10 Hilarious And Heartwarming Quotes From ‘The Birdcage’

If you grew up in the ’80s or ’90s, Robin Williams and Nathan Lane will always have a special place in your heart—they were the characters of our childhood, the adults that made us laugh and feel safe. Even now, thirty to forty years later, their films have the ability to transport us to another time—and this campy, laugh-out-loud comedy isn’t an exception.

In The Birdhouse, Robin Williams plays Armand, a gay drag club owner who lives with his partner, Albert (Nathan Lane). Their son Val (Dan Futterman) visits home to tell them that he’s getting married, but there’s a catch—he wants Armand and Albert to meet his future in-laws, but his fiance’s father happens to be a conservative senator. Because of this, Val pleads his parents to pretend to be straight, going so far to enlist his estranged biological mother (Christine Baranski) for help.

Has every part of this film aged well? Of course not. But there is still plenty to love in The Birdcage, including these hilarious and heart-warming quotes:

1.

Armand (Robin Williams): What are you giving him drugs for? What the hell are Pirin tablets?

Agador (Hank Azaria): That’s aspirin with the A and the S scraped off.

2.

Albert (Nathan Lane): Don’t use that tone to me!

Armand (Robin Williams): What tone?

Albert: That sarcastic, contemptuous tone that means you know everything because you’re a man, and I know nothing because I’m a woman.

Armand: You’re not a woman.

Albert: Oh, you b*stard!

3.

Armand (Robin Williams): You do an eclectic celebration of the dance! You do Fosse, Fosse, Fosse! You do Martha Graham, Martha Graham, Martha Graham! Or Twyla, Twyla, Twyla! Or Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd! Or Madonna, Madonna, Madonna!… but you keep it all inside.

4.

Albert (Nathan Lane):  Whatever I am, he made me! I was adorable once, young and full of hope. And now look at me! I’m this short, fat, insecure, middle-aged thing!

Armand (Robin Williams): I made you short?

5.

Celsius (Luca Tommassini): Chewing gum helps me think.

Albert (Nathan Lane): Sweetie, you’re wasting your gum!

6.

Albert (Nathan Lane): Oh god, I pierced the toast!

7.

Armand (Robin Williams): My cemetery’s in Key Biscayne. It’s one of the prettiest in the world. The sky is blue, palm trees, rolling hills. The one is Los Copa’s really shit. What a pain in the a** you are. And it’s true: you’re not young, you’re not new, and you do make people laugh. And me? I’m still with you because you make me laugh. So you know what I got to do? I got to sell my plot in Key Biscayne so I can get one next to you in that sh*thole Los Copa, so I never miss a laugh.

8.

Louise Keeley (Dianne Wiest): Oh, what interesting china. It looks like young men playing leap frog.

9.

Albert (Nathan Lane): “You look tired” means “you look old.” And “you look rested” means “you’ve had collagen.”

10.

Armand (Robin Williams):  So this is hell. And there’s a crucifix in it.

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