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Chris Sheridan Quotes

Total quotes: 10
“Peter Griffin: Run along Stewie, Daddy had a rough night.

Stewie Griffin: Why you tottering fen sucked dewberry, I'm going to find something to strike you with, excuse me.”
— Stewie Griffin, Family Guy, Season 3: Lethal Weapons
Tagged: I Hate Dad, Snark, Evil
“Peter Griffin: I'll handle it, Lois. I read a book about this sort of thing once.

Brian Griffin: Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't nothing?”
— Brian Griffin, Family Guy, Season 2: If I'm Dyin', I'm Lyin'
Tagged: Snark, mean, Funny, Reading
“Peter Griffin: Did you just say I was fat?

Doctor: Well, uh, yeah. You... you are pretty fat.

Peter Griffin: Um, okay... this is news to me.”
— Peter Griffin, Family Guy, Season 4: The Fat Guy Strangler
Tagged: doctors, Getting News, fat
“Joe Swanson: What were you doing last night?

Peter Griffin: Fucking your mother.”
— Peter Griffin, Family Guy, Season 10: Burning Down the Bayit
Tagged: Snark, SASS, Fucking Your Mom
“Damn you ice cream! Come to my mouth! How dare you disobey me! What are you looking at you... you infantile... stupid? That's right, damn you and such. You can... burn in hell...”
— Stewie Griffin, Family Guy, Season 2: He's Too Sexy for His Fat
Tagged: ice cream, Damn You, Melting Ice Cream, Burn In Hell
“Mother, I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint: it's in my diaper and it's not a toaster.”
— Stewie Griffin, Family Guy, Season 2: I Am Peter, Hear Me Roar
Tagged: Parenthood, babies, humor, Potty Trained
“Peter Griffin: There's gotta be an explanation for all this!
Brian Griffin: You want an explanation? [smacks Peter] GOD... IS...PISSED!”
— Brian Griffin, Family Guy, Season 2: If I'm Dyin', I'm Lyin'
Tagged: God, God Is Pissed, Funny
“Lois Griffin: Peter, you're bribing your daughter with a car?

Peter Griffin: Come on, Lois, isn't 'bribe' just another word for 'love?'”
— Peter Griffin, Family Guy, Season 1: I Never Met the Dead Man
Tagged: Love, Bribe, SASS
“Brian Griffin: So, had a little trouble up there on stage, huh?

Stewie Griffin: What do you mean?

Brian Griffin: I mean crying and wetting yourself, you looked ridiculous.

Stewie Griffin: You know what? I'm gonna buy a cake when you're dead.”
— Stewie Griffin, Family Guy, Season 8: Peter-assment
Tagged: embarrassed, Snark, Sassy, I Hate You
“Psychologist: Does Stewart have a history of aggression?

Lois Griffin: No, no, hitting Peter is the first violent thing he's ever done.

Stewie Griffin: Well, technically the first act of violence was that time bomb I left ticking in your uterus before I came out. Happy 50th birthday Lois!”
— Stewie Griffin, Family Guy, Season 3: Lethal Weapons
Tagged: Evil Baby, Evil, I Hate You Mom, Evil Plan
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