1. People
    2.  › 
  2. Vince Calandra

Vince Calandra Quotes

Total quotes: 27
“You Babies are so dumb, I'm suprised you even know which end of the bottle to suck!”
— Angelica Pickles, Rugrats, Season 2: King Ten Pin
Tagged: dumb, bottle, Stupid, Sassy, Diss
“Rocko: Come on, Hef. Let's go. I think I'm bleeding internally.”
— Rocko (voice), Rocko's Modern Life, Season 1: Carnival Knowledge / Sand in Your Nave
“They grow so fast, then leave ya. You just hope you raise them right.”
— Ren Höek (voice), The Ren & Stimpy Show, Season 5: I Was a Teenage Stimpy / Who's Stupid Now?
“Heffer Wolfe: Give me another double order of fries.

Bartender: Sorry, pal. I think you've had enough.

Heffer Wolfe: I'll tell you when I've had enough, you greasy plate jockey!”
— Heffer Wolfe (voice), Rocko's Modern Life, Season 1: Who's for Dinner? / Love Spanked
“President Richard Nixon once said, 'People react to fear, not love.' Easy for him to say because he was kinda scary and nobody loved him.”
— Mike Baxter, Last Man Standing, Season 4: Sinkhole
Tagged: Richard Nixon, Fear, Love
“We need to talk about your daughters. One of them is dangerous and the other ones in danger.”
— Vickery, Sharp Objects, Season 1: Closer
Tagged: danger, daughters, dangerous
“My mama says all of history was written by men, so of course they're gonna make themselves look good.”
— Amma Crellin, Sharp Objects, Season 1: Ripe
Tagged: History, History Is Written By The Winners, feminism
“Waitress: Will there be anything else, sir?

Heffer Wolfe: [referring to a pair of chopsticks] Yeah, these plastic things can't cut my burrito.”
— Heffer Wolfe (voice), Rocko's Modern Life, Season 1: No Pain, No Gain / Who Gives a Buck
“Ed Alzate: With this water purifier they can drink their own pee.

Mike Baxter: Or river water, or lake water. But by all means, use the pee as a selling point.”
— Mike Baxter, Last Man Standing, Season 4: Sinkhole
Tagged: water purifiers, Pee, selling point
“Eve Baxter: Stick around. You'll learn something about the world.

Mandy Baxter: I know all about the world. I was already in it while you were still busy ruining Mom's body.”
— Mandy Baxter, Last Man Standing, Season 4: Sinkhole
Tagged: Condescension, Pregnancy, insults
“Vanessa Baxter: Eve is opening doors for women.

Kristin Baxter: Hmm, just like Hillary Clinton.

Mike Baxter: Well, Hillary better knock... make sure Bill's got his pants on.”
— Kristin Baxter, Last Man Standing, Season 4: Rediscover America
Tagged: Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, glass ceiling
“Football on, women setting the table, why can't every day be Thanksgiving?”
— Mike Baxter, Last Man Standing, Season 3: Thanksgiving
Tagged: Football, gender roles, Thanksgiving
“All right, all right, to all my winos, gamblers and drug dealers, Happy Thanksgiving.”
— Mike Baxter, Last Man Standing, Season 3: Thanksgiving
Tagged: winos, Gamblers, Drug Dealers, Happy Thanksgiving, Toast
“I'm an unconventional girl. That's what you like about me.”
— Camille Preaker, Sharp Objects, Season 1: Ripe
Tagged: Femme Fatale, Being Different, doing things your own way
“Rocko: We don't need some hoity-toity health club to stay in shape, eh, Heff?

Heffer Wolfe: No way, man! Care for another slice of pizza?

Rocko: I'm feeling the burn!

Heffer Wolfe: Yeah, you should blow on it first. The cheese is hot.”
— Heffer Wolfe (voice), Rocko's Modern Life, Season 1: No Pain, No Gain / Who Gives a Buck
“Heffer Wolfe: [writing Rocko's personals ad] Marsupial with big hairy chest seeking female with same. Will suck the fillings out of your teeth if you let me. I am adventurous and will try anything once. Twice if you're lucky!”
— Heffer Wolfe (voice), Rocko's Modern Life, Season 1: Who's for Dinner? / Love Spanked
“...death is life's great reward!”
— Ren Höek (voice), The Ren & Stimpy Show, Season 5: Terminal Stimpy / Pen Pals
“Mandy Baxter: Wait a sec. Eve's in the paper, Dad's in a magazine. Sorry, did this whole family get a publicist and not tell me?

Eve Baxter: You don't need a publicist. Aren't you mentioned in a lot of limericks?

Mandy Baxter: Joke's on you. I don't know what a limerick is.”
— Mandy Baxter, Last Man Standing, Season 4: Rediscover America
Tagged: limericks, publicity, joke's on you
“When I was a kid, I wanted to be a vet, and I volunteered at this animal shelter. I'd see the animals come in burned, tortured, mutilated. I got less interested in treating the animals and more interested in catching the animals who did that to 'em.”
— Richard Willis, Sharp Objects, Season 1: Ripe
Tagged: Compassion, Protecting People, Police, Cops, Why Cops Do What They Do
“Boyd Baxter: I'm doing a class project on what we're thankful for.

Kristin Baxter: He want's to do a video like your vlogs for Outdoor Man.

Mike Baxter: Everybody's thankful for those.

Boyd Baxter: I like the one where the president needs to pull his head out of Putin's butt.”
— Mike Baxter, Last Man Standing, Season 3: Thanksgiving
Tagged: Vlogs, outdoor man, class project
“Mike Baxter: [after almost driving into a sinkhole] Oh, man! You good? It's all good. It's all good. Hold on a second. [puts car in reverse and pushes Boyd back into his seat] Get back in there. Sit back down. [after backing away from the sinkhole] Okay, listen, you sure you're all right?

Boyd Baxter: Yes, except for when you karate chopped me in the chest.”
— Mike Baxter, Last Man Standing, Season 4: Sinkhole
Tagged: Driving, bad driving, Accidents, Karate
“Ed Bighead: [looking through binoculars] Bev, I can't believe it! Do you know what that weirdo next door is up to?

Bev Bighead: Oh, shut up and mind your own business, Ed.

Ed Bighead: But, Bev, they're, well... uh... nude!

Bev Bighead: [looks through Ed's binoculars] Oh, Ed, oh, you're right! Oh, yes! This is disgusting! Quick, Ed, get the telescope out of the hall closet.”
— Ed Bighead (voice) / Bev Bighead (voice), Rocko's Modern Life, Season 1: Leap Frogs / Bedfellows
“Eve Baxter: [reading the newspaper] Why can't the people in the Middle East keep it together?

Mandy Baxter: [reading a celeb gossip magazine] Why can't Taylor Swift hold onto a boyfriend?

Eve Baxter: Why can't North Korea join the rest of the world community?

Mandy Baxter: Why can't Courteney Cox join the Friends cast reunion?

Eve Baxter: Why can't Putin keep his shirt on?

Mandy Baxter: Why can't Channing Tatum keep his shirt on?”
— Eve Baxter, Last Man Standing, Season 4: Sinkhole
Tagged: newspaper, Middle East, north korea, courteney cox, Friends, Vladimir Putin, channing tatum, Taylor Swift
“Vanessa Baxter: Mike, I thought there was supposed to be an article about you in the Denver Business Weekly?

Mike Baxter: The guy needed more time. Apparently, five thousand words isn't enough to take in all of this.

Vanessa Baxter: Well, that's the price you pay for being so fascinating.

Mike Baxter: Thank goodness you're a geologist. You dodged that bullet.”
— Vanessa Baxter, Last Man Standing, Season 4: Rediscover America
Tagged: denver business weeklyl, fascinating, geologist, dodged a bullet
“Mike Baxter: Okay, what Supreme Court justice do we want to retire?

Boyd Baxter: Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

Mike Baxter: Nice! And what are the five justices that we want to stay on forever?

Boyd Baxter: Don't tell me, I know this one...

Mike Baxter: I gave you a little hint, remember? The star method? S-T-A-R. Who are the stars of the Supreme Court?

Boyd Baxter: Scalia, Thomas, Alito, and Roberts.

Mike Baxter: Plus Kennedy, when he doesn't listen to the ladies. Which is a trick you'll learn when you get a little older.”
— Mike Baxter, Last Man Standing, Season 4: Sinkhole
Tagged: supreme court justices, antonin scalia, ruth bader ginsburg, Clarence Thomas
“Kyle Anderson: Ya know, you gotta give it up for Columbus. Discoverin' the New World.

Mike Baxter: Well, I'll give him this, he's a good salesman.

Kyle Anderson: I think you mean sailo.

Mike Baxter: No, I mean salesman. He was an Italian, got the Spanish to pay for three trips to India, which he never found. That's a good salesman.”
— Kyle Anderson, Last Man Standing, Season 4: Rediscover America
Tagged: christopher columbus, India, spanish, italian, Sailor, salesman
“Rocko: I know the secret for getting rid of stage fright!

Filburt Shellbach: You do? Tell me, tell me!

Rocko: Just picture the audience... naked!

[Rocko pushes Filburt on stage, but Filburt freezes up and goes back]

Filburt Shellbach: I can't do it. It's way too disgusting.

[Rocko pokes his head out of the curtain]

Rocko: Yuck! Open mic night is a very dangerous night.”
— Filburt Turtle (voice), Rocko's Modern Life, Season 2: The Lounge Singer / She's the Toad
loading next page...