Close ×

Casual-Kiwi- Quotes

Total quotes (2)

Casual-Kiwi-

Casual-Kiwi-

Birthname

Total quotes (2)

What do you call someone who's afraid of Santa?
Claustrophobic.

— Casual-Kiwi-, What do you call someone who's afraid of Santa?

Share

What kind of organization is Atheism?
A non-prophet.

— Casual-Kiwi-, What kind of organization is Atheism?

Share

Related quotes to Casual-Kiwi- tagged Santa, Atheism, Puns

We have a choice about how we take what happens to us in our life and whether or not we allow it to turn us. We can become consumed by hate and darkness, or we’re able to regain our humanity somehow, or come to terms with things and learn something about ourselves.

— Angelina Jolie, Angelina takes professor to task for saying myth of Santa causes harms

Choices Decisions Lessons Learning

Share

Why was Santa’s little helper depressed? Because he had very low elf esteem.

— Unknown, 50 Funny, Clean Christmas Jokes That Will Get You In The Holiday Spirit

Christmas Jokes santa Depression

Share

Everyone wants a Christmas tree. If you had a Christmas tree Santa would bring you stuff! Like hair curlers and slut shoes.

— Janet Evanovich, Visions of Sugar Plums

Holidays Christmas Tree santa

Share

Libby: What’s your problem, Freak? Hoping Santa will give you a personality this year?

Sabrina: And a crossbow!

— Sabrina Spellman (Melissa Joan Hart), Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 2: Sabrina Claus

Insult bullying Sassy Comeback santa Christmas Holidays Violence

Share

7-year-old: Santa isn't real.

Me: That's right.

7: But he can still stop here if he wants to.

— James Breakwell, via twitter.com

Christmas santa kids Children Adorable

Share

Where does Santa keep all his money? At the local snow bank.

— Unknown, 50 Funny, Clean Christmas Jokes That Will Get You In The Holiday Spirit

santa Christmas Jokes

Share

I'm telling you, Tommy, that Santa's a bad guy. He's always watching you, keeping track of everything you do, and then in the middle of the night he breaks into your house with a big bag full of who-knows-what.

— Chuckie Finster (voice) (Nancy Cartwright), Rugrats, Season 2: The Santa Experience

santa suspicion skeptical

Share

Male & female Reindeer grow antlers, but males lose them in winter. All Santa’s reindeer, Rudolph too, are therefore female.

— Neil deGrasse Tyson, via Twitter

reindeer santa Christmas rudolph

Share

How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing. It was on the house!

— Unknown, 50 Funny, Clean Christmas Jokes That Will Get You In The Holiday Spirit

Christmas Jokes santa Wordplay

Share

How do you know when Santa’s around? You can always sense his presents.

— Unknown, 50 Funny, Clean Christmas Jokes That Will Get You In The Holiday Spirit

santa Puns Christmas Jokes

Share

The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa.

— Unknown, 50 Terrible, Quick Jokes That’ll Get You A Laugh On Demand

Pun Dyslexia devil santa satan

Share

God put Santa Claus on earth to remind us that Christmas is 'sposed to be a happy time.

— Bil Keane, Jeffy's Lookin' at Me

Holidays God santa Christmas

Share

7-year-old: Do you think Santa is making our presents right now?

5-year-old: Maybe not. We were pretty bad.

— James Breakwell, via twitter.com

Children kids children conversations Christmas santa Adorable

Share

How much does Santa's sleigh cost?
$0, it's on the house.

— kittycait88, How much does Santa's sleigh cost?

santa Christmas

Share

Prayer doesn't work because someone out there is listening, it works because someone in here is listening. I've paid attention. I've pictured what I want to happen in my life. I've meditated extensively on my family, my future, my past actions and what did and didn't work for me about them.

— Adam Savage, Words to Chew On: Mythbusters’ Adam Savage Delievers Speech For Morality

prayer atheism meditation Listening

Share

Without God, there’s no structure, no order. With no one at the wheel, we hit the rocks, it’s chaos.

— Jesse Custer (Dominic Cooper), Preacher, Season 2: Puzzle Piece

atheism Life Without God God Ethics

Share

It’s a strange myth that atheists have nothing to live for. It’s the opposite. We have nothing to die for. We have everything to live for.

— Ricky Gervais, Outsoaring the Shadow: Atheistic thoughts on life and death

atheism Religion Death Life

Share

I am an atheist and I consider religions to be a form of collective neurosis. I am not an enemy of the Catholics, as I am not an enemy of the tuberculars, the myopic or the paralytics; you cannot be an enemy of the sick, only their good friend in order to help them cure themselves.

— Diego Rivera, via www.goodreads.com

atheism Catholic Religion Christianity Neurosis

Share

I'm actually the fourth generation in my family to have no practical use for the church, or God, or religion. My children continue this trend

— Adam Savage, Words to Chew On: Mythbusters’ Adam Savage Delievers Speech For Morality

Religion God Church Family atheism

Share

Those who say that the study of science makes a man an atheist, must be rather silly people.

— Max Born, via rsc.byu.edu

atheism Science

Share

There is no God in the Badlands.

— Quinn (Marton Csokas), Into the Badlands, Season 1: The Fort

atheism Nihilism

Share

I so miss being an atheist.

— Donatello Redfield (Keith Szarabajka), Supernatural, Season 11: All in the Family

Share

People who are atheists, they hate God, they hate the expression of God, and they are angry with the world, angry with themselves, angry with society and they take it out on innocent people who are worshipping God.

— Pat Robertson, via www.christianpost.com

Share

Trending Shows