The 10 Best Quotes From ‘Happy Gilmore’

Before he was trending again in Happy Gilmore 2, Happy was just a foul-mouthed, fist-throwing, hockey-wannabe who accidentally became golf’s greatest underdog. Happy Gilmore (1996) gave us a hero who putted with passion, fought Bob Barker on live TV, and made “The price is wrong, bitch!” a household phrase.

With its wild one-liners, absurd brawls, and somehow heartwarming story, this cult classic proved that golf can be hilarious—especially when you’re not playing by the rules. As the sequel tees off, we look back at the glorious, chaotic mess that started it all.

1.

Shooter McGavin (Christopher McDonald): You’re in big trouble though, pal. I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast!

Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler): You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?

Shooter McGavin (Christopher McDonald): No!

2.

Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler): You little son of a bitch ball! Why you don’t you just go home? That ‘s your home! Are you too good for your home?

3.

Nursing Home Orderly (Ben Stiller): Good news, everybody, we’re extending arts and crafts time by four hours today.

Elderly Woman (Betty Linde): My fingers hurt.

Nursing Home Orderly (Ben Stiller): What’s that?

Elderly Woman (Betty Linde): My fingers hurt.

Nursing Home Orderly (Ben Stiller): Oh, well, now your back’s gonna hurt, ’cause you just pulled landscaping duty. Anybody else’s fingers hurt?… I didn’t think so.

4.

Shooter McGavin (Christopher McDonald): Just stay out of my way… or you’ll pay! LISTEN to what I say!

Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler): Hey, why don’t I just go eat some hay, make things out of clay, lay by the bay? I just may! What’d ya say?

5.

Virginia (Julie Bowen): What’s this I hear about you breaking a rake and throwing it in the woods?

Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler): What? I didn’t break it, I was just testing its durability, and then I placed it in the woods because it’s made of wood and I just thought he should be with his family.

6.

Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler): During high school, I played junior hockey and still hold two league records: most time spent in the penalty box; and I was the only guy to ever take off his skate and try to stab somebody.

7.

Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler): The price is wrong, bitch!

8.

Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler): Did that go in? I wasn’t watching, did it go in? I didn’t see it, could you tell me if it went in?

9.

Grandma (Frances Bay): Sir, can I trouble you for a glass of warm milk? It helps me go to sleep.

Nursing Home Orderly (Ben Stiller): You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up! Now, you will go to sleep! Or I will PUT you to sleep. Check out the name tag. You’re in MY world now, grandma!

10.

Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler): That’s my puck, baby, don’t you ever touch my puck.

About The Author

I’m the founder of Thought Catalog and The Thought & Expression Company Inc.