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Andy Griffith Quotes

Total quotes: 11
“Well, what would ANY husband say to his widow? Thank her for the nice funeral she gave you, for the kind words on your headstone. Why, you got a lot to talk about. Look alive, now.”
— Sheriff Andy Taylor, The Andy Griffith Show, season 1: Opie's Charity
Tagged: husband, Widow, headstone, Morbid
“Oh, Aunt Bee, what they got in mind for me is as clear as the nose on a warthog's face.”
— Sheriff Andy Taylor, The Andy Griffith Show, season 1: Irresistible Andy
Tagged: clear as the nose on a warthog's face
“I once knew a horse that didn't even know how to fix a sore finger. Played a great guitar, but was nothin' with first aid.”
— Sheriff Andy Taylor, The Andy Griffith Show, season 1: Runaway Kid
Tagged: Horse, Surreal, Guitar
“Ernest T. Bass: I'm no account, Andy. I'm no-count.

Sheriff Andy Taylor: You're not no-count, Earnest. You're just... ignorant, that's all.

Ernest T. Bass: Aw, you're being kind.”
— Sheriff Andy Taylor, The Andy Griffith Show, Season 5: The Education of Ernest T. Bass
Tagged: No-Account, ignorant
“Barney, you want my honest opinion? I don't believe that dog can find his own food dish.”
— Sheriff Andy Taylor, The Andy Griffith Show, Season 5: Barney's Bloodhound
Tagged: honest opinion, dumb dog
“I don't want him to be the kind of boy lookin' for fights, but I don't want him to run from one when he's in the right.”
— Sheriff Andy Taylor, The Andy Griffith Show, Season 2: Opie and the Bully
Tagged: bullies, Self-Defense
“Sheriff Andy Taylor: Look at him go. He's a strange one.

Recruiting Sergeant: He's a wild one.

Deputy Barney Fife: He's a nut.”
— Sheriff Andy Taylor, The Andy Griffith Show, Season 4: Ernest T. Bass Joins the Army
Tagged: strange, Wild, Nut
“You better hush. I'll arrest you for bein' a disorderly corpse.”
— Sheriff Andy Taylor, The Andy Griffith Show, season 1: Opie's Charity
Tagged: Hush, Disorderly Corpse
“Sheriff Andy Taylor: Now I'm warning you, if you throw one more rock...

Ernest T. Bass: I promise you Sheriff, I won't throw one more rock. [Sheriff Taylor walks away]

Ernest T. Bass: Didn't say nothin' 'bout no brick!”
— Sheriff Andy Taylor, The Andy Griffith Show, Season 6: Malcolm at the Crossroads
Tagged: throwing rocks, promises, Literal
“Deputy Barney Fife: You'll never guess what's happened. Something big.

Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, what is it?

Deputy Barney Fife: Biggest thing ever happened in Mayberry. REAL big. Big. BIG big.

Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, now, now just simmer down, Barney. What is it?

Deputy Barney Fife: Well, I'm tryin' to tell ya.

Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, so far, all I know is it's something big.

Deputy Barney Fife: Oh, 'big' ain't the word for it.”
— Sheriff Andy Taylor, The Andy Griffith Show, season 1: The Manhunt
Tagged: big, Hinting, Beating around the bush
“Mr. Carter: Course I know the reason I'm shootin' at him.

Andy Taylor: Well, how come?

Mr. Carter: Cause he's a Wakefield.

Andy Taylor: What does that mean to you?

Mr. Carter: It means I gotta shoot at him.

Andy Taylor: Well why do you have to shoot at him?

Mr. Carter: Cause he's a Wakefield.”
— Sheriff Andy Taylor, The Andy Griffith Show, season 1: A Feud is a Feud
Tagged: family feuds
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