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Al Goldstein Quotes

Total quotes: 33
“I don’t need a fancy life. I’m happy being bored with television.”
— Al Goldstein, 82 Minutes With Al Goldstein
Tagged: Luxury, Television
“The worst thing that any individual can do is to be resigned, to feel helpless and hopeless. When you do that, you’re like the 99 percent of the people around who are just waiting for death to take them away. ”
— Al Goldstein, Al Goldstein Interview
Tagged: Hopelessness, Death
“I want Jane Fonda to sit on my head as we discuss New Left politics. I want her desperately. If she reads this, I hope she'll satisfy me.”
— Al Goldstein, Al Goldstein Interview
Tagged: Jane Fonda, New Left
“All we hear from the censors is ‘What about the children?’ It’s a very emotional issue, but you can’t let the rights of children negate the rights of adults.”
— Al Goldstein, Al Goldstein Interview
Tagged: Censorship, rights
“I'm a crusader. I really believe in the First Amendment, and I use it fully, and I pay a price for that. I keep attacking the villains, the know-nothings, the people who want to take our freedoms away.”
— Al Goldstein, MR. SMITH, THE SYBARITE Who Also Was A Teacher
Tagged: First Amendment
“The only reason that Jews are in pornography is that we think that Christ sucks. Catholicism sucks. We don’t believe in authoritarianism.”
— Al Goldstein, Solving the Mystery of Babylon the Great
Tagged: Catholicism, Christianity, Jews, Pornography
“There is a pattern to American life that what is avant-garde becomes commonplace. The mass market eventually assimilates that which is innovative or revolutionary.”
— Al Goldstein, The Rise and Fall of the Anti-Hugh Hefner
Tagged: Avant-Garde, Revolutionary, Mass Market, Capitalism
“When every piece of furniture and your underwear are taken by the bank, when you lose your house in Florida, in New York, in Amsterdam and L.A., when your wife is dying and your son abandons you, you don't feel very good.”
— Al Goldstein, McNally Robinson Reading Keeps Al Goldstein From Suicide
Tagged: Bankruptcy
“When I was twelve, I found my father's collection of pornography. I remember running into the bathroom and jerking off. I was all right. In fact, I was happy to know my father actually looked at pictures of naked women.”
— Al Goldstein, Al Goldstein Interview
Tagged: Pornography, masturbation
“Courage is unique, rare and applauded, but we must realize that most of the so-called intellectual press is as gutless with respect to the issue of pornography as it is with any other dissent.”
— Al Goldstein, Al Goldstein Interview
Tagged: Courage, Pornography, Dissent
“I judge religions on the basis of what they do, and I'm afraid to say that the insidious power of religion has been with us for thousands of years. I do not respect irrationality, stupidity, or superstition, and much of religion is rooted in these.”
— Al Goldstein, Al Goldstein Interview
Tagged: Religion, stupidity, Superstition
“People all across the country fuck in the same way, with the same instrumentation. I’ve eaten pussy in the Midwest and fucked my brains out throughout most of this country. Sex is a universal, a common theme. I don’t think there are many geographical differences.”
— Al Goldstein, Al Goldstein Interview
Tagged: Sex, cunnilingus, Midwest
“Obscenity was mostly boring, but I thought it should be legal.”
— Al Goldstein, 82 Minutes With Al Goldstein
Tagged: Obscenity
“We should legalize drugs the same way we legalize alcohol and smoking, and then let those people have to deal with the consequences of their actions. But you can't prohibit it—it doesn't work, it didn't work in the twenties, it doesn't work today.”
— Al Goldstein
Tagged: Drug Legalization, Alcohol, smoking, Prohibition
“I do very poorly with new women because fat is currently out. I’m sure Orson Welles doesn't get laid that much either. One of the few areas of displeasure and pain to me is being a fatty. Fat people are sexually isolated in our society and are subjected to tremendous rejection.”
— Al Goldstein, Al Goldstein Interview
Tagged: Orson Welles, Obesity, Rejection
“Almost anyone who tries to bring about change has to be a little unbalanced. If you’re balanced, you’re not going to fight. Yes, within me I’m sure there are certain self-destructive components. The average politician has such components too. To be a true believer, to be a zealot, you have to be a little different.”
— Al Goldstein, Al Goldstein Interview
Tagged: Change, Zealotry, Self-Destructiveness
“So, if anatomy is destiny then testosterone is doom.”
— Al Goldstein, Social Psychology and Human Nature, Comprehensive Edition
Tagged: testosterone
“SCREW’s mission has been to offend, attack, and ridicule. Nothing is sacred to SCREW, including the pretenses of its own publisher, me. But it's the political content that causes people to want to press charges against us. Their excuse to get at us is the sexual content.”
— Al Goldstein, Al Goldstein Interview
Tagged: SCREW Magazine, Offensiveness
“Society will always punish the people who say the things that society wants to suppress. Going to jail is not something I relish, but I feel I can do the time, and I refuse to be so intimidated by prison that it will change my course of action. ”
— Al Goldstein, Al Goldstein Interview
Tagged: Society, Jail
“Pornography is far less dangerous than romanticism. Both are fantasies; both have weak premises. But romanticism is why three out of four marriages wind up in divorce court—sexual unhappiness being one cause. Pornography tries to depict some reality, however. Naturally, it too can be misused, but I prefer pornography completely to idealistic, romantic bullshit.”
— Al Goldstein, Al Goldstein Interview
Tagged: Pornography, Romanticism, Marriage, Divorce, Idealism
“The main thing that keeps me going is rage. Rage and anger. I am competitive. I do not want to be defeated. I do not want to lose. I do not want to be emasculated. It's me against them. It's high noon every day of my life, and I think I’ve been shot in the balls a few times, but I’m still able to draw my gun. If I’m going to be thought of as a bear, I want to be thought of as a grizzly.”
— Al Goldstein, Al Goldstein Interview
Tagged: Rage, Anger, Competitiveness, Emasculation
“I see a nice-looking woman wearing a bikini on a beach, but I don’t want to tie her up and hang her from a meat hook. I want to fuck her and have her fuck me, because sex is a very constructive, exciting part of life. I think I’m open in terms of my own sexuality, and yet I’m also amazed at how prudish I am at certain other levels. I’m not into a swinging marriage. My marriage is classic: I'll cheat now and then—and hope I don't get caught—and if my wife screwed around, I’d divorce her. That's not very healthy, so I’ve got a long way to go.”
— Al Goldstein, Al Goldstein Interview
Tagged: Marriage, Swinging, Divorce
“I'm afraid religion’s going to be with us for a long, long time. My objection to religion is that instead of being used constructively, it’s been used as an instrument of destruction. If religion really preached the holiness of the body and its use sexually, I would applaud religion, even though I’m a nonbeliever. But religion teaches us that sex is bad, and that's what I find so very alien to me.”
— Al Goldstein, Al Goldstein Interview
Tagged: Religion, sexuality
“And as a consumer of pornography, I was amazed how hard it was to obtain and how hypocritical we were, whether it was a Playboy—they would use words like 'cunnilingus' and 'fellatio.' The Reader's Digest only pushed marriage. Oral sex was only a foreplay. Masturbation was a sin. Again, I paid for sex all the time and have never stopped. In all my marriages, I paid for sex. No one gives me money, or no one has ever bought me dinner. So I am the classic john, and SCREW is a representative, or a reflection, of my personality and the reality of sex—that guys don't say, 'Uh, God, she reads Spinoza.' They say, 'Boy, she sucked my cock, and it was wonderful. I ate her pussy. I brought her off four times.' So SCREW is an extension of the dishonesty I saw in 1968. It was like the emperor was naked and no one admitted it. SCREW not only admitted it, but glorified it.”
— Al Goldstein Pornography Masturbation Spinoza Fellatio Cunnilingus Reader's Digest
Tagged: SCREW Magazine
“Politically correct. The ones I hate the most are the knee-jerk Jewish liberals who are in favor of anything sexual as long as it was written a hundred years ago. They're good little boys who wanted to make their mommies happy. Their mommies have generally emasculated and terrorized their fathers, and sadly, they're mostly Jewish. And it takes one to know one. They're pathetic, uh, they're pathetic. And mostly, they really don't believe in freedom. They're not really comfortable with sex. They are very disturbed individuals, and that's why I prefer the right wing. I'd rather have Morton Downey and Pat Buchanan than sixty Jewish cocktail liberals. And I keep using the word 'Jewish,' 'cause, as a Jew, I am so upset the Jews are not better than the ACLU-type legal mentality.”
— Al Goldstein
Tagged: Morton Downey, Pat Buchanan, ACLU, Liberals, Political Correctness
“Majority rule means tyranny. Ninety-nine percent of the people don’t give a shit. For 50 years now, studies by various statistical-measuring services have shown that most people, if they had to vote on the US Constitution, would vote it down. Most people feel that homosexuals should not teach in our schools and that blacks should not have equal rights.

The majority would vote against the First Amendment, the Fifth Amendment, all the amendments. Most people are prejudiced and do not want differences of opinion, differences of lifestyles, to exist. If the majority rules, the minority will be crushed.”
— Al Goldstein, Al Goldstein Interview
Tagged: Fifth Amendment, First Amendment, Majority Rule
“I actually think SCREW is less vulnerable simply because we exploit men and women equally. But I also feel that the feminist movement is full of shit. It is supposed to be this classless group of women, but in reality it's elitist. It's supposed to be protecting secretaries and barhops, but there are no secretaries, no housewives in most feminist groups. Instead, the groups consist of people who earn their living by writing. The more they disseminate feminism, the more they get for the sale of their articles.

Frankly, I think these women are exploiting the movement. Also, I refuse to be made the ‘heavy’ for the women's movement. I’m as exploited by conditioning as women are, and yet I'm blamed for being unfair to women. That's as stupid as blaming me for the sins of slavery. I never owned a black, and as long as I haven’t owned a black and no one can show by my own actions that I am mean to blacks, I refuse to feel guilty. The feminist movement tries to blackmail men. In fact, one of the first editors of SCREW was a woman, who's now working for Penthouse.”
— Al Goldstein, Al Goldstein Interview
Tagged: Slavery, feminism, classism, SCREW Magazine
“The feminism that has gotten the media's attention is truly fascistic tyranny—you've gotta be politically correct. In many cases it's male-hating, it's blaming, it's childish and adolescent, and mostly it's pro-censorship. But I'm talkin' about the loud media feminists. I am a feminist, because I hire people based on their abilities. When I get married or have a relationship with somebody, usually I'm attracted to intelligent women who are responsible for their actions. So I consider myself the ultimate feminist and Gloria Steinem the ultimate fascist slut.”
— Al Goldstein
Tagged: feminism, Gloria Steinem, Political Correctness
“Eating pussy is much more intimate, much more private. With fucking you really don’t get the taste, the smell of the woman, unless she's been racing horses around the track. I think it’s pretty shocking that the Supreme Court said that eating pussy is an act against nature (Doe v. Commonwealth's Attorney for City of Richmond, Virginia, 1976). That blows my mind! For a Court majority of six old, senile farts to tell me how to conduct sex is ludicrous.”
— Al Goldstein, Al Goldstein Interview
Tagged: cunnilingus, Supreme Court
“We only have to look at the era in Greece 400 years before Christ. The city of Sparta was a military fortress where everything revolved around war and violence. As a matter of fact, it was all right to steal as long as one didn't get caught. Nothing of much value came from that city, unlike Athens of the same period. Athens belonged to the literary and intellectual worlds of Plato, Pericles, and other brilliant minds. The Athenian mentality produced beauty, intelligence, and sensuality. Ironically, Sparta has given us the military mind, which can’t get orgasmic relief, so instead it releases bombs and rockets.”
— Al Goldstein, Al Goldstein Interview
Tagged: Ancient Greece, Athens, Sparta, Violence
“If I went for the dollar, I would really be a super-rich person who played it safe. The way to make the most money in this country is to deal with sex without touching on politics. Mafia people I knew in the early years of SCREW's existence said, ‘Quit attacking the Pope. Quit attacking the politicians. Quit attacking Nixon.’ They were right. The legal fees in Kansas in 1976 were $235,000. The 1977 trial should probably cost me another $250,000. If I had any brains, I'd sell tits and ass and not do political commentary. But I love the political commentary. While growing up in Brooklyn, I remember being told in civics class that America was free. I was stupid and jerky enough to have believed those words.”
— Al Goldstein, Al Goldstein Interview
Tagged: Mafia, Richard Nixon, Pornography, Politics, Kansas, Brooklyn
“The Supreme Court is a political instrument composed of malleable political creatures. It's not some august body of intellectuals and cerebral types who are going to maximize fidelity to the Constitution. Today's Court is frightening in its stupidity. Four of the nine justices (Warren Burger, William Rehnquist, Lewis Powell, and Harry Blackmun) were appointed by Nixon. They should have disqualified themselves once Nixon left the presidency, because they are part and parcel of that man’s corruption.”
— Al Goldstein, Al Goldstein Interview
Tagged: Supreme Court, US Constitution, Warren Burger, William Rehnquist, Harry Blackmun, Richard Nixon, Corruption
“I am also a father now, and I would like my son to live in a saner world than I do. I don’t want my son to have to go through my drawers to find my pornography, as I found my father's. I would like my son to be able to masturbate without feeling guilty, wondering if his mind is going to turn to oatmeal. Whatever options my son has—if the boy is raised with love, sanity, and care—I think whatever choice he makes will be fine. Truthfully, I don’t care. If he wants to suck cock in the subway, if that’s where he's at, I hope I can be a good enough father to love him. He's probably going to identify with his rather crazy father, and be very much like me—fucked up.”
— Al Goldstein, Al Goldstein Interview
Tagged: Fatherhood, Love, masturbation
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