Ann Marcus Quotes
Total quotes (17)
Total quotes (17)
Charlie, honey, you gotta quit treating me like I'm some puny little heifer, honey, just 'cause I'm the teensiest littlest bit pregnant. Now, listen, I come from very hardy stock. A half hour before my grandmother birthed her thirteenth young'un, she was unloading 100-pound bags of fertilizer off the pickup.
Charlie Haggers: I wouldn't take no trip without some kind of protection. You never know what's lurkin' around out there, Loretta. I mean, be prepared, that's my motto. Be prepared.
Loretta Haggers: Isn't that somebody else's motto, too?
Charlie Haggers: The Boy Scouts of America. They don't fool around, neither.
Mary Hartman: It was a wonderful book. It was guaranteed to improve my emotional health.
Harold Clemens: Did it improve your emotional health?
Mary Hartman: I think so, I definitely think so. You see, it was while I was reading that book that I realized that I needed glasses, and that made me feel much better.
Loretta Haggers: [Referring to the Lombardi family] Someone just shot 'em.
Mary Hartman: Oh my God. The whole family?
Loretta Haggers: All five of them, plus two goats and eight chickens.
Mary Hartman: I can't believe that. What kind of a madman would shoot two goats and eight chickens. [after a pause] And the people...the people, of course.
Mary Hartman: Where's Grandpa?
Martha Shumway: Watching Years of Our Days to Live. It's his favorite.
Mary Hartman: Oh, I don't like that one.
Martha Shumway: No?
Mary Hartman: No, all the girls look alike, and they're all divorced, and all the husbands fool around with someone at work. I like a more realistic program where everybody's happy.
Loretta Haggers: [regains consciousness, groggy] What happened?
Charlie Haggers: Oh, honey, we had an accident, hit a station wagon full of nuns.
Loretta Haggers: A station wagon full of nuns? Is that a sin?
Charlie Haggers: Well, baby, if you're Catholic, but we're not Catholic.
Loretta Haggers: Oh, good. I mean, you know, under the circumstances and everything, no offense to the Catholics.
Tom Hartman: I want to tell you something, too.
Mae Olinski: Yeah?
Tom Hartman: You know I'm married?
Mae Olinski: To your wife, right?
Tom Hartman: To my wife. Does it make a difference?
Mae Olinski: Sure, it makes a difference. But like they say, nobody's perfect.
[Tom and Mae break into laughter and exit the bar]
Mary Hartman: [On the phone] Grandpa Larkin's at the police station?
Sgt. Foley: Yes, he is.
Mary Hartman: Is he all right?
Sgt. Foley: Well, not exactly.
Mary Hartman: Is he hurt? I mean, what did he have, an accident?
Sgt. Foley: No, he's not hurt. And I'm afraid what happened to him was not an accident.
Mary Hartman: I don't know what you mean.
Sgt. Foley: I'm afraid he did it deliberately. That's why he was arrested.
Mary Hartman: What was he arrested for?
Sgt. Foley: Indecent exposure.
Mary Hartman: [puzzled] Indecent exposure?
Sgt. Foley: That's right. I'm afraid, Miss Hartman, that your grandfather is the Fernwood Flasher.
Mary Hartman: [to Sergeant Foley, stunned] Listen. Uh, um...I can't talk now. I'm on the phone.