Close ×

ClaireFerguson1 Quotes

Total quotes (1)

ClaireFerguson1

ClaireFerguson1

Birthname

Total quotes (1)

A groom waits at the altar with a huge smile on his face. His best man asks, "Why do you look so excited?" The groom replies, "I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life, and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me." The bride waits at the other end of the aisle with a huge smile on her face. Her maid of honor asks, "Why do you look so excited?" The bride replies, "I just gave the last blow job of my entire life."

— ClaireFerguson1, A groom waits at the altar with a huge smile on his face.

wedding Marriage

Share

Related quotes to ClaireFerguson1 tagged Wedding, Marriage

I don't need a ring or a license, or a spectacular white dress. It's not marriage so much, or at all really, that matters. It's the promise. It's the knowing someone wants me to be part of his life. Someone loves me, that I'm the one for him. That's not just enough, it's everything.

— Nora Roberts, Savor The Moment

wedding Marriage Love

Share

I watched the video of my wedding backwards.
I almost cried when I took the ring back, gave her back to her father, moonwalked out of the church, and went away, free.

— Flippydaman, I watched the video of my wedding backwards.

Share

You already know what you’d say during your wedding vows. When it comes to the other person, you can always articulate what makes him/her so amazing and why you’ll be there for them forever.

— Laura Donovan, 10 Signs You're With The Person You Should Marry - Page 2 of 2

forever person wedding Marriage

Share

I vow to fiercely love you in all your forms, now and forever. I promise to never forget that this is a once in a lifetime love. And to always know in the deepest part of my soul that no matter what challenges might carry us apart, we will always find our way back to each other.

— Leo (Channing Tatum), The Vow

Vows wedding Love

Share

Did you hear about the two antennas who got married?
The wedding was terrible, but the reception was great!

— EdwadThatone, Did you hear about the two antennas who got married?

Antenna wedding

Share

He slipped the ring back into his pocket and stepped out into the cold.

— Annoymous, One Sentence Stories

Proposal wedding Heartbreak

Share

I was dying on the inside, aching for all that we’d lost, and as I stared at our wedding photograph, I hated myself for allowing it to happen.

— Nicholas Sparks, The Wedding (Novel Learning Series Book 2)

Lost Love Hate And Love Heartache Blame wedding Divorce Fighting Couple Endings

Share

Oh, are you setting Ross up with someone? Does she have a wedding dress?

— Rachel Green, The One With Ross's Teeth

Rachel Funny humor Dating wedding

Share

My fiance asked me what date I'd prefer for our wedding.
Apparently, "your sister" was not the right answer.

— johnnykitd, My fiance asked me what date I'd prefer for our wedding

Fiance sister wedding

Share

Prue Halliwell: She's a demon. She comes to earth every two hundred years. She has to find an innocent, put him under her spell, and marry him in a sanctified wedding.

Phoebe: That doesn't sound any different than most of the single women in this city.

— Phoebe Halliwell (Alyssa Milano), Charmed, Season 1: The Wedding from Hell

Share

You can be a Good Girl if you weren't a virgin on your wedding night. You can be a Good Girl if you're struggling with sexual problems, if you're haunted by your past, or if you're just simply trying to get over this deep-seated fear that sex is somehow dirty.

— Sheila Wray Gregoire, The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex: (And You Thought Bad Girls Have All the Fun)

good girl virgin wedding

Share

At an event. Whether it's a wedding, a sporting event, or a big barbecue, there's something about connecting during a public event that's super hot.

— Ashley Oerman, 11 Places Where You Need to Have Sex at Some Point in Your Life

places to have sex Sex wedding sporting event bbq

Share

When he has a wedding or a family party to go to, he never asks you to tag along.

— Holly Riordan, 35 Signs He’ll Never Become Your Boyfriend

Almost Relationship wedding Family parties

Share

Dating is cool and all but have you ever spent your Saturday night alone thinking about your wedding hashtag.

— Josh Peck, via twitter.com

Single wedding Dating

Share

Even if a dress looks strange on a hanger, it's worth at least trying on because it may look completely magical on you.

— Farrah Penn and Crystal Ro, 101 Wedding Hacks You'll Wish You Read Sooner

wedding Marriage dresses

Share

In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world, there is no love for you like mine.

— Maya Angelou, Soul Shattering Poetry

Marriage Love Perfect Love romance Perfect Dating Wedding Vows Things To Text Her

Share

I think a lot of people still fantasize about that first love and what might happen if they rekindled the relationship.

— Sophie Kinsella, Sophie Kinsella on Wedding Night: What if someone deliberately

Share

Marry someone who improves you and approves of you. — J.J. Abrams

Marry someone who improves you and approves of you.

— J.J. Abrams, J.J. Abrams Keynote Address to the Class of 2017

Marriage wedding H4D-16

Share

Some people say their wedding was the best day of their lives. I’m guessing they’ve never had two candy bars fall out of the vending machine simultaneously.

— Unknown, 30 Dirty Jokes About Love And Marriage That Are Kind Of Offensive (But Also Hilarious)

Marriage wedding candy Irony

Share

Marriage is about compromise; it's about doing something for the other person, even when you don't want to.

— Nicholas Sparks, The Wedding

Marriage Compromise wedding Husband and Wife

Share

Matrimony is a serious thing.

— Anne Brontë, The Tenant of Wildfell Hall (A Penguin Classics Hardcover)

Marriage wedding Commitment

Share

Well, we were engaged to be married, uh, we bought the wedding invitations, and, uh, yada yada yada, I'm still single.

— George Costanza (Jason Alexander), Seinfeld, Season 8: The Yada Yada

Breakups Marriage Wedding Invitations Single Yada Yada

Share

If a guy leaves when things get a little rocky, it means he is lacking in the most important quality you need in a partner, and that is a man who is committed not only to you, but to making it work.

— Sabrina Alexis, Everything You Need To Know If You Want Love That Lasts

Love lasting love inspiration Relationships Dating Advice romance marriage & adult relationships Marriage Fitness diet

Share

In 10 years, when the dopamine has waned, remember: life is a crazy ride, its a privilege to go through it with a partner.

— Kristen Bell, How To Have A Long And Happy Marriage

Inspiring Marriage Advice Love Love Advice Marriage

Share

Love is needing someone. Love is putting up with someone's bad qualities because they somehow complete you.

— Sarah Dessen, This Lullaby

Love Dating Marriage

Share

My wife and I were happy for 20 years, and then we met.

— Rodney Dangerfield, What's your favorite one liner joke? • /r/AskReddit

Funny Quotes Marriage Relationships Dating

Share

I don't understand how people have multiple lovers. Isn't one a big enough headache? — Blanca Moreno ✒️

I don't understand how people have multiple lovers. Isn't one a big enough headache?

— Blanca Moreno ✒️, via www.instagram.com

Cheating Playing The Field H4D-47 Marriage Dating

Share

Trending Shows