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Little Giants Quotes

“Rudy Zolteck: How’d I do, coach?

Kevin O’Shea: I don’t know son. I don’t have a sundial.”
— Rudy Zolteck, Little Giants
Tagged: sundial, tryouts, slow
“Sean Murphy: [as The Cowboys have possession of the ball; to Rudy] Get ready, dog breath. Because when I’m finished with you, you’ll be farting out of your mouth and talking out of your butt!

Rudy Zolteck: [to Tad] Is that physically possible?

[the Cowboys hike the ball and Spike gains enough yards for a first down; during the play, Murphy sends Rudy flying and landing on his face; After the play, the Little Giants check on Rudy, who’s still down]

Tad: Are you all right?

Rudy Zolteck: [Talking out of his butt] I think so.

Tad: [Impressed] Huh! Guess it is possible.”
— Rudy Zolteck, Little Giants
Tagged: Dog Breath, Fart, Mouth, butt
“Briggs: Ready! Set! Go!

[Kevin takes off in a charging sprint toward a couch cushion, held by Karen]

Karen O’Shea: Kevin! Aah!

[Karen lets go of the cushion and Kevin goes flying out the window, landing crotch-first on a tree limb]

Kevin O’Shea: Oh! Doctor!

[in pain, he tilts and falls into their pool]”
— Rudy Zolteck, Little Giants
Tagged: Slapstick, Ow! My Balls
“Here’s a kiss for Murphey. And for Patterson and Briggs, too. [Farts loudly]”
— Rudy Zolteck, Little Giants
Tagged: kiss, Fart, Gross
“That’s it, I’m leaving the country. I’m moving to New Mexico.”
— Rudy Zolteck, Little Giants
Tagged: Expatriation, New Mexico
“Karen O’Shea: Kevin, this is pee wee football. It’s supposed to be fun.

Kevin O’Shea: Not fun anymore. See, all the fun is gone now. See now, it’s war!”
— Kevin O'Shea, Little Giants
Tagged: Pee Wee Football, Fun, War
“Kevin O’Shea: [Spike has gotten the Cowboys penalized for a personal foul on the Little Giants] Hammersmith, if that kid of yours pulls another stunt like that again, you are both out of here.

Mike Hammersmith: Hey, come on! I thought you wanted to win!

Kevin O’Shea: Not like that.”
— Kevin O'Shea, Little Giants
Tagged: Winning, Cheating
“Kevin O’Shea: Peanut butter and jelly sandwich? Are you nuts?

Rudy Zolteck: It’s still good!

Kevin O’Shea: You’ll never get anywhere treating your helmet like a lunchbox, son? What is that?

Butz: Cheeto’s.

Kevin O’Shea: Crunchy or puffed?

Butz: Puffed.

Kevin O’Shea: Wimp!

[Butz confiscates the food and walks off]

Rudy Zolteck: My mom made that!”
— Kevin O'Shea, Little Giants
Tagged: Cheeto's, Peanut Butter, wimp
“Butz: [spying on the Giants] This is incredible! They got the guards in the backfield! The center’s on the right! And the quarterback isn’t even there!

Kevin O’Shea: They’re just standing around, Butz.

Butz: Oh, yeah.”
— Kevin O'Shea, Little Giants
Tagged: Football, quarterback, backfield
“Becky O’Shea: [quietly doing a cheer] Give me a J. Give me a U. Give me a…

Danny O’Shea: Is that lipstick?

Becky O’Shea: No. It’s a cherry Tootsie Pop.”
— Danny O'Shea, Little Giants
Tagged: Tootsie Pop
“Danny O’Shea: I don’t know, but I’ve been told.

Little Giants: Butz’s butt is green with mold.

Danny O’Shea: You say thank you I say please.

Little Giants: Kevin sits down when he pees.”
— Danny O'Shea, Little Giants
Tagged: butt, mold, Pee, Rhyme
“Danny O’Shea: Hey, I got an idea. How about we go put some mud tires on the go cart?

Becky O’Shea: Nah. I don’t want to.

Danny O’Shea: Alright, forget the tires. How about we go camping in the woods! Make moose sounds?

Becky O’Shea: Nah.

Danny O’Shea: All right, forget the moose sounds.”
— Danny O'Shea, Little Giants
Tagged: Tires, Woods, Moose Sounds, Come-ons, Flirting
“Danny O’Shea: [Kevin and Danny are racing to claim the new player] This whole town may love you, but I’m the only one who knows how truly sick you are!

Kevin O’Shea: I treated you like a prince!

Danny O’Shea: You ignored me!

Kevin O’Shea: I took you to see the Cleveland Indians!

Danny O’Shea: You left me at the stadium!”
— Danny O'Shea, Little Giants
Tagged: Sick, Cleveland Indians, Ignored, Abandoned
“Danny O’Shea: [disguising his voice as a little old lady] State police? Oh, thank God! My name is Thelma Mae Rogers, I’m 86 years old, I live in Urbania. There are two men down the bridge from the Shell station spying on some kids! [passes the phone to Timmy, who starts to ‘cry’] I just don’t think it’s right for men their age to be parading around in their underwear!

Timmy Moore: Please, hurry!

Danny O’Shea: Oh no! [hangs up the phone] Nice job, Timmy. [they high-five]”
— Danny O'Shea, Little Giants
Tagged: State Police, Shell Station, Underwear, high five
“Danny O’Shea: [Recruiting Timmy] Do you play football?

Timmy Moore: No.

Danny O’Shea: Do you like football?

Timmy Moore: No.

Danny O’Shea: Do you want to play football?

Timmy Moore: No.

Danny O’Shea: Great, you can be on our team.”
— Danny O'Shea, Little Giants
Tagged: Football, Aloof
“[Danny is introducing the Little Giants to their parents]

Danny O’Shea: Rudy Zoleteck, your friendly neighborhood gas man!

Mr. Zolteck: Gas man? I don’t get it.

Mrs. Zolteck: Think about it.”
— Danny O'Shea, Little Giants
Tagged: friendly, Neighborhood, gas man
“[receiving their uniforms]

Tad: Death shrouds.

[flips one around]

Danny O’Shea: They’ve got your names on the back.

Jake Berman: So the guys at the morgue can identify the bodies.

Mike Hammersmith: What’s that cheerleader doing with a helmet on?

Kevin O’Shea: That’s no cheerleader, that’s my niece Becky. She’s pissed.”
— Danny O'Shea, Little Giants
Tagged: Morgue, helmet, Cheerleader, Pissed
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