John Stephenson Quotes

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John Stephenson

John Stephenson

Character

Educated At Northwestern University School Of Communication, University Of Wisconsin–Madison, University Of Wisconsin Law School

Nationality United States Of America, United States

Occupations Television Actor, Voice Actor, Actor, Television Actor & Sex Girl, Abusador

Characters Portrayed

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Total quotes (2)

Bartender... rocks over rocks. And bartender... put that in a dirty glass.

— Perry Gunite (John Stephenson), The Flintstones, Season 1: Love Letters on the Rocks

Bartender Drinking dirty glass

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[Inside Buddy Buddy Jewelry & department store building]
Store Customer: Thanks. May I have my collateral back now?

Clerk: There you are, Mister Slate.

Store Customer: Hi, children.

[after his son & daughter are brought back to him, they speak, calling him daddy]
Store Customer: Come home, children. Mama will make some nice pop-up toast for you.

[then his family leave the store]

— Mr. Slate (John Stephenson), The Flintstones, Season 1: The Engagement Ring

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Related quotes to John Stephenson tagged Bartender, Drinking

I feel like this job is beneath me. I'm a bartender. I do, like, you know, great things.

— Angelina Pivarnick, Jersey Shore, Season 1: The Tanned Triangle

Jobs employed Bartender Alcohol

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That was the year I was left at the altar. The year I was beat up by a crazy bartender. The year I got fired. The year I got beat up by a goat, a girl goat at that. And dammit, if it wasn't the best year of my life.

— Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor), How I Met Your Mother, Season 4: The Leap

Life Left at the Altar Bartender Fired Best Year Of My Life

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Roman: I don't need cocktails for that. Was that a shot?

Chet: No, that was the truth.

Roman: Oh, that was a shot!

Chet: That...was a shot.

Roman: [to the bartender] Speaking of shots, set us up!

— Roman Craig (Dan Aykroyd), The Great Outdoors

shots Truth Bartender

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A penguin walks into a bar. The bartender says, ‘So what will it be this time?’ The penguin doesn’t answer because it’s a penguin.

— Unknown, 50 Hilarious ‘Anti-Jokes’ That Will Offend Literally Everyone

Penguin Bartender Anti-Jokes

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Nothing beats the heat like a chilled cocktail.

— Paula Forbes, How to Keep Your Drinks Cold When It's Way Too F*cking Hot Out

Drinks Bartender Advice Drinking Summer

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Guy is sitting in a bar when the bartender notices the empty glass in front of him. "Care for another?" the bartender asks. Guy replies "why would I want two empty glasses?"

— cheluhu, Guy is sitting in a bar when the bartender notices the empty glass in front of him. "Care for another?" the bartender asks.

Drinking Bartender

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Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.

— Ron Swanson (Nick Offerman), Parks and Recreation, Season 4: Win, Lose, or Draw

Scotch Hard Liquor Drinking Alcohol Quips

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More drinking, less feeling.

— Mick Rory / Heat Wave (Dominic Purcell), DC's Legends of Tomorrow, Season 1: Fail-Safe

Drinking Culture Drinking Feeling Alcohol Intoxicated emotions joke

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Heather: I drink, I cuss, I sleep around. What are you going to do about it?

Nun: I don't think you do any of those things.

Heather: I use the b word sometimes.

Nun: Who hasn't?

— Heather (Allisyn Ashley Arm), A.P. Bio, Season 2: Nuns

Cuss Drinking B-Word

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To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!

— Homer Simpson (Dan Castellaneta), The Simpsons, Season 8: Homer vs. The Eighteenth Amendment

Alcohol Drinking solution Life Problems

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I don’t need a birthday. ’Cause I buy myself all the presents I need....And because of my drinking, they’re often a surprise.

— Tracy Jordan (Tracy Morgan), 30 Rock, Season 3: Goodbye, My Friend

birthday Birthday Presents Drinking

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Drinking may make the pain go away, but it doesn’t last.

— Adrienne Blane, 7 Things We All Need To Realize About Mental Illness

Mental Health Drinking Alcohol

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There’s too many things I enjoy doing and I don’t want to wake up feeling hungover.

— Joaquin Phoenix, The Weird Brilliance of Joaquin Phoenix

Alcohol Hangovers Drinking

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TO GET RugghhbIGGITY RIGGITY WRECKED SOONN

— Rick Sanchez (voice) (Justin Roiland), Rick and Morty, Season 1: Ricksy Business

Drinking party crazy Wrecked

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I drink to make other people more interesting.

— Ernest Hemingway, How To Be Interesting: Simple Ways to Increase Your Personal Appeal

Drinking Alcohol interesting

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Show me a nation whose national beverage is beer, and I’ll show you an advanced toilet technology.

— Mark Hawkins, Toasts: Over 1,500 of the Best Toasts, Sentiments, Blessings, and Graces

Beer Drinking Beer Is Culture

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Here's to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life.

— F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Beautiful and Damned: A Twentieth Century Classic

Drinking Alcohol Optimism

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In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.

— Benjamin Franklin, The Biggest Joke Book Ever

Drinking Freedom Water Wine Beer

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Good people drink good beer.

— Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

Drinking Beer Alcohol

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Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

— W.C. Fields, Chuckle, Giggle, Snort!: Quips Collected By Karen Money Williams

Drinking Beer believing

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24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

— Steven Wright, The Beer Devotional: A Daily Celebration of the World's Most Inspiring Beers

Drinking coincidence Beer

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Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol.

— N.F. Simpson, Blind Terror

Drinking Reality Illusion Alcohol

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Religion is a non-alcoholic man's alcohol. Alcohol is a non-religious man's religion.

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana, Divided & Conquered

Drinking Religion Alcohol

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