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Abbi Abrams

11 quotes

All pot (3)Ben Affleck (1)Privacy (1)adult (1)saint louie (1)masturbation (1)Divorce (1)Favorite Person (1)Friends (1)responsible (1)Diss (1)Relationships (1)charity (1)homeless (1)Selling (1)

From “Pu$$y Weed”

I was curious to see if you were still selling the greenery. Cuz I'm looking to buy some um greenery.

Selling Buying Weed pot greenery

I’m an adult and I’m responsible. Let’s go get some candy.

adult responsible candy

I’m an adult. I should be buying my own pot.

pot Adulthood

You know what’s the biggest luxury? Pooping when no one’s home.

Pooping Luxury Privacy

You just pulled a bag of pot out of your vagina.

pot Vagina

From “The Lockout”

Abbi: We’re technically homeless right now. Ilana: Ben Affleck was homeless for a night for a charity…We’re, like, doing that, just involuntarily. Abbi: Yeah, we’re just a regular Matt and Ben.

homeless Matt Damon Ben Affleck Friends charity

From “Fattest Asses”

Abbi: What is your return policy? Cashier: It's 30 days. Abbi: Great, I'll see you in 30 days then....biiiiiiiiiiitch. Cashier: You still need to sign the receipt.

return policy dress Diss accident

I've cleaned more pubes than you have on your entire body!

Pubes

From “Hurricane Wanda”

Never have I ever, um, dealt with how my parents' divorce affected my overall, you know, being in relationships.

Never have i ever drinking game Divorce Relationships Alcohol

From “Hashtag FOMO”

You're my favorite little jewie this side of saint louie.

Favorite Person Jew saint louie

From “St. Mark's”

I finally masturbated above the covers, without my eyes being closed. That was a really big journal entry.

masturbation Journal Entry

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