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Amy Sherman-Palladino Quotes

Total quotes: 70
“Life isn’t fair. It’s hard and cruel. You have to pick your friends as if there’s a war going on.”
— Abe Weinberg, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Life Is Not Fair, Cliches, Expansions, Fairness, Life Is Tough, Friendship
“You go explain Yom Kippur to gentiles. We’re happy, but we’re starving. It’s New Years, but we’re guilty.”
— Moishe Maisel, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 1: Ya Shivu v Bolshom Dome Na Kholme
Tagged: Jewish Holidays, explanation, Happy, starving
“I’m officially losing my mind, which is perfect. Now I will be alone and crazy, the famous mad divorcée of the upper West Side.”
— Miriam “Midge” Maisel, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: losing my mind, Divorce, Upper West Side, Perfect, crazy
“Tonight just for tonight I really need to be with someone who loves me.”
— Miriam “Midge” Maisel, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 2: All Alone
“Oh! Dinner with Rory! How delightful! Well, spit-spot. Alert the corgis.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 6: Friday Night's Alright for Fighting
Tagged: Welsh Corgis, Dinner, Delightful
“Can't you recognize a complete psychotic break when you see one? ”
— Rose Weinberg, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: It's Comedy or Cabbage
Tagged: Psychotic, crazy, Emotional Break Down
“You know, some people say drinking coffee at night hinders your sleep.”
— Rory Gilmore,
Tagged: Coffee, Coffee Lover, Sleep
“My mother is fast asleep in my bed, clutching my Hello Kitty pillow, and yes, I have pictures.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 5: Wedding Bell Blues
Tagged: hello kitty, mother, Sleeping, Pictures
“So not only did you go to a cop-raided party, but you started the raid? [Then she proceeds to sing, 'Did You Ever Know That You're My Hero?']”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 3: Say Goodnight, Gracie
Tagged: Cops, party, did you ever know that you're my hero?
“If women don’t realize what’s going on in the world, they won’t step in and fix it.”
— Miriam “Midge” Maisel, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 1: The Disappointment of the Dionne Quintuplets
Tagged: Woman, feminism
“I don’t have my apartment anymore. You have my apartment. You have a lot of my things, actually. You’re welcome.”
— Miriam “Midge” Maisel, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 1: The Disappointment of the Dionne Quintuplets
Tagged: apartment, Sassy, You're Welcome, Things
“You know, what do leprechauns and guys with big dicks have in common? They’re hard to find and incredibly lucky.”
— Miriam “Midge” Maisel, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: Strike Up the Band
Tagged: joke, Lucky, comedy
“Oh, now Shy, you never ask a girl 'How old are you?' or 'How much do you weigh?' or 'Do you love your ex-husband?'”
— Miriam “Midge” Maisel, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: Kind of Bleu
Tagged: Questions, Weight, Love, Ex-Husband
“Abe: This has been the longest month of my life.

Rose: We’ve been here a week.”
— Abe Weinberg, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: Hands!
Tagged: month, Life, week, Time
“Cheeseburger, onion rings, and a list of people who killed their parents and got away with it. I’m looking for heroes.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 4: An Affair to Remember
Tagged: cheeseburger, onion rings, Parricide, Heroes
“I love pudding. I worship it. I have a bowl up on the mantel at home with the Virgin Mary, a glass of wine, and a dollar bill next to it.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 1: Rory's Birthday Parties
Tagged: Pudding, Wine, worship, virgin mary
“We need you to look at Kirk's butt. He ran into some rose bushes, and he's got some thorns stuck in it, and I thought of you.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 5: Say Goodbye to Daisy Miller
Tagged: butt, thorn bushes
“You meet a girl. Maybe she's pretty, maybe she's smart, maybe she's funny. Maybe your parents like her. Maybe you get really lucky, and she's one or two of those things. I got them all with you.”
— Joel Maisel, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 1: Thank You and Good Night
Tagged: Wedding Vows, I Love You
“If you're going to have a voice, you'd better be careful what that voice says.”
— Abe Weinberg, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: Marvelous Radio
Tagged: Advice, voice, Opinion, Careful
“You'll always be in love with her. You won't let anything bad happen to her, ever.”
— Susie Myerson, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: A Jewish Girl Walks Into the Apollo…
Tagged: Love, Protect, Always
“Remember you’re not trying to fix anything. You’re just trying to be heard.”
— Miriam “Midge” Maisel, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: Hands!
Tagged: Heard, Jokes about complaining , Fix
“My life stinks. Hey, let’s look into each other’s eyes and say 'I wish I were you' at exactly the same time — maybe we’ll pull a 'Freaky Friday.'”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 3: Haunted Leg
Tagged: life stinks, Freaky Friday
“You know, it’s funny. I thought I’d find you squatting in some downtown smoke-filled atelier, not two blocks away, living the Methodist version of our life.”
— Miriam “Midge” Maisel, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 1: The Disappointment of the Dionne Quintuplets
Tagged: downtown, squatting, Methodist, Lives
“See, my life completely fell apart today, and here’s why. My father-in-law owns my house. And he took it back when his son left me. Actually, that doesn’t sound funny at all.”
— Miriam “Midge” Maisel, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 1: Ya Shivu v Bolshom Dome Na Kholme
Tagged: father in law, Ownership, House, upset, tricky situation
“Does it look like I'm sitting here thinking about some goddamn ass-licking, cock-sucking, dick-whacking lemonade?”
— Susie Myerson, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: It's Comedy or Cabbage
Tagged: Sassy, sarcastic, Lemonade
“Susie: So, rule number one for this performance?

Midge: Don’t say ‘fuck.’

Susie: Rule number two for this performance?

Midge: Do not say ‘fuck.’”
— Miriam “Midge” Maisel, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: Strike Up the Band
Tagged: Rules, Cursing, bad words
“Midge: Why, why, why was everybody eating?

Susie: At the dinner show? No idea.”
— Susie Myerson, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: Panty Pose
Tagged: eating, Sassy, Dinner
“How do these things weigh a thousand tons and stay in the air? It’s against the laws of God and nature and just heaviness.”
— Susie Myerson, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: Panty Pose
Tagged: Airplanes, Nature, God, heavy
“Susie: Rose Weissman, I would follow you into hell.

Rose: That won't be necessary.”
— Rose Weissman, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 4: Everything is Bellmore
Tagged: follow, Sassy, Necessary
“People don't want to know how the sausage gets made. They just want to eat.”
— Kirk Gleason,
Tagged: Reality, Avoiding The Truth, How The Sausage Gets Made Idiom
“I sat down and it just came out. Flew out. It's like this story has been sitting in my brain for years, taking up space.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Once Upon a Time, Season 4: Fall
Tagged: Writing, Finding Your Voice, inspiration
“Like, it’s Adam and Eve time, and I marry Adam’s son, Cain. We get a nice little place, we’re very happy, and then one day Cain leaves me for, I don’t know, his brother Abel, because there’s only four fucking people on the planet at this point! And then Adam, Adam takes my house and tells me to do jigsaw puzzles!”
— Miriam “Midge” Maisel, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 1: Ya Shivu v Bolshom Dome Na Kholme
Tagged: Adam And Eve, Comparrison, upset, unfair
“He called me ‘hot plates.’ He sooooo likes me.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 5: Written in the Stars
Tagged: compliments
“He brought them here and stuck them in his factory! Is he paying these poor people? Are their toilets for them? I’ve seen their faces! I can’t be sure of this, but one of them has a look like, 'I should’ve taken my chances back in Germany!'”
— Abe Weinberg, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 1: Ya Shivu v Bolshom Dome Na Kholme
Tagged: Factory, Germany, workers, worried
“He packed up my suitcase and left.”
— Miriam “Midge” Maisel, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: suitcase, Ownership, Left
“You sound fat in your albums.”
— Susie Myerson, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: Strike Up the Band
Tagged: Sassy, fat, Singer, Albums
“We are both total idiots today.”
— Susie Myerson, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: Strike Up the Band
Tagged: Stupid, Idiot, Bad Luck
“Eh, to be a big shot, you got to act like a big shot.”
— Susie Myerson, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: It's Comedy or Cabbage
Tagged: Big Shot , acts, Acting
“I like a nice loose tush.”
— Susie Myerson, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: It's Comedy or Cabbage
Tagged: Loose, butt, Physical Appearance
“The written word can change the world.”
— Abe Weinberg, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: Marvelous Radio
Tagged: Word, Change, World
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