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Alex Borstein Quotes

Total quotes: 21
“Well, the best advice I can give is that you never know who's gonna grow up to be famous, so just make yourself available.”
— Lois Griffin (voice), Family Guy, Season 3: Road to Europe
Tagged: life advice, Be Available, Dating and Relationships
“Peter Griffin: Me? Go to a PTA meeting? What, are you high?

Lois Griffin: Nah, not anymore, I crashed hours ago. By the way, we are out of chips, cookies, and funnybones.”
— Lois Griffin (voice), Family Guy, Season 4: Peter's Got Woods
Tagged: Sassy, high, Munchies, Parenting
“Brian Griffin: Peter, did you read the fine print on this loan contract?

Peter Griffin: Um... if by 'read' you mean 'imagined a naked lady,' then yes.”
— Peter Griffin, Family Guy, Season 3: A Fish out of Water
Tagged: Snark, Sassy, Not Paying Attention
“Okay, everyone, it's 2:30! Time for dinner! 'Cause on Thanksgiving, 2:30 is dinnertime for some reason!”
— Lois Griffin (voice), Family Guy, Season 10: Thanksgiving
Tagged: Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving Dinner, Snarky
“Meg Griffin: Mom, I can't clean - I got stuff to do!

Lois Griffin: Sweetheart, we all know you don't have any stuff to do.”
— Lois Griffin (voice), Family Guy, Season 2: Fore Father
Tagged: Mother Daughter Relationships, Mother Daughter, Snark
“You'll always be in love with her. You won't let anything bad happen to her, ever.”
— Susie Myerson, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: A Jewish Girl Walks Into the Apollo…
Tagged: Love, Protect, Always
“Peter Griffin: Oh, hey Lois. I guess you must be happy.

Lois Griffin: Yeah, it's every girl's dream to have her husband hoisted out of a food truck in a horse harness.”
— Lois Griffin (voice), Family Guy, Season 15: Saturated Fat Guy
Tagged: Snark, SASS, Sarcasm
“Does it look like I'm sitting here thinking about some goddamn ass-licking, cock-sucking, dick-whacking lemonade?”
— Susie Myerson, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: It's Comedy or Cabbage
Tagged: Sassy, sarcastic, Lemonade
“Midge: Why, why, why was everybody eating?

Susie: At the dinner show? No idea.”
— Susie Myerson, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: Panty Pose
Tagged: eating, Sassy, Dinner
“How do these things weigh a thousand tons and stay in the air? It’s against the laws of God and nature and just heaviness.”
— Susie Myerson, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: Panty Pose
Tagged: Airplanes, Nature, God, heavy
“Brian, save your hippie B.S. for the winter months.”
— Lois Griffin (voice), Family Guy, Season 5: Hell Comes to Quahog
Tagged: Hippies, Hippie
“You sound fat in your albums.”
— Susie Myerson, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: Strike Up the Band
Tagged: Sassy, fat, Singer, Albums
“We are both total idiots today.”
— Susie Myerson, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: Strike Up the Band
Tagged: Stupid, Idiot, Bad Luck
“Eh, to be a big shot, you got to act like a big shot.”
— Susie Myerson, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: It's Comedy or Cabbage
Tagged: Big Shot , acts, Acting
“I like a nice loose tush.”
— Susie Myerson, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: It's Comedy or Cabbage
Tagged: Loose, butt, Physical Appearance
“I’m a manager. Nobody cares what the fuck I look like.”
— Susie Myerson, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: Hands!
Tagged: Manager, looks, Appearance
“Eat me, I'm excited!”
— Susie Myerson, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 4: Interesting People on Christopher Street
Tagged: Excited, Happy, Eat Me
“How could I be scared of a fucking blazer?”
— Susie Myerson, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: Strike Up the Band
Tagged: Afraid, clothing, Fashion
“You’ll always be my number one.”
— Susie Myerson, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: It's the Sixties, Man!
Tagged: Number One, Favorite, Priority
“Are you done playing with lipstick? Cuz I got you a gig.”
— Susie Myerson, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 2: Midnight at the Concord
Tagged: Gig, Sassy, lipstick
“I haven't been anywhere near the beach and I have sand in my ass.”
— Susie Myerson, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: It's Comedy or Cabbage
Tagged: beach, Sand, Gross
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