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Dan Sterling Quotes

Total quotes: 13
“Your heart is telling you?! Who's the boss, you or your heart? You are! Your heart is your employee! So get your heart off its butt and back to work!”
— Hank Hill, King of the Hill, Season 1: Luanne's Saga
Tagged: Head, heart
“Sometimes being stuck in my own head is so exhausting that it makes me want to cry.”
— Marnie Michaels, Girls, Season 1: Weirdos Need Girlfriends Too
Tagged: exhausting, self-absorption, Solipsism, Bourgeois problems, Rich Girl Problems
“Dang it, I am sick and tired of everyone's asinine ideas about me. I'm not a redneck, and I'm not some Hollywood jerk. I'm something else entirely. I'm... I'm complicated!”
— Hank Hill (voice), King of the Hill, Season 9: A Rover Runs Through It
Tagged: Redneck, hollywood jerk
“I know you saw me with the Senator. I think I'm in love, possibly for the first time. So yes, Senator Lipton and I are having an affair. I hope that I can count on your sensitivity, maturity, and discretion.”
— Oscar Martinez, The Office, Season 9: The Boat
Tagged: affair, Love, Sensitivity, maturity, Discretion, Secret, Drama
“Chef: Now children, gather around, and watch the wonders of life. The beauty of Mother Nature.

[The pig is heard squealing loudly]

Stan: Ah, sick!

Cartman: Fluffy!

Chef: Hmm, now I know how all those white women must have felt.”
— Chef, South Park, Season 1: An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig
Tagged: Reproduction, Mother Nature, Pig, White Women
“Kyle: Stan, you can use family love as a weapon against Shelley. The next time she's going to kick your ass, just tell her 'Shelley, you're my sister and I love you.'

Kenny [muffled]: And I want to see you handling your breasts.

Stan: Sick, dude, she's my sister!”
— Kyle Broflovski, South Park, Season 1: An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig
Tagged: Family Love, kick your ass, I Love You, breasts, Harassment
“Mrs. Crabtree: Wait! What's that thing?! [referring to the elephant]

Kyle: Oh, this is the new retarded kid.

Mrs. Crabtree: Oh. I'm sorry, little girl, but you still can't get on. You have to take the Special Ed bus.”
— Kyle Broflovski, South Park, Season 1: An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig
Tagged: retarded kid, short bus, Elephant, antrhopomorphism
“That isn't fun for me, being the uptight girl. I hate it.”
— Marnie Michaels, Girls, Season 1: Weirdos Need Girlfriends Too
Tagged: Uptight, Uptight Girls
“In my day, the principal was the meanest sum-bitch God ever put on one leg. He'd lean on a desk with both hands, and swing his leg at ya! Then, when you were standing there shocked that a one-legged man had kicked ya...he'd bite ya!”
— Cotton Hill, King of the Hill, Season 7: An Officer and a Gentle Boy
Tagged: Corporal Punishment, One-Legged
“It appears that the horrible, destructive creature is actually 8-year-old Stan Marsh of South Park. When asked why he was wreaking such havoc on his hometown, the little boy replied, 'Me Stan, bachump, BA-chewy-chump, BA-chewy-chump.' Back to you in the studio.”
— News Broadcaster, South Park, Season 1: An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig
Tagged: News Reports, Mistaken Identity
“I've never been as miserable in my life.”
— Marnie Michaels, Girls, Season 1: Weirdos Need Girlfriends Too
Tagged: Miserable, Moping
“When I broke up with my girlfriend from college — SO sad. I lost 30 pounds, and I couldn’t move or talk or get my dick hard. BUT, it also made me go, ‘Hey. Who am I and what do I want?’ And then I was like BOOM. I know who I am. I wanted to switch majors, and buy a circular saw, and I promised myself that I’d follow my gut, no matter what. And I do what makes me feel good.”
— Adam Sackler, Girls, Season 1: Weirdos Need Girlfriends Too
Tagged: Breakups, weight loss, College Majors
“Cartman: If a woman did that to me, I'd be all like, 'Hey, why don't you stop...dressing me up like a mailman and making me dance for you, while you go and smoke crack in your bedroom and have sex with some guy I don't even know on my dad's bed?'

Stan: Cartman, what the heck are you talking about?

Cartman: I'm just saying you're just a little wuss, that's all.”
— Eric Cartman, South Park, Season 1: An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig
Tagged: Smoking Crack, bedroom, wuss, role playing
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