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Next Friday Quotes

“Mr. Jones: Now Craig, it's gonna be different living out here. Don't let your uncle or your cousin get you in any shit. Now you hear me?

Craig Jones: Pops, I'm grown now, can't nobody get me in trouble no more.

Mr. Jones: Well, I'm glad you said that son, but since you grown, don't bring your black ass back home.”
— Craig Jones, Next Friday
Tagged: Shit, black ass
“Craig Jones: What's that smell?

Mr. Jones: Must be your upper lip, son, I don't smell nothing.

Craig Jones: Ew, I do! It smell like you didn't fall in no mud!

Mr. Jones: [while spraying air freshener] Just use some of this spray, son.

Craig Jones: Aw, too much! [Trying to get the window open] What's wrong with this window?

Mr. Jones: It's broken, remind me to get it fixed.

Craig Jones: [Struggling to get the window open] Damn!”
— Craig Jones, Next Friday
Tagged: Smell, feces, air freshener
“Roach: [At the Joker’s house door] Knock.

Day-Day: You want me to knock?

Roach: Well, knock.

[Day-Day knocks at the door slightly]

Roach: You're acting like a little bitch right now man, they're not gonna hear that, the music is playing.

Day-Day: Excuse me partner, that was a fuckin' ghetto knock I just did.

Roach: I'm gonna show you how to knock on a door.

Day-Day: Hey, hey no stop.

Baby Joker: [Inside the house when Roach is banging on their door with his feet] Yeah, rub that shit.

Joker: [He hears Roach banging his door and gets his gun] I hear something? Fuckin' shit. Yeah I got to do everything around here, SHIT! Ruining my flow.

Girl #1: [Talking to Lil Joker when kissing her neck] Right there.

Joker: [When talking to his brothers] Hey you lover boys, YOU HEAR THAT SHIT?

Day-Day: [Talking to Roach about banging the door with his feet] Motherfucker you better stop, they're gonna think we're the police in there.

Roach: It gets results.

Joker: [the brothers opening the door at a gunpoint] The fuck do you want?

Day-Day: We came to borrow some sugar.

Joker: Does this look like a fuckin' 7-Eleven to you, homes? Do you see a Red-Dot on my Forehead my friend? Do you see an ATM in the corner that doesn't work? DO YOU? NO, YOU DON'T SO FUCK YOU MY FRIEND. Get the fuck outta here Day-Day, and you too, Slim Shady.

Day-Day: No problem, we're gone.

Roach: Hold on, just a second, hey man you've run over my skateboard. I DON'T APPRECIATE THAT, ALL RIGHT!

Joker: What?

Day-Day: [the Joker brothers grab him and Roach and get them inside their house] Oh no, that's that bullshit, man it ain't like...”
— Joker, Next Friday
Tagged: Bitch, Bullshit, Fuck You, 7-11
“Day-Day: [shaking hands with Roach] I've knew we've never will be together forever, you're a cool Puerto Rican dude.

Baby Joker: Falta feria, güey.

Joker: ¡QUE! [Looks at Day-Day and Roach] ¡PINCHES HIJOS DE PUTA, CABRONES!

Day-Day: What?

Joker: We're saying, you're fucked ese! You're staying with us!

Day-Day: Aw, man.

Joker: Baby Joker, get the duct tape homes.

Baby Joker: Orale, carnal.

Joker: It's on my bed homes, I was using it earlier.

Day-Day: Shit, man!

Lil Joker: [Talking to the girls] Hey and you, got put your clothes back on, all right!”
— Joker, Next Friday
Tagged: Kidnapping, Fucked, Puerto Rican
“Count my money or party with bitches. Hundred and fitties or big ass titties. Count the green or get in between those titties.”
— Joker, Next Friday
Tagged: Bitches, Titties, counting money
“Mailman: [knocks on door].

Mailman: Delivery, got a delivery.

[rings doorbell twice]

Craig Jones: Who is it?

Mailman: Got a delivery. Come on smart blood. Come on I got a delivery, its kind of hot out here buddy.

[Craig opens the door]

Mailman: Come on sparky.

Craig Jones: What's up?!

Mailman: Nice house. I didn't expect you to answer it, but this is a fine place here. What are you, one of those uh, entertainer guys, huh. What do you play sports? What team do you play for?

Craig Jones: I play for the Cucamonga Cracker Killers. You want tickets...

Mailman: [waves his hand] Hey don't want any trouble with you. You don't have to send your posse out here to do a 187 in my ass. Just uh, got a little mail for you to sign.[puts both hands up] Partner!

Craig Jones: What's this?

Mailman: Uh, that's what they call a delinquent property tax notice. I hope the crack killers pay well. Otherwise it's back to the ghetto you go. Uh, take it easy.

[starts singing a tune and walks away]”
— Craig Jones, Next Friday
Tagged: Mailman, Delivery, Anti-White
“Craig Jones: [in Craig's hallucination showing Karla giving him a lap dance] You heard of El Nino?

Karla Joker: [Speaking seductively] Yeah...

Craig Jones: This is El Negro. Come on down here and let me tap that ass.”
— Craig Jones, Next Friday
Tagged: El Nino, El Negro, Tap That Ass
“Deebo: Here come that dog truck. Shut your mouth! We about to fade to black.

Craig Jones: [as Craig notices Deebo standing in front of the truck] Daddy, stop!

[Mr. Jones screams]

Deebo: Get your punk-ass out of the car Craig, this is the rematch! Get out of the car!

Craig Jones: Punch it!

Tyrone: [as Mr. Jones drives away] Deebo! Help!

Craig Jones: Fake-ass Suge Knight!

Deebo: [yelling out before kicking his brother in the stomach] You know I gonna find you and when I do, I'm gonna put my foot up in your ass! [Looking down at his brother] Man, get up!

Tyrone: Damn! Man, I'm tired. I'm goin to mommy's house.

Deebo: [pulling him by the chain on his leg] Come on!

Tyrone: [Yelling at Deebo] No! No!

Mr. Jones: [on the way to Rancho Cucamonga] Did you see That! Those two niggas were acting like pit bull dogs!”
— Craig Jones, Next Friday
Tagged: fake-ass, Suge Knight, Nigga, Pit Bulls
“[discussion about Day-Day's ex]

Craig Jones: Psycho, huh? She must be worst than Left Eye from TLC or somethin'.

Day-Day: Yeah, well, this fat bitch ain't burnin'!”
— Craig Jones, Next Friday
Tagged: fat, Bitch, Lisa "Left Eye" Lopez, TLC, psycho
“Day-Day: I got the BGs.

Craig Jones: What's the BGs?

Day-Day: The bubble guts, I'm nervous and I'm bout to shit on myself.”
— Craig Jones, Next Friday
Tagged: bubble guts, Shit
“Look, we cousins and everything, but don't be hooking me up with the *little* sister that's bigger than the *big* sister!”
— Craig Jones, Next Friday
Tagged: hookups, little sister, Big Sister
“Uncle Elroy: [Suga falls on Craig's lap, face-down] Negro, what the hell you doing with my woman?

Craig: I don't know. I must have...shit.

Uncle Elroy: Suga? What the hell you doing with my nephew?

Suga: I'm sorry, baby. I thought it was you.

Uncle Elroy: Come on, baby. I'm faded, feeling X-rated. It's Mr. Nasty Time.

Suga: Mr. Nasty Time!

Uncle Elroy: Mr. Nasty Time. But take it easy on my back. [to Craig] Make yourself at home, nephew.”
— Craig Jones, Next Friday
Tagged: negro, Shit, nephew, x-rated
“Shit, nigga had me scared, but I held my own, fuck that.”
— Pinky, Next Friday
Tagged: Shit, Nigga, Scared, Fuck
“Pinky: Looky here, baby. You're hittin' them corners too goddamn fast. You need to slow this motherfucker down, you understand? I almost spilled my 'yak on this $200 suit, nigger. Come on, baby, keep it together.

Pinky's Chauffeur: Yeah, whatever, motherfucker.”
— Pinky, Next Friday
Tagged: motherfucking, nigger, Speeding
“Pinky: [points a gun to Craig's head] Don't move! Or I'll blow your goddamn head smooth off. Now back up. Slowly! Don't say a word.

Craig Jones: But I was jus...

Pinky: [cuts Craig off] I said don't say a word!

Pinky: [giggles] Little muthafucka gonna try and rob me. Well I'm-a show you how we do it here in Pinky's *noogah*.

Craig Jones: I wasn't trying to...

Pinky: [cuts Craig off] Shut up! Before I bust a cap in yo' ass. Now what'chu been done wit' Day-Day and Roach?

Craig Jones: Day-Day is my peep...

Pinky: [cuts Craig off] Shut up! Now who sent you, nigga?

Craig Jones: Nobody sen...

Pinky: [cuts Craig off] Shut the fu...Did I say…Ohhh, nigga! I'll...oh, shit! Say something! Say something else, nigga! I'm-a tie yo' monkey ass up.”
— Pinky, Next Friday
Tagged: motherfucking, Death Threats, Nigga
“Pinky: [sobbing] Day-Day...is this your cousin?

Day-Day: [worried] Yeah, that's my cousin...

Pinky: Good, 'cause you're fired!

Day-Day: Who, me?

Pinky: And Roach, you're fired, too! [Roach and Day-Day chattering] Oh, I heard that! Say it again! Say it again! [looks at Craig] I was just about to bust a cap in your ass. Give me back my motherfucking pistol. Fuck out my store.”
— Pinky, Next Friday
Tagged: cousin, You're Fired, motherfucking, pistol
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