My Old Ass isn’t just a quirky title…it’s a wild, heartfelt ride into the chaos of growing up and getting advice from… well, yourself. This story flips the script on coming-of-age with a time-travel twist that’s as hilarious as it is unexpectedly heartwarming.

What makes My Old Ass stand out isn’t just its unique premise, it’s also the sharp, tender, and quotable lines.

Here are our favorite quotes from My Old Ass:

1.

Chad (Percy Hynes White): You know, to think that there was a time when you were out biking around with your friends, pretending you were getting chased by zombies, you were just all dirty and sweaty and having the best time and then… you went home and parked your bike in the garage and went to bed, not realizing that that was the last time you were ever going to get to do that.

2.

Older Elliott (Aubrey Plaza): Left boob. One cup smaller than the right. And no, it never catches up to the right. But honestly, you get used to it and it’s OK. Guys can’t really tell. Girls can.

3.

4.

Older Elliott (Aubrey Plaza): The only thing you can’t get back is time. When you get older, it goes by so fast, dude.

5.

Elliott (Maisy Stella): I just really wish that time would just stop for a second so I could enjoy it for a little bit longer.

6.

Older Elliott (Aubrey Plaza): Just keep being the naïve, dumb, poreless, smart, happy, confident, brave, self-centered optimistic idiot that you are because it’s perfect.

7.

Max (Seth Isaac Johnson): On my last birthday card, you wrote, “I wish you a happy birthday, but cis-white men don’t need any more happiness.”

8.

Elliott (Maisy Stella): I can admit someone’s face is symmetrical and not fuck them.

9.

Elliott (Maisy Stella): Even though the world is like, literally one fire and full of uneducated racists, I’m just like trying to force myself to have hope.

10.

Elliott (Maisy Stella): I’m smarter than I look, Chad.

Chad (Percy Hynes White): I think you look smart.