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Young Frankenstein Quotes

“[first lines]
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: If we look at the base of a brain, which has just been removed from the skull, there's very little of the mid-brain that we can actually see. Yet, as I demonstrated in my lecture last week, if the under aspects of the temporal lobes are gently pulled apart, the upper portion of the stem of the brain can be seen. The so-called 'brain stem' consists of the mid-brain, a rounded protrusion called the pons, and a stalk tapering downwards called the medulla oblongata, which passes out of the skull through the foramen magnum, and becomes, of course, the spinal cord. Are there any questions before we proceed?

Medical Student: I have one question, Dr. Frankenstein.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: That's 'Fronkensteen'.

Medical Student: I beg your pardon?

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: My name; it's pronounced 'Fronkensteen.'

Medical Student: But aren't you the grandson of the famous Dr. Victor Frankenstein who went into graveyards, dug up freshly buried corpses, and transformed dead components into...?

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Yes! Yes, yes! We all know what he did; but I'd rather be remembered for my own small contributions to science, and not because of my accidental relationship... to a famous... cuckoo. [the medical students laugh] Now if you don't mind, can we get on with your question?

Medical Student: Well, sir, I'm not sure I understand the distinction between reflexive and voluntary nerve impulses.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Very good. Since our lab work today is a demonstration of just that distinction, why don't we proceed? [Dr. Frankenstein rings a small desktop gong and two lab assistants wheel in an elderly man on a gurney] Mr. Hilltop here - with whom I have never worked, nor given any prior instructions to - has graciously offered his services for this afternoon's demonstration. Mr. Hilltop, would you hop up on your feet and stand beside this table? [Mr. Hilltop slowly steps down from the gurney] Nice hopping. Mr. Hilltop, would you raise your left knee, please? [Mr. Hilltop slowly raises his left knee] You have just witnessed a voluntary nerve impulse. It begins as a stimulus from the cerebral cortex, passes through the brain stem and to the particular muscles involved. Mr. Hilltop, you may lower your knee. [Mr. Hilltop lowers his left knee] Reflex movements are those which are made independently of the will, but are carried out along pathways which pass between the peripheral nervous system and the central nervous system. You fithy, rotten yellow son of a bitch! [Dr. Frankenstein puts his hand on Mr. Hilltop's right shoulder and hits Mr. Hilltop's left thigh with his left knee; the students gasp at Mr. Hilltop's involuntarily winces from Dr. Frankenstein's sudden move] We are not aware of these impulses, neither do we intend them to carry out our contraction of muscles; yet as you can see, they work by themselves. But what if we block the nerve impulse by simply applying local pressure? Which can be done with any ordinary metal clamp just at the swelling, on the posterior nerve roots... for oh say, five or six seconds. [Dr. Frankenstein puts the clamp on the back of Hilltop's neck and looks at his watch for a few seconds] Why, you mother-grabbing bastard! [Dr. Frankenstein gives Hilltop another knee hit to his left thigh, but this time he makes no involuntary reaction and is still standing up] As you can see, all communication is shut off. [whimpers in pain] In spite of our mechanical magnificence, if it were not for this continuous stream... of motor impulses, we would collapse like a bunch of broccoli! [Dr. Frankenstein removes the clamp from Hilltop's neck; Hilltop faints and moans while the students applaud] Ohh, ohh! In conclusion, it should be noted... [whispers to the intern] Give him an extra dollar.

Orderly in Frankenstein's Class: [whispers to Dr. Frankenstein] An extra dollar, yes sir.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: That any more than common injury to the nerve root is always serious.

Mr. Hilltop: [Mr. Hilltop is carried out on a gurney] Ohh, ohh, ohhh!

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Because once a nerve fiber is severed, there is no way in heaven or on earth to regenerate life back into it.”
— Dr. Frederick Frankenstein, Young Frankenstein
Tagged: nervous system, neurology, Cuckoo
“From that fateful day when stinking bits of slime first crawled from the sea and shouted to the cold stars, 'I am man,' our greatest dread has always been the knowledge of our mortality. But tonight, we shall hurl the gauntlet of science into the frightful face of death itself. Tonight, we shall ascend into the heavens. We shall mock the earthquake. We shall command the thunders, and penetrate into the very womb of impervious nature herself.”
— Dr. Frederick Frankenstein, Young Frankenstein
Tagged: Nature, Heavens, Earthquake, boldness, Death
“Inga: You haven't even touched your food. [Frederick explodes and slaps on his food]

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: There. Now I've touched it. Happy?”
— Dr. Frederick Frankenstein, Young Frankenstein
Tagged: Hunger, no appetite, Literal
“Medical Student: Isn't it true that Darwin preserved a piece of vermicelli in a glass case until, by some extrordinary means, it actually began to move with voluntary motion?

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Are you speaking of the worm or the spaghetti? [the class laughs]

Medical Student: Why, the worm, sir.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Yes, I did read something of that incident when I was a student, but you have to remember that a worm... with very few exceptions... is not a human being.

Medical Student: But wasn't that the whole basis of your grandfather's work? The reanimation of dead tissue?

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: My grandfather was a very sick man.

Medical Student: But as a Fronkensteen, aren't you the least bit curious about it? Doesn't the bringing back to life what was once dead hold any intrigue to you?

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: You are talking about the nonsensical ravings of a lunatic mind! Dead is dead!

Medical Student: But look at what has been done with hearts and kidneys...

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Hearts and kidneys are Tinker Toys! I am talking about the central nervous system!”
— Dr. Frederick Frankenstein, Young Frankenstein
Tagged: reanimation, tinker toys, lunatic, dead tissue
“[Frankenstein, Igor and Inga in front of HUGE castle doors] Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What knockers.

Inga: Oh, thank you doctor.”
— Inga, Young Frankenstein
Tagged: Knockers, boobs, Double Entendre
“Inga: You know, there's something I've been meaning to ask you. In the transference, the monster got part of your wonderful brain. But what did you ever get from him?

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [growls suggestively]

Inga: [gasping] Oh my goodness, I don't believe... [emits several somewhat painful-sounding moans and grunts…singing] Oh, sweet mystery of life, at last I've found you!”
— Inga, Young Frankenstein
Tagged: Transference, huge penis, sweet mystery of life
“Oh, sweet mystery of life at last I've found you! At last, I know the secret of it all!”
— Elizabeth, Young Frankenstein
Tagged: sweet mystery of life, Good Sex
“[following Igor's botched attempt to interpret Dr. Frankenstein's charade clues while being attacked by the monster] SEDA-GIVE?”
— Dr. Frederick Frankenstein, Young Frankenstein
Tagged: sedative, Frustration
“Frau Blücher: Good night, Herr Doktor.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Good night, Frau Blücher. [horses whinny]”
— Dr. Frederick Frankenstein, Young Frankenstein
Tagged: horses, whinny, good night
“For as long as I can remember people have hated me. They looked at my face and my body and they ran away in horror. In my loneliness I decided that if I could not inspire love, which is my deepest hope, I would instead cause fear. I live because this poor half-crazed genius, has given me life. He alone held an image of me as something beautiful and then, when it would have been easy enough to stay out of danger, he used his own body as a guinea pig to give me a calmer brain and a somewhat more sophisticated way of expressing myself.”
— The Monster, Young Frankenstein
Tagged: Hate, Misunderstood, Hope, Genius, Beautiful, Sophisticated
“Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Throw... he third switch!

Igor: [shocked] Not the third switch!”
— Igor, Young Frankenstein
Tagged: Shock, fake shock
“Igor: Where are you going?

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: To wash up. I've got to look normal. [his bowtie pops open] We've all of us got to behave normally.”
— Igor, Young Frankenstein
Tagged: normal, abnormal, wash up
“Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What is this place?

Igor: Music room? [plucks violin string]”
— Igor, Young Frankenstein
Tagged: Music, violin
“I heard the strangest music from the upstairs kitchen and I just...followed it down. Call it...a hunch. Ba-dum chi.”
— Igor, Young Frankenstein
Tagged: rimshot, hunch, hunchback
“Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Have all the preparations been made for the transference?

Inga: Yes, doctor.

Igor: Are you sure you want to go through with this?

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: It's the only thing that can save him now.

Igor: You realize you're risking both your lives?

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [plays a sour note] Yes.”
— Igor, Young Frankenstein
Tagged: Risk, Transference
“Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Eyegor.

Igor: Froadrick.”
— Igor, Young Frankenstein
Tagged: Mispronunciations
“Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: With such a specimen for a body, all we need now is an equally magnificent brain. You know what to do?

Igor: I have a pretty good idea.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [pointing to Igor's hump] Good man. Didn't you, didn't you use to have that on the other side?

Igor: What?

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Your, uh, oh never mind.”
— Igor, Young Frankenstein
Tagged: Brain, humpback, hunchback
“Two nasty lookin' switches over there, but I'm not going to be the first.”
— Igor, Young Frankenstein
Tagged: Nasty, switches, Cowardice
“Igor: Sed-a...

Inga: Sed-a...

Igor: Dirty word! He said a dirty word!”
— Igor, Young Frankenstein
Tagged: Charades, sedative, dirty word
“My grandfather used to work for your grandfather. Of course the rates have gone up.”
— Igor, Young Frankenstein
Tagged: grandfather, Wages
“Wait, Master, it might be dangerous...you go first.”
— Igor, Young Frankenstein
Tagged: dangerous, Cowardice
“Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Are you ready?

Igor: Are you sure this is how they did it?

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Yes! It's all written down in the notes! Now tie off the kites and hurry down as fast as you can!

Igor: What's the hurry?

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: There's a possibility of electrocution! Do you understand? [no answer, shouts] I said, there is a possibility of electrocution! Do you understand?

Igor: [suddenly appears next to Frederick] I understand. I understand. Why are you shouting?”
— Dr. Frederick Frankenstein, Young Frankenstein
Tagged: Shouting, electrocution
“Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: That music...

Frau Blücher: Yes. It's in your blood - it's in the blood of ALL Frankensteins. It reaches the soul when words are useless. Your grandfather used to play it to the creature HE vas making.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Then it was you all the time.

Frau Blücher: Yes.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: You played that music in the middle of the night...

Frau Blücher: Yes.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: ...to get us to the laboratory.

Frau Blücher: Yes.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: That was YOUR cigar smoldering in the ashtray.

Frau Blücher: Yes.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: And it was you... who left my grandfather's book out for me to find.

Frau Blücher: Yes.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: So that I would...

Frau Blücher: Yes.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Then you and Victor were...

Frau Blücher: YES. YES. Say it. He vas my... BOYFRIEND.”
— Dr. Frederick Frankenstein, Young Frankenstein
Tagged: Boyfriend, violin, cigar, german accent
“Inspector Kemp: Vee had better confeerm de fect dat Yunk Frankenshtein iss indeed VALLOWING EEN EES GANDFADDA'S VOOTSHTAPS.

Villagers: What?

Inspector Kemp: Following in his grandfather's footsteps. [looks at blank faces] Footsteps! Footsteps!

Villagers: Ohhh. Footsteps.”
— Insp. Hans Wilhelm Friedrich Kamp, Young Frankenstein
Tagged: footsteps, german accent
“Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Damn your eyes.

Igor: [to camera] Too late.”
— Dr. Frederick Frankenstein, Young Frankenstein
Tagged: cockeye, Too Late, Damn
“[to The Monster] Honey, did you see I put another hamper in the bathroom? This one's for your shirts, the other's just for socks and poo-poo undies.”
— Elizabeth, Young Frankenstein
Tagged: hamper, undies, Domestic Bliss
“Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [to The Monster] Hello, handsome. You're a good-looking fellow, do you know that? People laugh at you, people hate you, but why do they hate you? Because...they are jealous. Look at that boyish face. Look at that sweet smile. Do you wanna talk about physical strength? Do you want to talk about sheer muscle? Do you want to talk about the Olympian ideal? You are a god. And listen to me, you are not evil. You...are...good. [the Monster starts to cry, and Dr. Frederick Frankenstein hugs him] This is a nice boy. This is a good boy. This is a mother's angel. And I want the world to know once and for all, and without any shame, that we love him. I'm going to teach you. I'm going to show you how to walk, how to speak, how to move, how to think. Together, you and I are going to make the greatest single contribution to science since the creation of fire.

Inga: [from outside] Dr. Fronkensteen! Are you all right!

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: MY NAME IS FRANKENSTEIN!”
— Dr. Frederick Frankenstein, Young Frankenstein
Tagged: angel, good boy, reassurance, Shame, Handsome
“Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Well, dear, are you ready?

Inga: Yes, Doctor.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Elevate me.

Inga: Now? Right here?

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Yes, yes, raise the platform.

Inga: Oh. Ze platform. Oh, zat, yah, yah... yes.”
— Dr. Frederick Frankenstein, Young Frankenstein
Tagged: elevate, Misheard, german accent
“[after failing to bring the creature to life]
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Nothing.

Inga: Oh, Doctor, I'm sorry.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No. No. Be of good cheer. If science teaches us anything, it teaches us to accept our failures, as well as our successes, with quiet dignity and grace. [starts beating up the creature] Son of a bitch! Bastard! I'll get you for this! What did you do to me? What did you do to me?

Inga: Stop it! Stop that! Stop it! You'll kill him!

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: I don't want to live. I do not want to live.

Igor: Quiet dignity and grace. [rolls eyes]

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Oh...mama...”
— Dr. Frederick Frankenstein, Young Frankenstein
Tagged: Anger, Science, Failure, dignity, Grace
“Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Igor, help me with the bags.

Igor: [Imitating Groucho Marx] Certainly. You take the blonde, I'll take the one in the turban.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: I was talking about the luggage.”
— Dr. Frederick Frankenstein, Young Frankenstein
Tagged: bags, Women, Groucho Marx, blonde
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