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Joey Gutierrez Quotes

Total quotes: 5
“Ryan: Scared of a little boy?

Mike Baxter: This coming from the guy who took one look at him and left for three years.”
— Mike Baxter, Last Man Standing, Season 4: Big Shots
Tagged: Fear, sissy, coward
“Vanessa Baxter: Can you believe there's another Kardashian?

Mike Baxter: Like cars, comes out with a new model every year, got that new Kardashian smell.”
— Vanessa Baxter, Last Man Standing, Season 4: Big Shots
Tagged: kardashian, new car, Smell
“Mike Baxter: Acne's not contagious.

Mandy Baxter: I don't know that, kids at school stayed away from them, treated them like leopards.

Vanessa Baxter: I think you mean leper.

Mandy Baxter: The D's silent, I didn't know that.”
— Mandy Baxter, Last Man Standing, Season 4: Big Shots
Tagged: leper, leopard, Acne, Contagious
“Eve Baxter: Little girl? You're lucky this rifle was chained down or you'd be limping out of here carrying a concealed weapon.

Kyle Anderson: I don't understand.

Mandy Baxter: She's gonna put it up your butt.”
— Eve Baxter, Last Man Standing, Season 4: Big Shots
Tagged: Guns, concealed weapon, butt
“Those of you waging a war against vaccinations, you're going to lose that war, vaccines won the Revolutionary War. See at that time there was a big outbreak of smallpox, not to be confused with great pox, which is what they called syphilis, that led to the great 18th century pick up line, 'Come on baby, it's only smallpox.' Anyhoo, the British had a natural immunity to small pox, so in a early version of biological warfare, they would intentionally spread the disease to our colonists by sneezing in public or borrowing our Chapstick. We had our own secret weapon: George Washington. He would inoculate the troops using a technique called variolation. If you're eating right now I'd suggest you put down that fork. Because variolation is where you poke one of your infected buddy's infected sores and insert the goo under your own healthy skin. This led to the popular 18th century expression, 'This century is gross!' But it worked. The small pox rates plummeted and we won the war. So you see if it hadn't been for vaccinations we would have lost the war, we'd all be British, football would be soccer, we'd be eating bangers and mash, and 'spotted dick' would be dessert.”
— Mike Baxter, Last Man Standing, Season 4: Big Shots
Tagged: variolation, George Washington, Revolutionary War, Spotted Dick, Syphilis, ChapStick
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