1. “You’re a slut pig!” – Kim Richards to Brandi Glanville
2. “At least I don’t do crystal meth in the bathroom all night long, bitch.” – Brandi Glanville to Kim Richards
3. “You’re a goddamn bitch!” (JINX!) – The Richards Sisters to Brandi Glanville
4. “I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!” – Brandi Glanville to The Richards Sisters
5. “Why don’t you have a piece of bread and maybe you’ll calm down a little?” – Kim Richards to Lisa Rinna
6. “Bloody hell, I’m going to have to put out tonight.” – Lisa Vanderpump
7. “I don’t have a drinking problem, I have a drinking solution.” – Brandi Glanville
8. “The morally corrupt Faye Resnick.” – Camille Grammer
9. “This is my party, do me a favor and stay away from me.” -Taylor Armstrong
10. “You stole my goddamn house!” – Kim Richards to Sister Kyle
11. “I have this Jesus complex, I think.” – Camille Grammer
12. “I can’t stop because you’re off your fucking rocker!” -Taylor Armstrong to Kim Richards
13. “Wow, she’s pernicious.” – Camille Grammer
14. “My dog is pink, so why shouldn’t my pussy be?” – Lisa Vanderpump
15. “Are we taking the Bentley, mom?” – Little Portia
16. “Can we get a bottle of Roséout here? And a funnel!” – Kyle Richards
17. “You really piss me off because you’re a real asshole.” –Yolanda Hadid to Taylor Armstrong
18. “Thank God for Xanax.” – Brandi Glanville
19. “It’s nice to know she’s been eating, even if it’s only diet pills.” – Lisa Vanderpump
20. “My hair is iconic, and don’t you fucking forget!” – Lisa Rinna
21. “Let’s get it straight. Men love beautiful women and beautiful women love rich men. Still fuck your husband for a Chanel bag. There’s temptation everywhere.” – Yolanda Hadid
22. “I’m a sweet, fun-loving person, until you cross me, and then I will fucking cut a bitch.” – Brandi Glanville
23. “I don’t like bullshit and I that’s what I think you are.” – Erika Girardi to Dorit Kemsley
24. “I don’t throw wine glasses, I throw wine.” – Brandi Glanville
25. “I love squirrels!” – Kim Richards
26. “You need to change your Depends because you’re so full of shit.” – Brandi Glanville to Lisa Rinna
27. “I am sorry. I am not putting my mouth on a straw where Brandi’s mouth has been. Would you?” – Kyle Richards
28. “If I was a bully, I would have knocked out your teeth by now.” – Brandi Glanville
29. “181 kilometers is actually 112 mph, which means I will chop off his penis.” – Kyle Richards
30. “This is a cheeky little gift since we’ve all seen your pretty little puss now.” – Dorit Kemsley to Erika Girardi
31. Eileen: “It’s the crotch chronicles.” Dorit: “It’s the snatch chat.”
32. “I saw what Mr. Girardi been munching on for the last 20 years.” – Lisa Vanderpump
33. “Why do these bitches keep talking about my vagina?” – Erika Girardi
34. “If I can smell your breath, you’re too close.” – Dorit Kemsley
35. “I’ve decided that I would have a Studio 54 party for my birthday. Studio 54 was a fabulous time, it was fun! This is when people were really being free and cocaine wasn’t addictive…allegedly.” – Erika Girardi
36. “Now may be a good time to keep those big lips closed.” – Kyle Richards about Lisa Rinna
37. “Apparently if you have a penis you never get lost.” – Kyle Richards
38. “I’m like a cockroach. You can’t get rid of me.” – Lisa Rinna
39. “I thought I had a stroke, but it was my false eyelashes, making one eye look smaller than the other.” – Kyle Richards
40. “I better start drinking green shit and jogging.” – Brandi Glanville
41. “It costs a lot of money to bring my glam squad. But they’re worth it. So I’ll look great, while everyone else looks dusty.” – Erika Girardi
42. Kyle: “You’re not wanted.” Brandi: “Excuse me, neither are you. Ask your husband.”
44. “Sometimes I want to strangle him, but that’s life, isn’t it?” – Lisa Vanderpump
45. “No matter how many Chanels you borrow, you will never, ever, be a lady.” – Faye Resnick to Brandi Glanville
46. “What means ‘cunnilingus’?” – Yolanda Hadid
47. “Nice to meet you….and your newly renovated vagina.” -Eileen Davidson
48. “My goal is to be so completely wasted so I don’t even know what’s happening because if you don’t hear it and you don’t see it then it didn’t happen…like blackout sex..” – Brandi Glanville
49. “I’m not in the bathroom doing cocaine. I’m not in the car smoking pot. I like my wine. It is what it is.” – Brandi Glanville
50. “Were people doing coke in your bathroom?” – Lisa Rinna to Dorit Kemsley
51. “My house is a coke den.I have two little babies but my house is a coke den.” – Dorit Kemsley
52. “You want me to eat your pussy?” – Brandi Glanville to Lisa Vanderpump
53. “I’m about to take you out back and pull some Oklahoma on your ass.” -Taylor Armstrong to Kim Richards
54. “Pat the puss. Pat the puss. Pat the puss.” – Erika Girardi
55. “I’ve had enough of you, you beast.” – Kim Richards to Eileen Davidson
