The Office

50 Inspirational Michael Scott Quotes To Get You Through The Workday

Straight from the mouth of the World's Best Boss.
Heidi Priebe
October 11, 2016
“I would not miss it for the world. But if something else came up I would definitely not go. ”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 2: Office Olympics
Tagged: would not miss it, World, not go, contradictory
“I don't hate it. I just don't like it at all and it's terrible.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 4: Launch Party
Tagged: Hate, terrible, don't like it
“Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 5: The Duel
Tagged: Sentence, Going, Hope, Start, lost
“I'm not superstitious but I am a little stitious.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 4: Fun Run
Tagged: Superstitious, little, stitous, Words
“Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject. So you know you are getting the best possible information.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 3: The Negotiation
Tagged: Wikipedia, Best Thing, World, subject, best possible, information, Collaboration
“Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 4: Fun Run
Tagged: Flaws, sing in showe, volunterring, sue me, Car, accident
“Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 2: The Fight
Tagged: feared, Loved, Both
“Society teaches us that having feelings and crying is bad and wrong. Well, that's baloney because grief isn't wrong. There's such a thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown.”
— Jennifer Celotta, The Office, Season 3: Grief Counseling
Tagged: Society, Feelings, Bad, Wrong, Grief, good grief, Charlie Brown
“Toby is in HR which technically means he works for corporate. So he's not really a part of our family. Also he's divorced... so he's not really a part of his family.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 2: Sexual Harassment
Tagged: Human Resources, corporate, Family, divorced
“I am Beyonce, always.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 6: Body Language
Tagged: Beyonce, Always, Fierce, Iconic
“Dwight, you ignorant slut!”
— Michael Scott, The Office
Tagged: The Office, humor
“If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 6: Body Language
Tagged: Adolf Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, Gun, shot
“Webster's Dictionary defines wedding as: The fusing of two metals with a hot torch.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 3: Phyllis' Wedding
Tagged: Webster, Dictionary, wedding, welding, fuse, hot torch
“It is St. Patrick's Day….It is the closest that the Irish will ever get to Christmas.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 6: The Delivery
Tagged: St. Patrick's Day, irish, Christmas
“Saw Inception. Or at least I dreamt I did.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 7: Nepotism
Tagged: Inception, dreamt, Think, Unsure
“How to take off a woman's bra: You just twist your hand until something breaks.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 3: Ben Franklin
Tagged: Woman, bra, Twist, hands, Breaks
“Make friends first, make sales second, make love third. In no particular order.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 6: The Delivery
Tagged: Friends, Sales, Love, first, Second, third, No particular Order
“There is no such thing as an appropriate joke, that's why it's a joke.”
— B.J. Novak,, The Office, Season 2: Sexual Harassment
Tagged: joke, appropriate, no such thing
“Tell him to call me ASAP as possible.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 5: New Boss
Tagged: Redundant, ASAP, call me
“Oh God, my mind is going a mile an hour.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 6: The Cover-Up
Tagged: Mind, mile a minute, misworded, Hour
“I have got to make sure that YouTube comes down to tape this.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 5: Stress Relief
Tagged: Youtube, tape, comes down
“Hate to see you leave but love to watch you go. 'Cause of your butt.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 6: The Cover-Up
Tagged: hate to see you leave, love to watch you go, butt
“Well, happy birthday Jesus. Sorry that your party's so lame.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 2: Christmas Party
Tagged: Happy Birthday, jesus, Sorry, lame
“It's a good thing Russia doesn't exist anymore.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 6: Scott's Tots
Tagged: Russia, Soviet Union, good thing, exisit
“Do you think that doing alcohol is cool?”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 2: Drug Testing
Tagged: doing alcohol, Drug, cool, Drinking, Alcohol
“It's simply beyond words. It's incalculable.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: simply, Beyond, incalculable, Words
“No, I'm not going to tell them about the downsizing. If a patient has cancer, you don't tell them.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: downsizing, Patient, cancer, don't tell
“I guess the attitude that I've tried to create here is that I'm a friend first and a boss second and probably an entertainer third.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Attitude, Create, Friend, boss, entertainer, first, Second, third
“This is our receptionist, Pam. If you think she's cute now you should have seen her a couple years ago.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: receptionist, Cute, years, Younger
“Jan is cold. If she was sitting across from you on a train and she wasn't moving, you might think she was dead.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 2: The Client
Tagged: cold, train, dead, Stiff, expressionless