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Amy Schumer

51 quotesTelevision Actor · Born Jun 1, 1981 · United States Of America · Female

Amy Beth Schumer (born June 1, 1981) is an American stand-up comedian, writer, actress, and producer. She is the creator, co-producer, co-writer and star of the sketch comedy series Inside Amy Schumer, which debuted on Comedy Central in 2013 and has received a Peabody Award. Schumer has been nominated for five Primetime Emmy Awards for her work on the series, winning for Outstanding Variety Sketch Series in 2015. That year, she also wrote and starred in the comedy film Trainwreck, receiving nominations for the Writers Guild of America Award for Best Original Screenplay and the Golden Globe Award for Best Actress – Motion Picture Comedy or Musical. 2Early life Schumer was born on June 1, 1981 in the Upper East Side of Manhattan, New York, to Sandra (née Jones) and Gordon Schumer, who owned a baby furniture company. She has a younger sister, Kim Caramele, who is a comedy writer and a producer, and a brother, Jason Stein, who is a musician in Chicago, Illinois. Her father is second cousin to U.S. Senator Chuck Schumer. Schumer's father was born Jewish and her mother, who is from a Protestant background, converted to Judaism. Schumer was raised Jewish and says she experienced antisemitism as a child. Through the success of her father's furniture company in Manhattan, Schumer began life in a wealthy famil

All Women in Comedy (6)Body Image (5)Sex (4)Introverts (4)feminism (4)Single (2)breakup (2)Sexual Assault (2)Parents (2)Sad (2)Exhausted (2)breasts (2)Becoming A Woman (2)Rules (2)Finished (2)

From “Gloria Awards”

I am a woman with thoughts and questions and shit to say. I say if I’m beautiful. I say if I’m strong. You will not determine my story — I will.

feminism Self-Worth Self-Love Putting Yourself First Owning Yourself

From “The Guardian”

I’m exactly as happy as I was when I was waiting tables. I don’t think people get happier. But knowing that you’re financially OK and you can have health insurance is really nice.

Money Success humor

From “The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo”

I got out of the shower and stopped to look at myself in the mirror. I looked blotchy and messy and not at all like those girls in magazines. But I was still fucking beautiful.

Body Image

Everyone’s parents have fucked them up in one way or another. This is part of the natural order. It’s the circle of life. Mothers are people—not angels from heaven or Ex Machina error-free service bots. Just because they pushed you out of their vaginal canals does not mean they have all (or any) of…

Parents Parenthood

I wear my mistakes like badges of honor, and I celebrate them.

Mistakes Flaws Growing From Your Mistakes Growth Moving On

I’m sure in the past I’ve said marriage is stupid. Marriage makes someone sign a contract promising something they really can’t deliver. I’m sure I will again say marriage is dumb. But I can also imagine why it could be lovely. There’s something beautiful about truly being there for another person.

Marriage Is Marriage Dumb?

I know my worth. I embrace my power. I say if I’m beautiful. I say if I’m strong. You will not determine my story. I will. I’ll speak and share and fuck and love, and I will never apologize for it. I am amazing for you, not because of you. I am not who I sleep with. I am not my weight. I am not my…

affirmations Postive Words Self-Acceptance

So if you’re an introvert like me, especially a female introvert, or a person who is expected to give away your energy to everyone else on the reg, I want to encourage you to find time to be alone. Don’t be afraid to excuse yourself. Recharge for as long as you need. Lean up against a tree and take…

Introverts

What's wrong with being alone anyway? Being alone is sometimes a great place to be, but people are always trying to correct this 'problem' for you, even if you yourself don't have any kind of problem with it.

Alone Single H4D-53

Do they think models size 6 and above can't make it to the end of the runway without stopping midway for a burrito? Enough, enough with these waifish elves walking your impossible clothing down an ugly runway with ugly lighting and noisy music. Life doesn't look like that runway.

feminism Body Image models Society

You become a woman the first time you stand up for yourself when they get your order wrong at a diner, or when you first realize your parents are full of shit. You become a woman the first time you get fitted for a bra and realize you’ve been wearing a very wrong size your whole fucking life. You…

feminism Growing Up

Isn’t it sad that when a girl says she was sexually assaulted, our first instinct is to think she’s probably lying? Statistics and facts tell us the exact opposite. We demand ‘perfect victims’ who better not have been drinking or hanging out at a party in a short skirt or revealing dress or have…

Sexual Assault

He said he loved me, but every step of the way he’d hurt and sabotage me. I realized later that he put me down so much because he was probably terrified that I’d realize he was nothing and leave him. Which is exactly what I did.

Love Toxic Toxic Relationships

I’m mad because girls as young as eight years old are being shamed about their bodies. Fifth graders go on diets and admire Instagram pics of celebs in waist trainers. Some of the people I’m closest to have struggled with eating disorders. I’m mad at an industry that suggests that painfully thin is…

Body Image Negative Body Image Women's Magazines

I don’t know how introverts survived without the Internet. Or with the Internet. Actually, I don’t know how we survive at all. It feels impossible.

Introverts Internet

You become a woman the first time you fart in front of a boyfriend. The first time your heart breaks. The first time you break someone else’s heart. The first time someone you love dies. The first time you lie and make yourself look bad so a friend you love can look better. And less dramatic things…

Becoming A Woman first Sex

Beauty comes in many forms!

beauty Many Forms

There is nothing better than being your own boss. Well, there is, actually: not having to work at all. That is way better.

Work No Boss 9-5 Lifestyle

Isn’t it sad that when a girl says she was sexually assaulted, our first instinct is to think she’s probably lying? Statistics and facts tell us the exact opposite. We demand ‘perfect victims’ who better not have been drinking or hanging out at a party in a short skirt or revealing dress or have…

Sexual Assault Rape Slut Shaming

When you have a sick parent, you can’t help but think of the end. Like literally, the final moments of life come to mind when I begin to love someone. I think, Will this dude push my wheelchair? And even scarier, Would I be willing to push his?

Sick Parents Love real love

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