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Andy Robin Quotes

Total quotes: 45
“We don’t know how long this will last. They are a very festive people.”
— Elaine Benes, Seinfeld, Season 9: The Puerto Rican Day
Tagged: Puerto Ricans, Festive
“George: You’ve got to apologize.

Jerry: Why?

George: Because it’s the mature and adult thing to do.

Jerry: How does that affect me?”
— Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld, Season 9: The Slicer
Tagged: Apologies, mature, adult, Selfish
“I love a good nap. Sometimes it's the only thing getting me out of bed in the morning.”
— George Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 8: The Nap
Tagged: Nap, Sleeping
“Mr. Peterman: Elaine, can you keep a secret?

Elaine: No sir, I can’t.”
— J. Peterman, Seinfeld, Season 9: The Frogger
Tagged: Candor, Secrets
“Moles—freckles' ugly cousin.”
— Cosmo Kramer, Seinfeld, Season 9: The Slicer
Tagged: Moles, Freckles, Ugly Cousin, Melanoma
“It seems that a psychotic mechanic has absconded with my friend's car.”
— Elaine Benes, Seinfeld, Season 7: The Bottle Deposit
Tagged: Psychotic, Mechanic, Grand Theft Auto
“What about drugs? You doing some of that crack cocaine? You on the pipe?”
— George Steinbrenner, Seinfeld, Season 7: The Bottle Deposit
Tagged: Crack, Drugs, Crack Pipe
“Do you know what day this is? Because I know what day this is, they know what day this is, so I was wondering if you know what day this is!”
— Bob, Seinfeld, Season 9: The Puerto Rican Day
Tagged: Puerto Rican Day, Thugs, Threats
“Listen to the comeback. ‘Oh yeah? Well the jerk store called. They're running outta you.’”
— George Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 8: The Comeback
Tagged: Comebacks, Zingers, Sick Burns
“Yeah, because you're perfect. You're a calculating, coldhearted businesswoman. And when there's dirty work to be done, you don't mind stomping on a few throats.”
— Cosmo Kramer, Seinfeld, Season 8: The Comeback
Tagged: Coldhearted, Dirty Work, Machiavellian, Cutthroat
“Just let me ask you something. Is it ‘FebRUary’ or ‘FebUary’? Because I prefer ‘FebUary,’ and what is this ‘ru’?”
— George Steinbrenner, Seinfeld, Season 8: The Nap
Tagged: Pronunciation, february
“Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's peppermint—it's delicious.”
— Cosmo Kramer, Seinfeld, Season 4: The Junior Mint
Tagged: Junior Mints, chocolate, Peppermint, Temptation
“Well, that's the positive thing about getting sick, you get to lose weight.”
— Elaine Benes, Seinfeld, Season 4: The Junior Mint
Tagged: weight loss, Illness, Irony
“Jimmy’s gonna get you, Kramer! Hands off Jimmy! Don’t touch Jimmy! Let go of Jimmy!”
— Jimmy, Seinfeld, Season 6: The Jimmy
Tagged: Self-Referential, Third Person, Threats
“It's a hot night. The mind races. You think about your knife; the only friend who hasn't betrayed you, the only friend who won't be dead by sun-up. Sleep tight, mates, in your quilted Chambray nightshirts.”
— Eddie, Seinfeld, Season 8: The Fatigues
Tagged: Psychosis, Horror, Knives, Betrayal
“That's the bra I gave her, she's wearing it as a top! The woman is walking around in broad daylight with nothing but a bra on. She's a menace to society.”
— Elaine Benes, Seinfeld, Season 7: The Caddy
Tagged: Bras, Menace to Society
“That's totally inappropriate. It's lewd, lascivious, salacious, outrageous.”
— Jackie Chiles, Seinfeld, Season 7: The Caddy
Tagged: Legalese, Inappropriate, Lascivious, Salacious, Outrageous
“Listen, that registration may have your name on it, Jerry. But this engine's running on my sweat and my blood.”
— Tony, Seinfeld, Season 7: The Bottle Deposit
Tagged: Psychotic, Sweat and Blood
“Yeah, don't worry, Jerry. We're right on this guy like stink on a monkey.”
— Cosmo Kramer, Seinfeld, Season 7: The Bottle Deposit
Tagged: Chases, stink, Monkey
“I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm a US postal worker and my mail truck was just ambushed by a band of backwoods mail-hating survivalists.”
— Newman, Seinfeld, Season 7: The Bottle Deposit
Tagged: Survivalists, Mailmen, US Postal Workers, Backwoods
“You know that just admitting a man is handsome doesn't necessarily make you a homosexual.”
— Elaine Benes, Seinfeld, Season 6: The Jimmy
Tagged: Homophobia
“I've seen moles so big they have their own moles. Freckles that cover two men.”
— Cosmo Kramer, Seinfeld, Season 9: The Slicer
Tagged: Dermatology, Moles, Freckles
“I like to feel cozy. I have a very small apartment. I like to feel tucked in, nestled in. Love to be nestled.”
— George Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 5: The Barber
Tagged: Cozy, Claustrophobia
“Yeah! That's how they talk. You know, everyone's either a bastard or a son of a bitch. Yeah, it's like, uh, ‘Boy, that son of a bitch Boggs can really hit, uh?!’”
— George Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 7: The Hot Tub
Tagged: Son of a Bitch, Bastard, Wade Boggs, Profanity, Obscenity
“Because I'm REFRESHED. I finally found a way to sleep in my office. Under the desk. I lie on my back. I tuck in the chair. I'm invisible.”
— George Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 8: The Nap
Tagged: Loafing, Naps, Office
“Who are you to play God? Every man's time comes! If his number is up, who are you to interfere?”
— George Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 4: The Junior Mint
Tagged: Fate, Euthanasia
“You tell that son of a bitch no Yankee is ever comin' to Houston! Not as long as you bastards are running things.”
— George Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 7: The Hot Tub
Tagged: Profanity, Houston, Houston Astros, New York Yankees, Son of a Bitch, Bastard
“His feelings? You can't continue seeing him. You're destroying yourself. I'm not going to let you. If you don't call him I will.”
— Cosmo Kramer, Seinfeld, Season 5: The Barber
Tagged: Barbers, Feelings, Haircuts, Self-Destruction
“I always look annoyed. Yeah, when you look annoyed all the time, people think that you're busy.”
— George Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 7: The Hot Tub
Tagged: annoyed, Looking Busy
“Cold showers? They're for psychotics.”
— George Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 6: The Jimmy
Tagged: Showers, Cold Showers, Psychosis
“You call yourself a lifesaver. I call you pimple popper MD!”
— Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld, Season 9: The Slicer
Tagged: Dermatologists, Acne
“Kramer: You know you’re not supposed to brush your teeth for 24 hours before you go to the dentist.

Jerry: I think you’re thinking of ‘You’re not supposed to eat 24 hours before surgery.’

Kramer: Oh, you gotta eat before surgery. You need your strength.”
— Cosmo Kramer, Seinfeld, Season 6: The Jimmy
Tagged: Surgery, Brushing Teeth, strength
“Sometimes in life, the gods smile upon you, my friends.”
— George Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 8: The Comeback
Tagged: Zingers, Sick Burns, Comeuppance, Revenge, Fate
“Trust me, Kramer. Given the legal opportunity, I will kill you.”
— Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld, Season 8: The Comeback
Tagged: Threats, Murder
“Your meatloaf is mushy, your salmon croquettes are oily, and your eggplant parmesan is a disgrace to this house!”
— Frank Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 8: The Fatigues
Tagged: Meatloaf, Salmon Croquettes, Eggplant Parmesan, Cooking
“The ocean called. They're running outta shrimp.”
— Reilly, Seinfeld, Season 8: The Comeback
Tagged: Comebacks, Zingers
“He was a fat starving artist, y’know. That's very rare.”
— Elaine Benes, Seinfeld, Season 4: The Junior Mint
Tagged: Obesity, Starving Artists
“Here's what I wanna do. I wanna overhaul the entire engine. But it's gonna take a major commitment from you. You're gonna have to keep it under sixty miles an hour for a while. You gotta come in, and you gotta get the oil changed every thousand miles.”
— Tony, Seinfeld, Season 7: The Bottle Deposit
Tagged: Automotive Car, Automotive Maintenance, Oil Changes
“What is nice? Trying to fill the void in your life with flour and sugar and egg and vanilla? I mean, we are all unhappy. Do we have to be fat, too? Not you, Becky; I know you have a slow metabolism. I don't want one more piece of cake in my office!”
— Elaine Benes, Seinfeld, Season 9: The Frogger
Tagged: Gluttony, Sweets, Cake, Sugar, Weight Gain
“Oh, we all get a little cuckoo sometimes, George. I used to be like you. Rating personnel ’tll they cried, calling managers on the field during a game, threatening to move the team to New Jersey, just to upset people. Then I found a way to relax. I've got two words to say to you, George: hot tub.”
— George Steinbrenner, Seinfeld, Season 7: The Hot Tub
Tagged: Hot Tubs, Jacuzzis, New Jersey, Threats, Relaxation
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