Tried These Weird New Cereals So You Don't Have To

LOL Weird Cereals

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What do ants get when they do all their chores? An allow-ants.

— Mélanie Berliet, 50 Short Corny Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud

Funny Jokes Laugh Out Loud LOL

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My husband told me he thinks my sexual orientation is 'being right' and I’ve never felt more seen.

— Jessica Valenti, via twitter.com

Being Right LOL humor Sassy True Quote of the Moment

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I don’t know why I bring out this craziness in women, but somehow I do, and it’s not always pretty. — Donald Trump

I don’t know why I bring out this craziness in women, but somehow I do, and it’s not always pretty.

— Donald Trump, Donald Trump's books reveal his obsession with women — and himself

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Honey I creative directed my walk over here today. Anyone can be a creative director.

— Ryan O’Connell, Babe?

humor LOL Get over yourself

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My favorite measure of success is not pageviews but the sheer amount of ghosts that reappear after publishing a piece.

— Callie Byrnes, Love When My Exes Keep Tabs On Me

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Tell him you’re excited to have his last name and then marry his brother.

— Anonymous, via Tumblr

LOL humor Funny

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That's not the clitoris: a love story.

— Melissa Broder, So Sad Today

LOL Sex Bad Sex

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Coffee keeps you going until it’s time for wine.

— Anonymous, via Tumblr

LOL Growing Pains Coffee Wine

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Sorry losers and haters, but my I.Q is one of the highest - and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure, it’s not your fault.

— Donald Trump, via Twitter

LOL Intelligence Stupid

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ya know what’s kind of weird? some people name cats ‘whiskers.’ that’s a cat’s body part. that’s so wild. i’m gonna name my son leg.

— hatchibomitar, via Tumblr

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I love crossing the street while cars are turning cuz it’s like wow either you hit me and I die, you hit me and I sue you, or you don’t hit me and I get to cross the street either way I win.

— hacksign, via Tumblr

LOL humor Funny dark Death

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Looking back, we chuckle. We’re glad the Internet Wayback Machine hasn’t exposed the Angelfire or Geocities webpages of our past.

— Jason Winter, Cinemagraphs: the latest evolution of the animated GIF - InVision Blog

Design Web Wayback Machine LOL

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'I’m not a feminist. I love men.' are two sentences as unrelated as 'I’m not an accountant. I love archeology.'

— Erin Gloria Ryan, via Twitter

feminism humor Girl Power Misogyny LOL

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Serenity and Rose Quartz sound like perfumes from a Parisian boutique, but they’re actually just the names of Pantone’s lame ass colors of the year.

— Steven Markow, Pantone Color Names v. What They Actually Look Like — Slackjaw

Design Pantone Color LOL

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Take a selfie it'll last long-wait delete that one my eyebrows look fat take another.

— Grace Helbig, Twitter

humor digital age Selfies LOL

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small boob privilege is so real like…. bralettes… underboob tattoos… going braless?? not looking hyper sexual at all times ???? running comfortably? i could go on

— averagefairy, via Tumblr

boobs Womanhood Body Positive Tumblr LOL

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In case someone hasn't told you today -
You broke. Stop buying all that damn fast food. Carry yo ass home and eat what ya momma cooked.

— highlitemami, via Tumblr

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I've spent 45 minutes putting my outfit together this morning and have brought my SLR camera to lunch, just so we can perfectly capture how casual and spontaneous I look today.

— Michael Buchinger, I Lived Like a Professional Instagrammer for a Week - VICE

Instagram Social Media The Digital Age LOL Before and after

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I can't believe it's 2017 and I'm smarter than the President, and hotter than the Sexiest Man Alive, and I am still doing so poorly in life.

— Christin Bailey, via twitter.com

Twitter Jokes America 2017 LOL broke Millenials

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I'm just trying to get this over with.

— Kevin Radtke, via twitter.com

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this is mean and terrible but it exhausts me to be around people who haven’t finished going through their pretentious asshole phase like okay holden caulfield I know we’re all helplessly suckling at the teat of modern media but can you shut up and play some goddamn mario kart for like five minutes.

— exeggcute, via exeggcute.tumblr.com

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You're no longer holding lunch; you're cradling a canister of beans and rice that is soon to explode.

— Allie Conti, I Ate a Burrito Sideways Like Justin Bieber Supposedly Did and It Sucked

LOL Weird Burritos food Justin Bieber

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my love language is being left alone

— Kendra Syrdal, Just Being Honest Okay?

love languages LOL Twitter Tweets

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You can’t have a perfect summer day reminiscing about the four amazing years you all spent together and undoubtedly peaked during or else why would you keep talking about it without a perfect bikini to match.

— Miranda Kronfeld, 4 American Flag Swimsuits That Say, ‘I Loved High School!’

humor satire LOL

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