Officer Smy: Ursula, what the fuck? There's no TP in the bathroom!
Ursula: What about the piece stuck to your shoe?
Officer Smy: What ABOUT the piece stuck to my shoe? [Looks down]
Officer Smy: SHIT!
Ursula: [Stifles a laugh]
Officer Smy: You know, you might get ahead around here if you made the extra effort.
Ursula: Oh why... did you want me to wipe your ass?
Officer Smy: [Flustered] That's not what I meant! [With a pompous gesture] Well around MY house, my wife knows to refill the TP.
Ursula: I'm not your wife, Smy.
Officer Smy: No, and if you were, I'd take you down a peg or two.